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Memories upon the Wind
I have bitter sweet memories as I weep within the howling wind of sorrow.
How he touched my heart in ways that leaves me breathless?
I have tears falling like rain drops to keep from other’s seeing how much I miss him.
Why did he just walk away from me?
Could he not just take the time to pause and listen to what I was there in the wind about my undying love for him?
Here I am…alone with memories upon the flowing wind that keeps me weak, yet strong because I loved him more than he realized, now…
Did I forget to love more and more each time I could had?
Should I spoke what was deep within my heart and soul?
I have memories of his laughter to my nonsense jokes that never really was funny at all, but still he laughed at them.
How long will it take my mind to forget his touch upon my trembling flesh?
Will my lips ever stop wanting his lips upon mine?
Why did I not stop him from walking out on my love for him?
Time and time again, I stand here within this house we shared as couple; I still can hear his haunting voice calling out my name.
How many times do I have to break down before I can let go of him?
His body was mine to hold and touch, but now.
I have nothing but my bitter sweet memories trembling upon the wind within my mind.
How do I let go of him, when he is all I need and desire?
Sleepless nights are consuming me now, as I pace the floors endless without him.
Each time the phone rings, I pray it’s him, but when I answer, how my heart and soul breaks apart because reality is….
He will never be within my reach or arms ever again.
Why did I let him go, when I knew he would never come back to me?
Now...
I am here in this big house with our cat and two dogs regretting how I let me go.
Do our pets feel my pain too?
My memories come rolling upon like a tidal wave of emotion that I will never be free from.
Does he know my heart is lost?
Does he feel my pain with the depth of soul that is no longer whole, since he left me?
I fall to my knees.
I ball up my hands and beat upon the floor to my hidden pain that I can’t show in front of his family and mine, since he left me here alone to carry on.
Part of me feel and knows he is here with me, even when I’m falling apart.
Does his hands reach to me to comfort me, if so why can’t I feel them now?
Is his heart breaking each time, he reminds what we had together?
If so, god…
Please don’t let these memories upon the wind stop flowing because he has to remain alive, until the day…
We can once again be together.
Here I am lost and yearning to touch him, but I know…
One day soon, he and I will be together, so I pick up the shatter pieces of our lives and carry on.
I will never allow his memories to stop flowing upon the wind within my mind.
©2010 Firestar
