Wendy’s Customers: A Guide to DiningShare
Current mood: annoyed
CAUTION: The following may contain information that might induce heart attack, stroke, hemorrhage, or even death. It is not intended for intelligent, normal persons to read. Please do not be offended.
: So, I work at Wendy's, a fast-food "restaurant" near where I live (literally...) It is not amazing or exciting in any sense, however, I have felt the growing need to address a few, uh, things to the lowly, uneducated idiots that plague the store every day. So without further ado, here are advices, concerns, and hints for Wendy's customers (or future ones)...
1. Figure out what combo you want BEFORE you start your order.
2. A medium drink is not much different than a large drink.
3. I do not know what "McNuggets," "happy meals," or "garden salads" are.
4. Yes, there are TWO flavors of frosty. TWO (holds fingers up and nod encouragingly)
5. Diet Coke is not much different than Coke.
6. Little Chuckie wants a different toy? Well, guess what, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, take what you get, you duck.
7. If you are pushing 400 lbs, you should refrain from ordering a triple cheese sandwich. Or anything, really.
8. Even though eating in Wendy's is far, FAR from being 5-star dining, nonetheless, arrive clean, with SHOES, and some good clothes.
9. Do not under any circumstances allow your kids to enter inside the food prep area. If they do, I will make them scrub the dishes and eat them for dinner afterwards.
10. Don't come in and order 5 waters. That is just stupid. And cheap.
11. If you order to go, get the hell out.
12. Oops, did we accidentally add pickles to your single? Guess what? I don't give a SHIT!!! Use your fucking fingers to get them off. It won't kill you.
13. I know that cleaning up after yourselves would be asking for far too much, but please, take your TRAY'S to the trash can.
14. Step away from the salt shakers.
15. Ordering for 200? DON'T GO THROUGH DRIVE THROUGH, BASTARDS.
16. I cannot take orders from more than one person. I AM only ONE person.
17. Yes, I can speak English. Don't I look American? You silly:)
18. If you are not handicapped, don't PARK in the handicapped section, you lazy slimeball.
19. I DO NOT enjoy cleaning up regurgitated food, especially regurgitated
food from OTHER people's mouths.
20. DON'T COME ALL AT ONCE!!! Damn, why the hell is it that everyone comes at the same time? People, people, individuality is praised. Don't be a sheep.
21. I have bad day's too. Don't get pissed off at me for no reason.
22. Don't tell me your life story. I could really give a fuck.
23. Don't ask for 10 cracker packets when you won't use them.
24. Do we cater last minute? Considering the fact that we are fast-food, I would think that the answer would be a big, fat, neon NO.
25. Dining room closes at 10pm. This means that not only will you NOT dine in at 10 but at 9:59 as well. It's the same damn thing.
26. Broccoli and cheese potatoes DO NOT EXIST!!
27. Why yes, we do sell french fries. DURRR!
28. The baconator really IS scary. It will freak you out so much, you just might have a heart attack. READ: 1000 calories=100% clogging of arteries, not to mention other side effects.
29. Don't bring back a reciept from last month to replace your sandwich. Don't be a nimrod.
30. Don't hit on Wendy's employees in the drive-through. They are ALL on crack. Trust me, I KNOW them.
31. We don't have dogs in the backroom! That's just Sheila barking orders. Our regulars are used to it.
32. Don't order food when there is a SPOTTED TORNADO in the area. That is just really, REALLY fucking stupid.
