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Recently there has been some confusion over certain particular pieces of art in my albums on here. Most are over one in particular. It is a poetic representation that someone (not myself) wrote concerning the "general" BDSM relationship between two consenting adults.
Not all Dom/mes use harsh terms in addressing their subs. Mine does not, because of the ways some of those words were used toward me for a number of years in BAD relationships He doesn't wish to emulate. Every Dom/me has the choice of being a gentle or harsh Dom/me, and most will take their sub's feelings into consideration, especially outside the scenes. Many of these relationships are loving and end (or sometimes begin) in dating and/or marriage. We are used to being persecuted for our beliefs, however sad that may be. Please, before you make blanketing comments on a graphic describing a lifestyle, take a moment to learn about that lifestyle and its participants, choices & rights before saying something that shoves your foot in your mouth. Take note of the wording in this piece - "IF HE SAYS...then i am..." If is a large word, meaning there is choice. Nowhere in this piece does it say that i am or He says that i am. He doesn't call me any of the derogatory things mentioned because i am not any of those things in His mind. Maybe the author's Dom did, however, so she wrote it as such.
Now, I understand that many of you look at "BDSM" as being synonymous with D/s, but that is not entirely the case. BDSM is mainly the scene, the "play-acting" as you will, surrounding the act of sex in a D/s relationship. It can involve anything from role play to bondage, costumes to whips. Whatever the "actors" choose. A loving, cohabiting D/s couple, however, need to transition this in some way into their daily lives. Sometimes it is very male-dominant, sometimes female-dominant, and sometimes it is on a more equal plane.
Even in today's "modern" "feminist" or "women's lib" society, the BDSM lifestyle isn't the only D/s relationship! Many Christian sects teach their men to be the leaders in ALL aspects, especially church and home. Women in these congregations have "rights" but are morally obligated to follow their husband's lead. One of my best friends and her husband are Baptist, and she "submits" to her husband's will in everything from asking his permission before accepting an invitation to come visit or have me visit her, is in charge of the children, the household, meals, etc. They both worked (she now stays home, but will return to teaching once their youngest enters school), yet he would come home and sit down with a beer & the remote while she continued working. That is a form of a D/s relationship based on the Bible's teaching. The verses they take their household hierarchy from include (but are not limited to):
(Courtesy of www.crosswalk.com Bible study tools)
Aaron and I are God-fearing Christians that happen to not only obey these verses in our daily lives (outside the bedroom), but we also carry this role into the bedroom. At times he will open the door for me to assume the more dominant role, and at times I will take that opportunity as I know it is what he wishes. Our aim is to please each other in our relationship as well as in our sexual relations. Neither of us takes our role "too far" or endangers the other ever. We are completely in love, and feel ourselves blessed to have the other in our lives. Every word spoken to each other is with love and consideration. We prefer to use terms of endearment versus some Dom/mes that prefer to keep their submissives at "arm's length" or out of their personal life entirely, separating him/herself in two. Our D/s relationship didn't blossom until after we'd known each other over a year and had been dating over a month. Our love and its relationship takes precedence over our D/s roles, but they walk hand-in-hand more often than not.
I always feel loved, whether it's Aaron my Master, Aaron my best friend, or Aaron my future-husband talking to me, making a request of me, or ordering me to do something. I gladly heed his words, not because I fear his punishment but because I love him and by doing what he asks I am making him happy. My happiness comes from those around me that are happy for/with me. My pleasure comes from knowing I've given others happiness and pleasure. My heart fills with joy at words of praise from my friends', family's, and Master's lips as all humans do.
We all get joy and happiness from accolades and praise. We all want to hear someone is proud of us and/or loves us. It's human nature. Why we can't all try as hard to see others' points of view, or accept others' flaws instead of targeting them is beyond my comprehension. Just because someone does or says something differently doesn't mean you have the right to target them, harass them, or become a true bully by recruiting others with the same mean spirit to harass them, then taking joy and pride in their suffering.
There are MANY adult-aged bullies on this site. Those who love to prey on others for their own satisfaction. Sadly, they are the ones in need of the most love, for apparently they have some great void inside their hearts they assume only ripping others apart will fill. Or worse, they have no soul at all, and are trying to fill their empty space up with Satan's evils instead, gaining his favor points for every tear caused, every heart broken, every spirit crushed with harsh words and unthinking harassment. I like to take the Christian approach and go to them directly, revealing what their words have done. If that doesn't work, I bring it before the proper authorities. If that still yields no reprieve, or the authorities take too long, I bring their grievances in front of the assembly for public appeal.
A lovely friend of mine I haven't had the chance to speak with in over 2 years now once gave me this advice (and she was pagan): "Say of those that hurt you, 'Let them get what they deserve.' For with those words, you are not stooping to their level of malevolance, wishing ill upon them, but merely allowing the powers that be, that govern all of us, to deal with this miscreant child with the poers' choice of punishment (which will, inevitably, be MUCH more effective and constructive than anything we mortals can accomplish for revenge)."
