Manda Minx's blog: "Words of a Young Mother"

This morning some shit went down and I lost my best friend and confidant. It was just something stupid that never should have happened in the first place. Needless to say, this is not helping me think otherwise about that fact that people would be better off without me. My heart hurts because I hurt my best friend and he is very upset. He wants nothing more to do with me. I don't know what to do. I told him how I felt and it wasn't enough. I am done having friends and I am done with everything else. I think I will give my son to his father and disappear. People will be better off without me. My best friend told me that he didn't want anything to so with me. He told me this today and it crushed me. "It doesnt matter anymore When i get back online i am removing you from my friends" I just don't know what else to do. All I do know is that this isn't worth it anymore. My best friend is gone. He made me so happy. I could tell him everything and anything. This is not trying to get my best friend to come back but maybe if he reads it, he will realize how much it hurt me to. He thought I was going to play him and I suppose that in the end, I might as well have played him. Then he might not be as hurt. Well, I should go and cry my eyes out before bed like I used to before my best friend. ~Manda~ P.S. To my best friend, you know who you are. I am sorry and no matter what, I will always care about you, love you and worry about you. You still mean the world to me. You are my everything.

Today, my soon to be ex hubby came home and said that he got a call saying that his Grandpa wasn't doing good and the nursing home wasn't expecting him to live through the night. Despite that news, I had to go to work. While I was at work, my soon to be ex, Ryan, called my cell and left a message. When I checked them, I called him and he told me that Grandpa had died. I went up to my supervisor and as I told her, I broke down and she sent me home 2 hours early. Ryan's grandpa was more like a grandpa to me then my own grandpa is. I love Grandpa Rossenbach and I always will. On my way home, I stopped and bought comfort food but it just isn't working well enough. Well, I am off to mourn. RIP Delbert Rossenbach. 4/30/08

So now Daemon is 15 months old, I am 20 and I am still having hubby issues. I guess some things don't change. I am now working part-time at a finance company making collection calls. I know I know. I am the person everyone hates. Well, I feel bad about calling people for their money but I am paid to do it. I am getting so sick of people telling me how I am a bad person. I am a nice collector. I am nice and polite. Well, that is it for now. A short update.

Today I found out that my Grandma died. She never got to meet Daemon and I hate myself because I never brought him over to Minnesota to meet her. It just hurts me inside. I don't know what to do. Well, I'm going to make this short. I'll update later. ~Manda~

Daemon is already 6 months old. It feels like just yesterday that I was at the hospital holding Daemon for the first time. Time just goes by so fast. I just love being a mother. I loved watching him sit up for the first time, watching him scoot for the first time and watching him grab things that he wants. I look forward to seeing him crawl, helping him take his first step and hearing his first word. I love holding him and cuddling with him. I love my son so much and I couldn't live without him.