Awrite ppl,i'm Geo C from the southside of Glasgow, i'm 39 and single ( so any single burds feel free tae msg me )

Well I'm an emotionally unstable alcoholic with a penchant for crack whores, mail order bride websites and touching myself at night.

Sometimes I enjoy relaxing by playing Simon Says with some quadriplegics but they get fed up coz i always win. When I want to do something productive I reach for a crowbar and beat myself relentlessly around the head until unconsciousness occurs.

I won't call you "miss", hold a door open for you or give you sympathy - you're a big girl, put the seat down yourself. If people accuse me of being sexist, I can rest assured in my mind that I am, indeed, the sexiest sexist.

So if you ever feel like being handcuffed to a rusty old dog of a thing (and I'm not talking about cars here) give me a shout and I'll set you up within three working days, deposit necessary and no money back guarantee.