Roger2786's blog: "Workings of an imperfect mind"

I'm not a big fan of day-time television and even less of a talk-show watcher, but I had the TV on this morning and saw that James Taylor was going to be on "Ellen". I thought...damn...he's gotta be like 112 years old by now, I wonder how he's holding up...well, I sat through the beginning of the show, pouring coffee down my neck and waiting for the "good part". Ellen did an intro for him and talked about 50 years in the business, and I thought, damn, him and I are both old, so I lit a smoke and sat back... Mr. Taylor sat on a stool and brike into the song "Sweet Baby James", and for three and a half minutes, I was young again. The song was straight from my teens and that's just where it took me today. I could smell the cloud of "70's smoke" and I could hear the sounds of friends past echoing in my head. I remembered the feeling of hope in my heart, for myself and for the future. James Taylor my be 112 years old, but he hasn't lost a step or a note, he was crystal clear and he cut straight into my soul. As he finished the song, it was all I could do to keep drom standing up in my living room and clapping. Thank you, Mr. Taylor, for the journey into my youth and for reminding me that, sometimes it's ok to be mellow. My point in all of this, if there is one, is to say that my guess is that everyone has a song like that burried somewhere inside of them... Dig it up and give it a listen, it will do wonders for you, your outlook, and your soul. Have a good day and thanks for reading this.

My Dad died in 1989. This is important for many reasons, but for this post, it's important because the day he died, my mother was in having her left breast removed due to cancer. If anyone would have had any idea that he was going to die that day, I'm sure she would have put off what she was having done. She was like that, always putting off what was important to her for the sake of anyone that happened to need her for anything. I know this to be true, because there were five of us kids that always needed something, and she always managed to find the time and the energy to take care of everything thrown at her. This was an amazing feat, not just because five kids are a handful, but because she also worked full-time in an General Motors iron pouring foundry. She was thrown into that situation in 1962, right after my father had his first heart-attack. He wasn't expected to live over 6 months, so she did what she had to do, and became one of the very first women hired at that place. It never even seemed to slow her down. She was always there for baseball games, plays, and the countless other things that five kids get themselves into. She was there as I got married, had a daughter, got divorced, and in general, lived life. That's when 1989 came along. She found a small lump and had it tested. they said it couldn't wait to be removed. Dad had been feeling poorly, but that wasn't unusal for the way things had been going, so she scheduled the surgery. He died while she was in recovery. Not only did she have to be told that her husband was now gone, she had to be told that the surgey did not go well and she was probably going to have more trouble. In a true mother's fashion, she held her head as high as she could and told everyone that she would be leaving the hospital the next morning. Of course, the doctor sdaid that there was no way this could be done, and at that point she told him that there was no choice, she was not going to make her kids plan a funeral for their father, that was something she needed to do herself. Sure as can be, the next morning, full of medication, she crawled out of that bed and went with us to plan a funeral. We tried talking her out of it, but she wouldn't hear any of it. That's when I got a clue as to what it means to be a mother.. After the funeral and a few days of recoverey time, I offerd to move her to where I was living so she wouldn't have to be alone in that big old house. She smiled and told me that she raised her family and lived her life in that house, and there was no way in hell she was moving out of it. She would stay there with her memories. That's when I learned how a mother thinks. Being the only single kid, the rest of the family got together and asked if I could move back and watch over her. There was never any doubt, I did as I had learned, I sold my piece of the business I owned, dumped my house and moved back to where I was needed. For the next four years I was taught what it means to be strong. She continued taking her chemo and all that medication, but nothing helped and she got slowly worse as the cancer spread to various parts of her body. It came to the point that we had to put a baby-monotor system in our rooms in case she needed anything during the night. Sometimes she would forget that it was there and I would hear her praying in the middle of the night, not for herself, but praying that God would watch over her kids after he called her home. Then I would listen as she told him that she was more than ready, the pain was more than she could stand, and she was just to sick to go on. Then the morning would come and she would do her best to carry on like she was on top of the world..She didn't know I knew her real feelings, and I think it was better that way. I know it was for her. She would have never said a word if she had thought it might upset any of her kids... On March 20, 1993, she woke up and didn't know who I was. She was sick and she was scared and there was nothing anyone could do. We got her to the hospital and after some checking, the doctors told us that it wouldn't be long...her liver was failing and her brain was in a pretty bad shape. She lived through the day and into the night, but at around 1:00 am. her liver gave out and she passed away. We had all seen it coming for a while, but the rest of the family was sad. I was sad too, but I also felt such a great joy that there would be no more pain for her, and no more hiding her feelings from her kids. You see, I learned that that's what mother's do. They do whatever it takes and whatever is needed to get through another day. If there is any point to all of this rambling, I guess it would be to tell each and every one of you to hold your mother dearly and to cherish every memory you have. While times are good and when they are rough, for no matter what happens in life, your mother will be the one that loves you and protects you, no matter what the cost is to her, and the lessons you learn from her will be with you for the rest of your life. If you're a mother, hug your kids, live your life the best you can, because you never know what lessons your child will carry away with them.

