942607's blog: "a look into my mind"

You say you want your life to be interesting.You have a certain amount of benevolenceWhen you compare your life to others.What may seem interesting to you, May be agony for some.You say your life is weary.You yearn for animation.Our issues and encounters is what makes us all unparalled.Just be glad you breathe.

Wanna glimpse into my mind? Current mood: numb Why doe's it hurt so bad? Why does it hurt so much? Why, am I the one suffering? But then,I stop! To think...It's not a curse. It's a blessing. It's not a disease-It's the cure! For everyone I look at, there's a thousand I don't see! My darkened mind will never change, just as none of them see me! The Darkness has got a hold of me, and it won't let go!And this will never happen just as they don't know! Now that I know the answer, I no longer ask you "why?"! Now I'm always laughing, nevermore to cry! Instead I give up to the night, to lead the life of pain and cold. To tell the tales about the dark, that has me in it's hold! Angel of death, come to me here. For sweet death I can feel is near. Destroy my spirit, burn my soul. Avenge my death, turn my body to coal. And as the children laugh, and as the children play. Let them know no fear. For the icy fingers of death, I can feel are near. My fears, my dreams, my hopes, they are what make me. But they are not always as they seem to be. I am let down time after time as my fears become reality, my dreams are shattered & my hopes were never there. My fear of rejection, of being alone is beneath the surface waiting to come forth. My dreams of a perfect life of having it all become nonexistent when I take my first step and proceed to fall. Why does life seem to have a way of letting you down each and every day? I want some answers, to help me out so my dream, my fears, and my hopes may come about!

more random crazy thoughts that go through my head!!!!!! Current mood: crazy Seven random facts about me..... 1.My biggest fear is having everything I want,but ending up alone. 2.Whenever I am doing something,pouring coffee, waiting for someone to answer the phone, or even looking for mushrooms in the woods, I am always counting numbers in my head until I finish what it is that I started. What am I doing? And also trying to guess how long it will take me before I accomplish my task, this is really frustrating for me because I can't stop doing it! 3.Sometimes I wish I could stay in my dreams, or maybe it has allready happened...but this too has become a nightmare lately. 4.I am too impulsive, I sometimes live like there's no tomorrow, and then pay the price later,but I can't seem to help mysself, Damn it I want it now! 5.I trive on perfection and success, and am climbing back into the seat again, this time, I won't slow down, it's alll or nothing, and I would rather and I would rather share the all, than the "nohing". 6. My most serious mental issue is that I thought I had to keeep everyone happy, or solve all their problems, I know this doesn't work, hell, I can't even seem to fix my own lately. 7. I care more about animals than I do people, animals are true in their actions and people aren't always true, and that includes myself sometimes as well.

more random crazy thoughts that go through my head!!!!!! Current mood: crazy Seven random facts about me..... 1.My biggest fear is having everything I want,but ending up alone. 2.Whenever I am doing something,pouring coffee, waiting for someone to answer the phone, or even looking for mushrooms in the woods, I am always counting numbers in my head until I finish what it is that I started. What am I doing? And also trying to guess how long it will take me before I accomplish my task, this is really frustrating for me because I can't stop doing it! 3.Sometimes I wish I could stay in my dreams, or maybe it has allready happened...but this too has become a nightmare lately. 4.I am too impulsive, I sometimes live like there's no tomorrow, and then pay the price later,but I can't seem to help mysself, Damn it I want it now! 5.I trive on perfection and success, and am climbing back into the seat again, this time, I won't slow down, it's alll or nothing, and I would rather and I would rather share the all, than the "nohing". 6. My most serious mental issue is that I thought I had to keeep everyone happy, or solve all their problems, I know this doesn't work, hell, I can't even seem to fix my own lately. 7. I care more about animals than I do people, animals are true in their actions and people aren't always true, and that includes myself sometimes as well.

All Alone in my Bed I admit I'm a shallow human-being I only answered your call, to see how far it could go every night I put on a smile, I changed inside yet, you knew me through all the plastic you knew I was afraid, of falling for you you knew I put on this show, to hide from anything true I pretend, and pretend I am someone else through all the fake smiles, and friends that have come and gone you stayed for awhile but not for long you showed me love, then you just left I was a feather in the breeze, caught in a whirlwind now I'm lost in my head lost in my dreams sitting in my room, writing my feelings I can't explain them, they just come I can't define in any world what you have done you look at me sometimes we both know the love we once shared is too much to ignore I have my friends, I have enough but all I really need is your sweet love I can't eat, I can only think my chest is caving in, and I can't sleep I cry everytime I hear your romantic voice in my head I die everytime I remember the night you left me alone all alone in my bed

Breeze flows by Whispering words into my ear Numbness grips my soul and the Scarry heart skips a beat The Sun setting down the prairies Signals the end When will you come back to me I am shattered and broken The Flowers have died my tears have dried These wounds will never heal unless you touch me Even in a stone Lies a heart Soft enough to pardon Believe me my love, I am shattered and Broken

emptiness Current mood: lonely Emptiness creeps over me. Day by day, night by night. It seems I'll never wake from this nightmare. Life drones on in patterns, never ending. In my dreams I see you- Your infamous smile that only I understand. Hope? I once knew of this, but with every mile between us it was ripped further from my mind. Oh, how I miss you! I see you everywhere. Not your face; I see your heart. A shining star bears your enthusiasm. A single rose, the most beautiful on the bush, stands alone. In a pool of water I see your inner peace and serenity. I remember the calm that you bring into my life. I long to dive in and swim deeper, deeper. Forever immersed, never having to think. Just feel. To know I'm yours. Without you I feel as if I'm trapped in a whirlpool. Life spins around me while I lie helpless on this bed of thorns. The light from where you used to be dims. Day by day, night by night, I fall deeper into shadow.