Bras and Happy Little Trees
Ok, so I finally found a bra that fits me today. I normally get my bras at Wal-Mart, for the conveinience part, mainly. But They never have the correct size.. And plus, I'm built funny. When most women gain weight, they gain some fat in their breast and they go all floppy and elongated.. Mine never did that, I may have gained a bit, but not that much. Well, plus sized bras have plus sized cups that seem to scrape all the extra stuff over into the cup.... When I put one on, I look like a 12 year old trying on one of mommies bras. And the regular sized bras, the band is too small, I need a 42 and most only go up to 38 or 40.. Now, I can get into a 40 ok.. But for some reason Wal-Marts bras are sized funny, the D cups only go up to 38 while the C cups go up to 40.. I'm a small D myself and so I've been getting the 40 C and they fit ok.. Not great, but ok. Well today I decided to go to Victorias Secret to buy a good bra. SO I go to the mall.. The place where Victorias secret normally was is now a GAP. So I walk to the other end of the mall and see where they are building a Victorias Secret... Hmmmm... It does me no good closed, so I look at the sign and discover that the temporary store is yet.... wait for it! On the other side of the mall!!! So, yet again I walk to the other side, a mid a crowd of people so decked out in Bama logos it's almost as if there was no person amonst the walking logos. A side story here, I hear that Auburn fans aren't this bad. For some reason a Bama fan acts as if his/her mind has been reprogrammed to buy whatever cheesy crap they slap a Bama logo on.. Honestly! The crap I see these people with! It's like "Uhh duuuhhh, George... They have some of them there condoms with Alabama printed on 'em.. Shoot! We better get some cuz if we don't buy 'em.. People won't think we'es fans!" Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the college or it's students or alumni. But it's football fans suck! They suck big floppy donkey dicks! Especially the Outlanders (Bama fans from other parts of the state/country) They come over here and act like they own this fucking city!! I was walking my dogs in that grassy area near the parking lot across from the Amsouth building and this jack ass, decked all in Bama, gets up from his Bama chair, under his Bama tent, in front of his Bama painted RV, with it's Bama flags and it's Bama stickers, he comes up to me asking if I was going to let the dogs use the bathroom in the grass.. I told him I didn't see what business it was of his. He tells me that their kids (judgeing from this guys age, they weren't his kids but the RV communities kids) play out here. I told him that you all can take your kids home and let them play in their own yard as this is my town, I live in this town and you, sir, don't!. He started to puff up at me and I kept talking "You just don't realize what a nuisance you all are! Crowding up the city for days before a game.. And what's with you people swimming in the Black Warrior River?.. Ummm ewww. If you live your life to the tune of a football game, you need to get another life!".. I turned and walked off, but not without letting Lulu, one of the dogs take a dump in the grass.
Anyways, back to the bra story. I get to Victorias Secret and am told by a young woman who though putting on flase eyelashes and then coating them many times with mascara untill they were all clumpy that their band sizes only go up to a 38 and that I'd have to go to Lane Bryant to find my size.. So I went to Lane Bryant, thinming that they'd just have the oversized BBW(Big Beauitful Women) bras.. I tried on a few and found one that fits right! The band isn't too small nor the cup too big!! Mind you I had to pay 35$ a peice for these properly fitting bras. But I think it was worth it. My boobs look bigger! And these were not padded bras! They just make the most out of what I have! It's so cool!
And now you're wondering about the Happy Little Trees.. Surely you know who Bob Ross was? He was that Hippy painter who could paint a whole scene in 30 minutes! All the while painting Happy Little Trees.. He always acted like he had been smoking Happy Little Trees. Here Bob, here's a visit from the Happy DEA!! Ooooh! You get a Happy Little Strip Search!