Yet still, words said with malice behind them still sting, still bring tears. Despite what anyone thinks or says on here, my real-life friends know my value, my tender-heartedness, the height of my intelligence, and the ease with which I am brought to tears. You may say to me, "It's just a silly game" or "They're only brave because they're hiding behind a computer to say those things" or "They must be shallow people to be amused by hurting others, don't let it bother you." You may say these things to me, but they will not do any good. I cannot change who and what I am. I am a very easily-wounded soul, a tender, delicate person inside. It was the harassment of people like this that forced me to become a near-recluse over the last 33 years. First, being picked on by school bullies, then being emotionally abused by my husband of 10 years, and now as an adult I'm forced to deal with insensitive, ignorant, hateful bullies still?? I am a nervous wreck, a sick person dying slowly from the inside out because of what people make me feel. I've begun to assume that for every good person on this planet, there are 5 bullies to keep them secluded, because if we ever got together, our energy would be more powerful than the "Care Bear stare."
Bullies, whether child or adult, online or in person, are doing the devil's work. They are breeding anger, hate, discord. They spread lies, deceit, and twist things to suit their agendas. They are skillful in their ability to get people on their "bandwagon" as well as jumping on others' when it looks to provide a good source of amusement for them and their underworld ruler. Whether they have admitted it or not, they are working for him, and not for the side of good as some would proclaim. Some will try to convince you they are the most Christian Christians, martyrs to the cause. However, they are wolves in sheep's clothing, who are pulling you into their web of hate. I beg of all my friends, when you see someone being bullied, stand up for them. When you see someone bullying, stand up TO them. If enough of us reach out and assert ourselves against them, we just may be able to lessen evil's strong grasp on those who would persecute us.
After writing some of this in an email to a friend of mine this morning, i realized i'd never spilled my heart this eloquently before... so i'm posting portions of the email here for all to read my depressed mood in black & white:
I've spent 10 years watching my husband slowly morph into a man i don't know, a man i can't love... an emotionally abusive, hypocritical man that lets his anger push him to leave bruises on my heart and my face when he can't get his point across... the eminem/rhianna song "love the way you lie" is my life... i try to leave and he apologizes, i stay and we go right back to the hurt... he'll never actually let me leave... he'd kill me emotionally if not physically to keep me from being with someone else... and every day i fall more in love with a man i'm scared i'll never in this life have because i don't want my daughters to grow up without their mother...
I know my husband feels pain, hates seeing me potentially falling in love with someone else in front of his eyes... the difference is he doesn't want to do anything to change things, he just wants me to stay and change myself instead... i have a feeling some of you guys would do anything and everything in your power to get back what you had. He doesn't even try to make me WANT to stay... we haven't slept in the same room in months, and even when i do sleep in bed with him, i can be completely naked and he STILL won't roll over and touch me... so what's the point? why should i bother?
First things first:
1. I am not writing this in vengeance
2. I do not want you to try to convince me I'm wrong, EVERY person that has tried to BOOST my ego from here has destroyed it again - hence this blog.
3. I really just need to vent this out, and bless you if you read it because you'll end up knowing me deeper than anyone has ever tried.
Please don't leave "comments" on this, i'll just end up deleting them.
Ok, show of hands. Who among us has been picked on (a LOT) when in school? Who has trusted people that you found out too little too late didn't deserve that trust? Who has believed someone when they were told "I love you" by someone who "doesn't just say things like that,"and has "really been hurt" by love in the past? If you answered "no" to any of these, please don't pass judgment until you have walked a mile in our shoes. And furthermore, if you have CAUSED pain to another by doing any of these things, hopefully this will inspire you to do the right and honorable thing...
I'm married, that's been established. 10 years on August 5. My parents were so against the wedding my father wasn't going to even come, and my mother woke up by saying "This is the worst day of my life" in the hotel room I was sharing with her...What a beautiful start to a happy future!! If I knew then what I know now, I'd have listened to them. That, however, is a different blog.
I certainly didn't join fubar to meet "the love of my life" or a soulmate or anything of the kind. However, sometimes things just happen. Some of these times you want to choke fate and turn a .50 cal on luck. I've made some WONDERFUL friends on here, some I really do regard as family, since mine is so small!! Some of the guys have always jokingly said things about "if you weren't married"... but I always just ignored them because I despise, abhor, loathe, and am completely disgusted by the way I look out of clothing (and in most clothing. I understand my friends' need to tell me I'm wrong, which in some eyes I might be... but in MY eyes, I'll never get a compliment I can take without trying to argue it. This makes me high-maintenance, and i know it. It's why i avoid getting into "relationships" - online or otherwise. I tend to be clingy, easily-depressed, needy, etc. But tell me - if you had felt like one big mistake your entire life, would you have any well of self-confidence to draw from??
