My thoughts for today can be summed up by quoting Shakespeare's The Tempest...
Miranda: I do not know one of my sex;
no woman's face remember,
save from my glass, mine own,
nor have I seen more that I may call men than you, good friend,
and my dear father: how features are abroad,
I am skill-less of but by my modesty-
the jewel in my dower-
I would not wish any companion in the world but you;
nor can imagination form a shape,
besides yourself, to like of...
Miranda: Sweet lord, you play me false.
Ferdinand: No, my dearest love. I would not for the world.
Miranda: Yes for a score of kingdoms you should wrangle,
and I would call it fair play.
I wonder sometimes at the foolishness of people who would say there is no such thing as true love. Who are you to tell others what they feel? Do you truly have the right to tell others what it is they feel? I myself would not even think to question another's emotions. They are their own to question as I daily question my own. But there are times , I'm certain, that even your own emotions are unknown or unfamiliar to you, perhaps even frightening. And these are the times when you should consult others.
Trust is the basis of everything. No one can live happily without trusting at least themselves...if not someone else. Faith is about believing in something even if you cannot see it with your own eyes...it's about trusting in something.
Hell...Even I have found things to store my faith in.
I have faith that tomorrow my mother will be the same manipulative, prying, controlling cunt that she is today and was yesterday (although that's not to say I don't love her). I have faith that life is a gift and you should do every good thing with that gift that you can. I have faith that, although I see others run red lights and not get pulled over, the second I decided to run one a frigging cop would come out of nowhere...shit, it'll be like he popped out of my trunk.I have faith that no matter how hard I try nothing will work out just the way I plan it. I have faith that tonight I'm going to pack my last bowl of weed and smoke myself retarded because I need to escape all the mistrust and pain that surrounds me.
So many people I meet have been betrayed to the point that they trust no one. I say you can't live happily in this manner. You will never have a relationship like this. If you start out not trusting someone until they prove they can be trusted you will never be giving them the chance to prove anything. I try to live my life by this one precept: Trust everyone you meet until they prove they can't be trusted.
I have, by living this way, found a few people whom I trust more than I even trust myself. People who could juggle knives while I lay on the floor between their feet and I wouldn't flinch. People who could stand beneath a second story window and tell me that if I jump they will catch me and I wouldn't hesitate to take that flying leap.
Many of you scoff at this or perhaps say it's foolish. My faith in these people extends to being able to trust them with my life and to me that's ultimate freedom.
On that note...I think it's time for me to pop open one more root beer, light this bowl I'm drooling over, and escape for the night. Maybe tomorrow will look brighter. In fact...I have FAITH that it will.
