harmonyrs1013's blog: ""you can sew your lips shut with your heartstrings..."

They say it takes time that you can turn on a dime Am I ready for my life to be rearranged? It has been so deranged Can I handle that change? It's only a matter of time before I make that turn on a dime before the uphill climb ends I guess it just depends on whether or not I will be ready and be able to keep steady Only time will tell just how well I handle the change of my life being rearranged

It started out as a friendship but I wanted so much more And now that we are together Life seems better than before The time we had together as friends Are faded memories The future starts our new romance Our destinies agree I'll still be here to care for you And help you when your down You can come to me for anything I'll always be around But now I can embrace you And kiss you tenderly I hear you whisper words of love I never thought it could be.

Why did you hurt me You just couldn't let me be Why would you do this Hurt me with your fist If this was supposed to be true love And no one else above Then why would you do this Hurt me with your fist I did nothing wrong Yet you made me feel like I didn't belong All that time You made me feel like I commited a crime If you ever truly loved me you would have just let me be Was it a joke? I never meant to provoke I guess I was never to find out What you were really all about I am sorry I didn't mean to make you worry Was I gone to long? I know I don't belong I don't undersatnd How you can think your a man After all these years I still shed tears You were my worst fear But now my life has shifted gears On to new things with hopes they do bring To be in this happy place going at my own pace no more worries no more fears Oh how my life has shifted gears To turn the world on its ear So long beacause I do belong!

How do you change that between two people. If you are uncomfortable being around some one but they are friends with your friends what do you do? I have problems warming up to people this much I know. It takes me a while to get to know someone before I can be comfortable around them. Now this isn't always the case. There has been a few instances when I met some one and was immediately comfortable with them. It doesn't happen often but when it does it is great. In my current situation I am not comfortable around one of my friends friends and I feel bad cause this person seems to be nice and wants to be friends with me or maybe more who knows but I am just not feeling good about it. I hate this feeling of dread I get with letting people in. I can't trust people right away. I don't function that way. Here is a verse and chorus to my new favorite song (of course it is from a local band hahaha): I have been down this road before but the feeling isn't quite the same enticing me to go and follow you the motives in concrete disguise deception at its early state this barrier will not be broken down how can I know if this is sincere and true closing my eyes I have been so blind pursuing without a clue when I awake from from this demise somehow I feel it won't change my way I just won't let you in never again!! ~~~ Let You In, (un)SAID Being as hurt as I have been in my past I feel this song!! I am sure one if not all of those guys have been a through a world of hurt in order to write lyrics like this! I have a 12ft thick wall around my heart, mind and soul at all times and it takes a lot for me to allow anyone to peak around it and see what it is that I have to offer. You can't force it as much as you might try but if I am uncomfortable to begin with you have to work twice as hard. I hate having these issues but I am trying to get past them. I don't know if I can now or ever but if and when that day comes then I know I and the one I am with will be truely happy. I cannot be forced to like people or be comfortable around them it has to come naturally and sometimes it just take time. I think this is one of those times. I could use a little advice though, maybe one of you could help me?

Dreamland been there first hand so ill to be sitting still thought I could move forward only to be knocked backwards wanted to do something with my life probably should have thought twice will I ever leave this dreamland and experience life first hand?

The Darkness Is becoming less Who would have guessed That at the end of her plight This girl finally sees the light Without even trying She has stopped crying Ceased is all the lying She no longer feels Like she is dying on the inside She no longer is in a bind Feels like she is losing her mind For the Darkness Is becoming less

Time to make choices Listen to those voices walking on eggshells being put through hell I know she is not well but it's not my fault it is like I am being caught between heaven and hell just because she isn't well if you only knew how fast she blows up at everything only very few times does she not become so hot under the collar so why do I bother because she is my mother and I do love her but I don't know how much more I can take I think we need to take a break from each other I know it is the chemo talking but it is so hard to constantly be walking on eggshells and being in hell I think it is time to listen to those voices and makes some choices

The kiss was nice I would have liked to have done it twice but I am to shy so I let it go by will I have another chance or even a second glance?

Sacrifices of my own devices Will it take my life? Be the cause of my strife? Tomorrow, will I still be alive just trying to survive or will I take a dive I guess it all depends on if I can make amends with all these sacrifices of my own devices.

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.. 2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry. 3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart. 5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them 6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. 9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around.. 12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you. 13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Just some things to think about!!