You know your to horny when .........................
1) A hoover seems like the best option for a blow job.
2) You try to use quagmires ideas to get laid.
3) When a hot dog bun just has to do.
4)when your grandma looks pretty damg good in her housecoat.
5) You get a hard on when the dog licks your hand.
6) You hit on chicks in divorse court.
7) You get a job at a funral parlor to get laid.
8) You shop at ann summers for your newly purchased sheep.
9) Your cat buys you an inflatible doll so u leave it alone.
10) The ladynext door no longer leave pies on her window sill to cool.
11) All your wrinkles have diserpared
12) The crack of dawn look good.
13)you wank off to an episode of the golden girls.
14)When your dog hides from you.
15) Your pharmacy is out of ky jelly and suggests you buy stock.
16) When your right arm is bigger than yer left.
17) Watching reruns of rosanne gets you hard.
18)When the highlight of your day is turning the washer on fast spin.
19) The skin on your hands are the softess around coz all the vaseline you use.
20) You need 7 computers to store all your porn.
21) when you wake up in the morning all wet and sticky from the waist down.
22)When the pizza boy wont deliver to your house.
23) Your mobile is always dead coz of the vibrate feature.
24)Looking at a box of klenex turns you on.
25) Both wrists have carpul tunnel syndrome and you r only 25.
26) You think marge simpson is one sexy lady.
27) You see a pic of whoopie goldberg and get a hard on.
28) The 400 pound girl in the grocery store starts to look pretty dam fine.
29)You wish the hooker walking by your work would come in and give you a freebie.
30) When u see a bunny you think playboy.
31) You are happy the bananas are still green.
32) When you leave dirty messages on your own ansering machine.
33) Just hearin the word wood makes you hard.
34) You try and open the door but your hand wont move of the nob.
35) When you go to sexahlism anon meeting to get laid.
36)When you scratch your balls to releve an ich and come all over your arm.
37)Your fav socks are crusty.
38)When you no longer have batteries in your kids toys.
39) When A&E start charging you to remove hoover attachments.
40) If you got a penis.
