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There was a young fellow from sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean He’d fart "God save the Queen,"
And Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
He could vary, with proper persuasion.
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute,
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic caucasian.
This sparkling young fella from sparta,
His fart for no money would barter.
He could roar from his rear
Any scene from shakespear,
Or Gilbert and Sullivan Mikado.
Nobody could play the classics finer,
As he showed me one day at the diner,
I had a bagel with lox
While he played from his buttox:
Chopin’s Etude #12 in C-minor.
He’d fart a gavotte for starter,
And fizzle a fine serenata.
He could play from his anus
The Coriolanus:
Oof, boom, er-tum, tootle, yum tah-dah!
He was great in the Christmas Cantana,
He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
He’d boom from his ass, Bach’s B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Triviata
Spurred on by a very high wager,
With an envious German named Bager,
He’d proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of Haydn Octet in B-Major.
His reportoire ranged from classic to jazz,
He achieved new effects with bubbles of gas.
With a good dose of salts
He could whistle a waltz
Or swiling it in razzamatazz.
His basso profound with timbre so rare,
He rendered quite often with power to spare.
But his great work of art,
His fortissimo fart,
He saved the Marche Militaire.
One day he was dared to perform
The William Tell Overture Storm,
But naught could dishearten
Our spirited Spartan,
For fart was in wonderful form.
It went off with capital style,
And he farted it through with a smile,
Then, feeling quite jolly, he tried the finale,
Blowing double-stop farts all the while.
The selection was tough I admit.
But it did not dismay him one bit,
Then, with his ass thrown aloft
He suddenly coughed.....
And collapsed in a shower of shit.
His bunghole was blown back to sparta,
Where they buried they rest of our farter,
With a gravestone of turds inscribed with the words:
"To the Fine Art of Farting, A Martyr."