The way I've seen it explained best, is we're born with a certain number of "cups" in us, that have all of our emotions. Anger, Love, Caring, Empathy, Fear, Self-Confidence... Those around us draw from and give to these cups in everything that takes emotion. If someone makes you cry, they add to the sadness cup, as well as any others that played into the sadness - maybe fear, for example. They also draw from other cups - like self-confidence, happiness, patience, love... which is why (especially in women) an argument with a loved one is so draining, emotionally spiritually and physically!!
Well, we rely on many different sources to "fill" the good cups, and help keep the bad cups at a manageable level (depression, anger, self-loathing...). Our family, our friends, even our children can help to a point - but it's not really their place. An unhealthy person looks to their family to "fix" what's wrong in them, or make them feel better, instead of working at it themselves - a lot like those always asking for help with leveling, but who you never see rating or commenting others to help them (or help themselves, for that matter - i gained almost all my last million points by "liking" people! and gained some great new friends thanks!!)
For those among the readers that are Christian, the term "Pharisee" might ring a bell, it might even make sense. To those who are non-Christian, don't worry, there's no secret Bible lesson here, just a really good example of people who were very selfish and hypocritical. Pharisees liked to make sure everyone knew how "good" and "pious" they were in their religiousness. They would make sure they looked terrible if they were fasting for a religious holiday, or pray loudly in the temple so others would hear and thing they were great. In today's English, we'd call them anything from braggarts to show-offs or make comments about them (especially the men) needing to "compensate" for lacking in other departments. My family and husband are primarily this way, sadly. Always worried "what will other people think?!?!" instead of worrying what's BEST for the people involved!!
For what it's worth, I found the most amazing man I'd ever met. We were quickly friends on a deep level, thinking alike on many topics and being both intelligent enough to debate the others without either feeling the need to "win" - just curious as to the other's reasons why. I could feel myself feeling love for him, but forced myself to keep it to myself, because of a very difficult relationship he'd gotten out of. I endured hearing tales of his romantic and sexual escapades with other women, while I sat there crying my silent tears after hanging up the phone. I remember distinctly the night that all changed. He'd been out drinking with friends, and I was home alone for the weekend. I'd put the kids to bed and answered the phone, nearly dancing around the room like Liezel in The Sound of Music when they're out in the gazebo... We talked for a long time, then he said he needed to get sleep so we said goodbye. I drifted off a little, only to be startled awake by the phone again... He couldn't sleep, could only think about me, and it was driving him crazy. He claimed to have very deep feelings for me, and by now I knew how he hated the word "love" and had just come to the realization he would never feel that for me.That's when my life changed forever. He said "Randi, I LOVE YOU" and I, of course, said "Brentt, you're drunk." We went back and forth until he had me finally convinced that there might be something there in his heart for me, but I wouldn't be convinced until he showed me over time that it wasn't just a ploy to get me there with him to become his personal little sex toy. I'd had a man do that to me once before, and wasn't about to go through that kind of hell again with my family!
We had some issues with my husband trying to get between us after I admitted how I felt (and that the feelings were reciprocated), and didn't talk for a long while - mostly because I thought it was my little jealous streak that had turned him against me. Eventually, though, I couldn't go on with my guilt, I needed to be forgiven. So I found a way to ask him, and we talked and cried for hours. After that, for a few weeks at least, he was even MORE loving toward me. Offered to have me come out to where he was living to see him, left "possessive" comments on my pics "marking his territory," posting things I made with our names and pictures in hearts with song lyrics that so perfectly described our feelings... Publicly making me his own. I had a screen saver on my cell phone that read "Marine's Girl" so every time I'd look at my phone I'd think of him and smile!
Apparently all this was a Pharisee-like act. He was actually "seeing" someone "local." I was lining up everything I'd need to afford living on my own and supporting my kids so I could get a divorce and be with him - since it's all we talked about. Having children together, what we'd name them, where we've always wanted to live, what colors we wanted the wedding to be...
Do you see where this is leading? It's leading me on. It's drawing me into this fairy tale, and building a fantasy world around me with smoke and mirrors so he can quickly disappear like an illusionist to move on to the next girl. I have a feeling I know who he passed over for me, and can guarantee to the girl that comes after me he won't stop. 3 songs come to mind especially, though there are a few more I'll post lyrics for as well. Please, read these through. Maybe you'll learn a little more about me. Then read my last paragraphs about what I want, need, and deserve in a relationship before you even bother trying to seduce me.
"Best Days Of Your Life"
(Kellie Pickler)
'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind
From the day we met till you were making me cry
And it's just too bad you're already had the best days
The best days of your life
Ain't it a shame
A shame that every time you hear my name
Brought up in a casual conversation
You can't think straight?
And ain't it sad
You can forget about what we had
Take a look at her and do you like what you see
Or do you wish it was me?
I'll be there in the back of your mind
From the day we met to the very last night
And it's just too bad you've already had the best days
The best days of your life
And does she know
Know about the times you used to hold me
Wrapped me in your arms and how you told me
I'd be the only one?
I heard about
Yeah, someone told me once when you were out
She went a little crazy, ran her mouth about me
Ain't jealousy funny?