Today I want to talk about something I don't understand. Some would argue that I do that all the time, and in this case they would be right. I get the idea of Jerry Lewis and his telethon, and God bless him for doing it for all these years, but here's what I don't understand. If he can come on TV and collect millions of dollars every year, from regular people and corprate sponsers, why isn't someone doing the same thing to try to find an end to cancer. I won't bore you with facts and figures, we all know how horrible this disease is. It strikes everyone from small children to the older generation, it comes in too many forms to even keep track of at times. So, why is it that nobody has stepped up to start a telethon for this killer of the masses? We seem to be ok with the idea that body parts have become disposable. Cut off a breast and hope for the best is not my idea of the way Americe should be treating this murderer of young and old, man and woman, black and white, and every other color there is. It seems like once a month that someone is telling us that another "something" causes cancer. Well, if they can find all of these things that cause it, why can't they find something that stops it. Pumping the body full of things that can make you just as sick, and in some cases dead, is not something we should be willing to stand around and call "treatment". I have watched this disease claim both family and friends of mine, and I just have to wonder why we aren't willing to do more. I suppose that if we pulled at the heart-strings of America, and showed the kids suffering, maybe we could generate enough interest to get something done. Like I said...it's something I don't understand.

There's a radio station I listen to. Good rock and roll, funny, and quite well done. They have a place on the web site called hot chicks on toilets. This struck me as sort of odd, so, being the twisted sort of guy that I am, I had to check it out. It seems the whole idea of this thing is to get a pic of your girlfriend, wife, or whoever, sitting on the crapper. Some are posed and some are caught by suprise. Common sence and good taste dictates that there are no "naughty bits" showing in these pictures, and the point of the whole thing is to have people rate the woman perched on the throne. I tend to believe that what makes a person beautiful, or for that matter, ugly, comes from who they are and how they live their life...not what they happen to look like. In any case, as I clicked through the pics and did the rating, I womdered what sort of woman would agree to this sort of thing. Then it struck me that what each of these women have in common is a great sence of humor. To be in that position in a picture and tell your partner, sure send it in, rate me, shows me that each of these women are cool beyond words. I hope someday I find a woman that cool and with that good of a sence of humor. I also learned something about myself. I like hot chicks on toilets....LMFAO.

I've been hanging around here a while now, so I suppose I should start one of these things. I'm easily addicted to crap like this, so who the hell knows where this might lead. I tend to be a bit warped and or twisted, so ya never know what might make it's way into this thing, but you can bet that if it's on my mind, you'll see it here. What's on my mind right now, is spammers. Let's be real here, I'm a very average guy, I don't think I qualify as ugly, but the chances of me being voted the world's hottest anything just isn't very damn likely, unless someone has set fire to my ass. So, when I see these messages on here that start off with "Hi there hottie" you can bet your ass that somewhere in that message there's going to be an invitation to a site with a web-cam....LMAO. Let me say this right up front. I like web-cams and as a personal hobby, I like good porn too. That being said, let me now state that there is a whole world of free porn out there if ya know where to look, and I do... The point to all of this rambling, is just to say that I'm not here to invite strangers to see me nekkid, for free or for a price. Please show the same respect if ya want to send me a message. Add me, be a friend, get to know me if you want to, but don't spam my ass. It just pisses me off, and makes you look foolish. One more thing, if you are reading this, thanks for checking ouit my profile and welcome to my world. It can be a strange and scary place, but I'll guide ya through it....LMAO.