2006 was a very difficult year for me. I went to see my grandmother, who was sick and was being cared for by a caretaker, my father and hospice, down in California. My grand mother 2 yrs ago found out she had bladder cancer no one knows why or how or will tell me why. I knew my grandma was sick because when I went down there 2 yrs ago, I knew she had reconstructive bladder surgery. Well I had been talking to my granny knowing she was sick and told her I was going to come as soon as I could that I need to buy my car and I would come to see her. Well I went and it took I swear like 14 hrs when it should have taken longer. my kids, b/f and I went. We got to talking and knowing my grandma knew she wasn't up for a chat! Lol. I stayed for 2 wks saw all my relatives and came home...
Not less then 3 weeks after we left, my granny passed away, day before mothers day. I found out I was pregnant just before I left California. I was terrified because all I could do was think of how much I loved her and knew that I should have been there. Well as it turned out my father- her son- didn't have access to her accounts. Her escro accounts were as he said, "frozen." Well I wanted to go to the furneral but knew I couldn't take the time off and I was going to do my best to find a way.
My father said he was going to see what he could do and nothing ever came of it. To this day I am upset about it. Well I went back to work, the one place I couldn't stand. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. My granny raised me for 6 yrs. How could I go on now? The one person who taught me to be a lady, to cook, to sew, to do all the things no one else ever would.
A few weeks after my granny's passing my father calls and says things about her about us and my kids and how he was going to go for a vacation and other things. See he cheated my family. All of us were not in the will anymore. He stole everything so he could get what he wanted. My father and my aunt were supposed to have everything 50 50. Only he changed everything. Now he's disowned my aunt and her children and basically me too. I guess whatever. I still talk to my aunt and cousins and their family. I haven't heard from him verbaly since June.
In August I lost my baby his name was William after my mom's dad. He was very beautiful. He was due on my granny's b-day. I couldn't have lost another baby this was my second child I lost. in the same month within a year. In July I quit my job 3 days after my b-day. Couldn't do it anymore. Figured if they didn't was to follow the doc's note then I was done.
So now I was on a mission... I filed for unemployment from the job they said I couldn't have it cuz I quit. I told unemployment that the reason I quite was bcuz I was haveing medical complcations and that they weren't helping me. Long story short on that I won got unemployment and ha mother fuckin ha.
Then in September my mom tell's me she had to find another job cuz the building she worked out of was closing. Not the company but the building. So she looked for jobs but none that would pay her the same as she was making. She ended up moving to ID. Great so I am alone now right. Wrong the only people in the same state as me that's family is my kids! I have never been this far apart from anyone my entire life.
In November I had my t-day and invited my neighbors had a good time.
X-Mas came and look I couldn't feel worse I miss all my family and I really esentially have no one. I have my b/f and his 'rents so I have some love.
Peace love and Chicken Grease!
I still have hope just no faith anymore love me for who I am not for the faults I've made!