'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind
From the day we met to the very last night
And it's just too bad you've already had the best days
The best days of your
Life with me was a fairytale love
I was head over heels till you threw away us
And it's just too bad you've already had the best days
The best days of your life
I heard you're gonna get married, have a nice little family
Live out my dreams with someone new
But I've been told that a cheater is always a cheater
So I've got my pride and she's got you
'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind
From the day we met till you were making me cry
And it's just too bad you've already had the best days
The best days of your life
Of your life, oh, oh yeah
You're gonna think of me
You're gonna think of me in your life
Oh, oh yeah
It's a shame, it's a shame
it's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame
"Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You"
(Kellie Pickler)
I remember the way you made love to me
Like I was all you'd ever need
Did you change your mind
Well I didn't change mine
Now here I am trying to make sense of it all
We were best friends now we don't even talk
You broke my heart
Ripped my world apart
Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you
I can't get you out of my head
I still feel you in this bed
Left me all alone
You couldn't be more gone
From falling apart to fighting mad
From wanting you back to not giving a damn
I've felt it all
I've been to the wall
Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you
One day justice will come and find you
And I'll be right there in your memory to remind you
Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
I gave you everything, every part of me
"Undo It"
(Carrie Underwood)
I should have known by the way you passed me by
There was something in your eyes and it wasn't right
I should have walked, but I never had the chance
Everything got out of hand and I let it slide
Now I only have myself to blame
For falling for your stupid games
I wish my life could be
The way it was before I saw your face
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You had my heart, now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na, na
Now your photos don't have a picture frame
And I never say your name and I never will
And all your things, well I threw them in the trash
And I'm not even sad
Now you only have yourself to blame
For playing all those stupid games
You're always gonna be the same
And, oh no, you'll never change
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You had my heart, now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na, na
You want my future, you can't have it
I'm still trying to erase you from my past
I need you gone so fast
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You had my heart, now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
Boy you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
Thanks for reading those, I feel every word of them to my very soul. I feel the anger of "Undo It" combined with a little of her other song "Before He Cheats" - where she says "I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl, 'Cause the next time that he cheats, oh, you know it won't be on me..."
Lastly, I think you all deserve a little insight into me. I'm in my 30s, with 2 kids, and ADHD. I need structure, I need someone who is able to help me make decisions and not just bombard me with more questions. I need someone who is worthy of my trust, and will love, honor, cherish, and guide me while being careful not to disturb my delicate balance of what's left of my ego and what's left of my heart. I'll never understand why you think I'm even remotely attractive, I'll never get enough of hearing compliments, or having advances made on me to remind me of your love and desire. If these are given to me, by a patient, kind, loving man (who knows that the opposite is sometimes desired in the bedroom), I will likely worship the ground he walks on - and i'll finally be giving that attention to a man that deserves it!
I should have known by the way you passed me by
There was something in your eyes and it wasn't right
I should have walked but I never had the chance
Everything got out of hand and I let it slide
Now I only have myself to blame for falling for your stupid games
I wish my life could be the way it was before I saw your face
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You had my heart, now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy, you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na
Now your photos don't have a picture frame
And I never say your name and I never will
And all your things, well I threw them in the trash
And I'm not even sad
Now you only have yourself to blame for playing all those stupid games
You're always gonna be the same and, oh no, you'll never change
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You had my heart, now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy, you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na
You want my future, you can't have it
http://www.elyricsworld.com/undo_it_lyrics_carrie_underwood.html
I'm still trying to erase you from my past
I need you gone so fast
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You had my heart, now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy, you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took the lonely and took me for a ride
Boy, you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
" she replies.
He smiles at the thought of the lovely writer he'd met in an online chat room being so close to him, his body reacting favorably to her proximity as well.
"Want me to show you around?" he types, hoping she wasn't too busy.
Vic was a handsome sight himself - standing over six feet tall, his hair and eyes dark, with an infectious smile. His playful, silly nature making him quite an enjoyable person to be around as well. He began mentally making a list of fun things to do, wondering how long the auburn-haired beauty would be in town. He thought about Angel's curvy five-foot-seven frame, flashing green eyes framed by long dark lashes, and fair skin; her soft lips that just begged to be kissed... "Damn," he thought, "if I don't stop thinking this way, I'm going to have an embarrassing problem when I meet up with her!"
Angel was having similar fantasies, her mind racing with thoughts of finally meeting the man she'd enjoyed chatting with face-to-face. She looked again at her itinerary for the conference, then at the plane ticket dated to return home a week after its end.
"We meet every day from 10 until 4, and the conference ends on Thursday," she types back. Angel smiled at his reply indicating his regret at her leaving so soon. Waiting a few seconds, she types back,
"I never said I was leaving Thursday, I said that's when the conference ends I'm not leaving until next Sunday." Upon reading this, Vic was so ecstatic he jumps up from his desk shouting in joy. After asking what she was doing that evening for dinner, she replies that she was eating early with some other writers, but after about 7:00 she would be free. He agreed to pick her up at her hotel room shortly after 7, and it was her turn to dance around the room. She went into the conference that day on cloud nine.
All through the day, and dinner after, she could think of nothing but her date for the evening. She ate only a salad, as Vic promised to have a special dinner later on. She ran up to her hotel room to quickly shower, fix her hair, reapply her makeup and find something to wear. He'd told her to be casual, but she wanted to look nice so she donned khaki capris and a white blouse. She pulled her shoulder-length curls back on the sides, and slipped her feet into comfortable leather sandals. She had just enough time to brush her teeth before there was a knock on her door. She was just putting her earrings in as she opened the door and immediately met a strong, broad chest, her eyes traveling up to the handsome face she'd been waiting to see all day. Angel invited Vic in as she clasped her earring and then logged out of her laptop, closed it and bent over to pick up her purse.
Victor was in awe. He'd seen her pictures on her online profile, had even seen her on cam a couple of times when they were chatting, but had never anticipated her to be as lovely in person as she was! His eyes traveled up and down her body over and over, taking in every detail - from her soft curls to her jade eyes to the porcelain skin he longed to reach out and touch. He could control himself until Angel bent over to get her purse; his body reacting immediately - almost painfully. Vic stood there staring, his jaw slack and eyes glazed over until Angel turned around. She saw his expression and her eyes immediately traveled his body, noticing the noticeable bulge in his shorts below his dark green polo shirt. She smiled, licking her lips as she closed the distance between them. Angel gently, coyly, closed his jaw with one soft finger, then said quietly, "Victor, if we start something like that now, we'll never leave this room. Let's go out and enjoy ourselves - we have almost two weeks to explore each other." Vic agreed, his desire subsiding somewhat. He took the chance, however, to close the distance between their lips, both feeling the near-electric shock as their tongues began a slow, sensual dance. Wrapping her up in his long, muscular arms, the kiss lingered on and on. Finally prying loose from each other, they walked hand-in-hand through the halls and out of the hotel.
Opening the car door for her, Vic again silently thanks the powers that be for bringing this beautiful creature into his life, if only for two weeks. He climbs behind the wheel and starts the engine. "So where are we going, handsome?" Angel asks with a smile. He would never get used to a woman like her saying such things to him, and blushes furiously. She laughs, reaching over and taking his hand. This makes Vic blush even more, but he smiles and squeezes her hand telling her it's a surprise. They talk about various things as they drive, until he turns into a parking ramp. They walk to the street level, and start down the sidewalk. Soon, she realizes they are approaching Navy Pier. She gets more and more excited as they draw nearer to the attraction, and when Lou stops near the arched entrance and looks down into bright childlike green eyes, he nearly laughs at her barely-controlled joy. "I take it Navy Pier is an acceptable first date," Vic says, his own eyes smiling. Throwing her arms around his neck - what she could reach, at least, Angel affirms his choice of venue.
They walk toward the water in the beautiful summer air. They enjoy the view from atop the ferris wheel, as well as some more long, lingering kisses. Victor's hands roamed her body while they were out of view of the other ferris wheel patrons, but would still on a less-conspicuous spot when they came into view. He tempted her soft, full breasts with his large hands, teasing the nipples until they were hard and aching, Angel's breath coming fast and hard between kisses and she would moan softly against his lips. He could barely keep his hands off her gorgeous body, his own body receiving some tantalizing touches from her soft hands as she urged him to continue his sensual assault on her tingling flesh. Angel's hands ran over his broad chest, up his strong back, then she ran her fingers up the back of his neck and up into his hair. As it became apparent they were going to be stopping to let some patrons off, she let one hand slip down over his stomach, feeling his breath catch and a moan escape his lips as her fingertips ran down the length of his rock-hard and throbbing erection through his shorts. She purred softly as she enjoyed the feeling of his physical reaction to her, whispering in his ear, "Oh Vic, it's so hard. You want me really bad, don't you? I want you too, baby. I have an idea, if you're game..." He quickly let her know he would do anything if it meant he didn't have to wait any longer to have some relief from what she was making him feel. Grinning, Angel then informs him of her devious idea to go for a walk on the beach and find a nice, secluded place where she could give him what his body so craved. His eyes were on fire as their turn to exit the ferris wheel came. They got some knowing looks from other couples, and jealous looks from others, as they started walking toward the beach.
The amorous couple walk closely, hand-in-hand across the sand, watching the sunset on the water and growing ever more needy as they search carefully for a secluded place. They both see it at the same time: a boat rental building with one side up against a rock outcropping, and not a soul around for over a hundred yards in any direction. Vic's body starts to ache at the prospect. Their eyes blaze with desire as they look at each other and walk toward the perfect spot for their sunset rendezvous. Vic sits down on the sand, as he watches the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen dropping to her knees in front of him, then crawling toward him. His straining erection begged to be set free as her hands descend upon the bulge in his shorts. His head drops back, and a deep moan escapes his throat as Angel caresses up and down its length - then again as her fingers start to unbutton and unzip his shorts. She teases the hard, throbbing flesh through his boxers before tugging the waistband down and grazing her lips over Vic's swollen, sensitive balls. His hands wind themselves into her soft hair as he groans at the touch, and her tongue traveling up the aching shaft then taking his large erection in her mouth. She sucked on him until he could no longer hold back. He started to buck his hips, his fingers tightening in her hair, as he moaned over and over, "Oh god, Angel, you're making me cum." With a deep groan, he felt himself going over the edge. His hot, sticky cum shooting forcefully across her tongue as she milked every last drop from him, swallowing as fast as she could so as to not spill a drop. Finally it seemed to stop, and she pulled her lips from him, looking up almost sheepishly into his glowing hazel eyes. "I hope you didn't mind, Vic... I love doing that, and you seemed to need it so much..." Victor's response was to pull her up atop himself and kiss her lips deeply. "Angel, I've never, ever felt anything as wonderful as what you did to me just now. That was amazing! If that's any indication of what is to come the next two weeks, I just may fall in love with you..." Vic blushed furiously as he realized what he'd just said, then tried to save himself from the admission of feelings he'd just made. Angel let him think he'd made amends for moving so quickly and saying what he did, but she kept it in the back of her mind and thought it over during the evening - and the next two weeks - often.
Pulling back from the kiss, he looks deep into her eyes, saying, "What can I do for you? You were so wonderful, I'd love to return the favor..." But Angel replies softly, "I want to wait, because if I start this now, I will just want to keep going - and I want to fulfill all of my desires with you tonight," with a wink. Vic kisses her one last time, then redresses and they walk back toward the pier. He asks what kind of food she likes, and the first thing she replied was fresh seafood, so they decided on a restaurant there on the pier that specialized in shrimp and crabs. They talk, laugh, hold hands, and eat wonderful food. The sunset turns to dusk, then to darkness, as the lights of Navy Pier make them feel miles away from reality. They walk the shops, each buying some small souvenirs, until they get to a vendor at the end of the shopping row. Angel sees it immediately: a beautiful antique-looking silver ring with a freshwater pearl and lovely details. She tries it on and debates over the price, deciding she will wait until she was ready to leave to buy it - if she has enough spending money left. Angel told Vic she was going to stop at the ladies' room before they left the pier, since it was just across from where they stood. He agreed to meet her right there, but that he was going to go check on one thing in a shop while she was gone. They separate with a soft kiss, Angel to the restrooms and Vic back into the jewelry vendor's shop. The lady's eyes light up, and without a word from him, she took the ring Angel adored out of the case. He pulls out his credit card and asks the lady to wrap it for him. He leaves the store with a small wrapped box in his pocket that he hopes will help capture the heart of the woman he was quickly falling helplessly in love with.
Angel thinks about Victor, and her rapidly-increasing feelings for him, while in the restroom. Her mind whirls, remembering the evening and the way he'd looked at her. She knows that look, and while it scares her a little, she also knows her heart is growing ever-more fond of the tall, handsome man. She was falling for him, and falling fast. She had butterflies in the pit of her stomach, her heart raced, and she felt like a teenager again. She felt so comfortable with Vic, like she didn't have to pretend, or hide anything about herself. She felt so safe with him, even though she had just met him face to face hours before. His personality was so engaging, his excitement so contagious, that Angel felt completely caught up in the moment with him. "Whatever happens, happens," she thinks to herself, secretly hoping her feelings are reciprocated by him.
As Angel exits the restroom, she looks around and quickly sees Vic walking toward her from across the pier. His smile is immediate and he quickly slips an arm around her back, kissing the top of her head, and asking if she'd seen enough of Navy Pier for the evening or if there was anything else she wanted to do before they left. She sees a used book store and begs to stop in, her eyes looking up at him with such a sincere clarity that he is left almost breathless. He feels he's looking directly into her heart and soul at that moment, and is lost in love. His heart aches as he sees his own feelings mirrored in her eyes - and this small voice in his head says "she's the one, Victor, don't let her go." Wrapping his arm around her waist tighter - his other hand on the back of her neck - and not caring who was watching, he leans in and kisses her deeply, passionately, feeling again the electricity between their tongues as they stand in the middle of Navy Pier kissing like they would never see each other again. When he finally backs away from the kiss, his mind reeling from the intensity, her eyes were even more ablaze than before and he has to look away to keep from being drawn back against her addictive body and lips. He whispers in her ear, "let's go look at those books." Smiling broadly at her excited reaction, he lets her take hold of his hand and nearly pull him into the shop. She looks around in amazement, everything drawing her at once. The smell of the leather and old paper, the beautifully-kept antique volumes all calling to her. She scans the shelves, not sure what exactly she is hoping to find, but knowing she would find something. Her fingers cross the soft leather spines, barely scanning the titles, until one catches her eye. She pulls out a lovely, slightly-worn copy of poetry by Robert Frost. The aged pages are smooth and thin, showing it was well-read and well-loved by its previous owners. An inscription on the first page was barely-legible, in swooping feminine script dedicating the book from a woman named Alice to her true love Clare, dated 1946. Some poems had love notes attached, as if she went through and found the lines that meant something to the love-struck couple and marked them for him. Angel instantly felt attached to the book and the couple, and decides she has to have this book. The elderly shopkeeper sees her fascination, and comes up next to the young couple. Very softly, he says, "Now there's a special book for a special young lady," his eyes aglow. "My wife looked a lot like you when she was younger, and she loved Frost as well. I've paged through that one a few times here in the shop myself. It's a very good sampling of his works, and I think you'll enjoy it very much. It's not as old as some I have, isn't a first edition, and has been written in, so I think I should only charge you five dollars for it." Angel's eyes go wide with shock at the price. She saw the book as invaluable, and would expect to pay much, much more for it. Then she looks into the knowing eyes of the elderly man and wonders immediately if he is the Clare this book was inscribed to. In fact, she is almost certain of it.
Angel looks through the rest of the store, she and the elderly man talking rapidly and excitedly over some of the older books, the rare authors, and her own writing career. He suggests a few other volumes for inspiration in her writing and learning an engaging quality of storytelling they both agreed has been lost by recent authors. She decides to check out, and looks at the old man in disbelief when he asks for only fifteen dollars for the pile of books on the counter between them. "But these are worth hundreds, I can't take them for that price!" Angel said, offering the man at least $50. He won't budge from his price, so she pays him and leaves, the precious books in the colorful tote bag she'd purchased earlier. When she would open them later, she would find he'd inscribed one of them to her, "To Angel, who reminded me of my own angel I hope to see soon. May you never lose your inspiration, your creativity, your imagination, and infectious personality. You are one in a million and will be great someday. Just have faith! All my love, Clare"
Angel was in awe of the evening she'd had so far. She had wonderful books, a wonderful man, had eaten an amazing dinner with great conversation, and is thinking the evening couldn't get any better. They walk back toward the car, and as she puts her purchases in the trunk, Vic surprises her again. "Would you like to get something to drink before I take you back to your hotel?" "I'd love to, Vic. What do you have in mind?" He mentions a quiet little jazz club and she quickly agrees that would be wonderful. They get to the club, which is fairly quiet, and dimly-lit. He chooses a small booth in the back, pulling her into the seat with him, and holding her against him with one strong arm. They order their drinks, and listen to the soothing music as they wait for the waitress to bring their order. The couple cuddles, paying the young woman as she brings their beverages to the table. After they are finished, Victor reaches into his pocket and places the small, wrapped box on the table. When the music ends and Angel turns to him, she sees it and looks into his eyes quizzically. "What's this?" she asks as her fingers trace the edge of the box.
Vic's hands would have started trembling if he wasn't holding onto her shoulder and his own knee. He says softly, "Open it, Angel - it's a thank-you for letting me meet you and show you around." "You didn't have to do that. Thank you," Angel says, kissing his cheek softly, then turning her attention to the small, beautifully-wrapped box. She starts picking the paper apart and uncovers a small white jewelry box. Looking up at Vic questioningly, she opens it slowly. As the beautiful ring she'd been trying on earlier comes into view, Angel's eyes grew wide and she can hardly believe this is happening. She looks from the lovely pearl ring to the man sitting next to her, tears springing to her lovely green eyes. Vic sees them and immediately swipes them away, the words of his heart flooding out before he could think or stop them. "Angel, I just have to say you're the most amazing, beautiful woman I've ever met and I just had to give you something that would make you happy. If something more comes out of these next two weeks, then I would consider myself to be lucky that I'm worthy of your affection. Either way, I hope you will always remember the time we spent together every time you see this." By this time, he had slipped the ring on her hand and she was completely in awe of this wonderful, handsome man that had given her something so precious after only knowing her for such a short time. Angel turns to look into his hazel eyes and then, placing her hands on his face, she kisses him long and slow, making sure he knows exactly how she feels. When they pull apart, both decide it's time they should head back to the hotel. Vic pulls the car up, helps her in, and then drives back to the hotel.
They park the car and go inside the building. She stops at the front desk to check for messages and discovers their seminar the next day has been postponed due to the presenter being ill. She and Victor are ecstatic at the prospect of an entire day for sightseeing and having fun. He remembers the Cubs are playing a home game, and calls to check on tickets while Angel calls home to check on everything there, riding up the elevator to her room. They both hang up at the same time, and Vic tells her he's reserved two tickets for them at the game the next day. She's excited, as she'd never been to a Major League game before. Angel opens the door to her large, lovely room and invites him inside. She takes off her shoes, hangs her purse on a chair, then turns around quickly as she feels Vic's hands on her shoulders, then moving down her arms. After she turns to face him, his hands move to her back, his head dipping to brush his lips on hers then begin a long, slow, deep kiss. They both moan as their tongues dance and play, and their bodies revel in the realization that they don't have to stop for anything. The kiss grows and deepens, lingering on and on. Victor's hands begin to wander again, and he seems to touch every inch of her. Angel's hands aren't idle either, as she lets them learn every muscle and plane of his body. Eventually, her deft fingertips begin to travel under his shirt, and wander his back. Vic's breath catches in his throat as she touches his skin, and his own hands slip under her shirt as well. He soon learns that there isn't much room between her body and blouse, so he carefully moves to unbutton it, giving her ample time to object.
Angel doesn't object at all. In fact, she encourages him, moving her lips to his neck. His hands work the buttons free, exposing more and more of her creamy flesh to his eyes. He grows more excited by the second as her beautiful curves are unveiled. She pulls her shirt off, displaying her lovely white lace bra and soft, full, DDD breasts. Vic's eyes are large and full of desire as he lowers his head, kissing across her shoulder then down her chest. She works his shirt up as well, and he pulls it off, tossing it to the floor. She takes the opportunity to lower her hands to undo his pants. His hands quickly do the same, and he moves down with his hands,pulling her capris to her feet. Vic kneels down in front of Angel, lifting one long leg onto his shoulder then tugging her white satin and lace panties to the side so he can lick softly at her dripping wet satiny lips. Vic's nose treats him to her musky aroma as his tongue enjoys the sweet, tasty liquid that coated her sensitive area. His tongue slipped between her lips, traveling up and down the hot, moist flesh, eliciting moans of pleasure as Angel's hands gripped his head and hair for balance. His tongue slid up and flicks over the center of her desire and she cries out his name, flooding his tongue with more of her juices as her body quivered in orgasm quickly and powerfully. Vic was in heaven, pleasuring this beautiful woman, but he's in desperate need as well. He pulls his tall frame up, kisses her, and then pulls her to the bed and lies back. Her eyes travel his body and she climbs up next to him - as he asks her to pleasure him with her soft lips once again while he gives her even more pleasure with his own. Angel puts one knee on either side of his head, lowering herself down until his lips and tongue are once again teasing her. She moans, leaning down to run her tonguetip up and down the long, thick shaft. Vic groans at the sensation, a drop of clear fluid oozing out the tip of his throbbing erection. Angel runs her tongue around the tip, then over it, picking up the salty drop. Vic buries his face against her hot, wet pleasure center. He licks, and sucks, and buries his tongue deep inside her. Angel cries out, her lips lowering down his aching shaft. They pleasure each other until they can take no more. Victor has her lie in the center of the bed and climbs atop her, lowering himself against her soft body. His rock hard erection slips deeply inside her as they each moan the others' name and she wraps her long legs around his hips. They move against each other in urgent need just a short time before both cry out in orgasmic bliss, Vic's body shuddering as his balls empty into her. He is still incredibly hard, and has no intention of stopping their sensual endeavors. He moves inside her again, making her shiver in pleasure. He once again lays back on the bed, this time having her straddle his hips and lower herself down, watching her blissful expression as she begins to move slowly, deliberately, up and down the hard, throbbing cock inside her...
End of part 1, what does everyone think?Three friends married women from different parts of the Midwest.
The first man married a woman from Wisconsin. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Minnesota. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Iowa. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. But he still has some difficulty when he pees.
So I married the first guy I ever dated, my college sweetheart, in 2000. The last 5 or 6 years have been very trying for us, and I've grown up a lot, learned a lot about myself and what I want, need and deserve. 10 years ago, I was under the assumption NO man would EVER want to be with me, because I'd never been the "girlfriend" to the guys I knew, just a "girl friend" and I thought it was my lot in life! I was very naiive, VERY insecure, and found a guy that felt the same way about himself. The problem is, I grew up, and changed, and gained confidence in myself ... and he didn't. He knows he's good at his job, and is very confident in that respect - but in himself? no. I found a guy that made himself appear to be everything I wanted and needed and seduced me away from my husband for 6 months. I learned very quickly that I'd found another insecure mama's boy that was a total mooch, and came back home... That's when the real trouble started. I have lots of friends online, a lot of them guys, because that's what I'm used to: I was the only girl on my block as a kid, grew up on a farm working around guys, showed cattle, worked on tractors, drove a pickup truck, went hunting... you know - "guy things"! My husband now loathes any time I spend talking to these friends - regardless of their marital status or what I'm doing to help them (shoulder to cry on, girl trouble advice, doesn't matter - he hates them all for being my friends and having penises). I'm a scorpio, so I tend toward the secretive when attacked like that, just shutting down... He's even gotten violent toward me, more than he used to. He would maybe hold my wrists if I got mad, or stand in my way to keep me from leaving a room, fighting me back when I tried to get past him, or pull me out of the car if I was going to leave to get away for a while... he's progressed to the point he'll now just hit me, throw things at me, and leave bruises. He'll do this in front of our kids, has even hit me in front of my parents (who said I was the one overreacting...)!
Now go vote on my MUMM!
