I like women. I have a good time. I write a local gossip/news/nonsense column fer the Hoopee Holler Gazette. I own the paper.
I is single. Been divorced five times. Ain't bragging... Just stating a bona fide fact. (I tole you I like women).
My five wives and me still date. Mainly shagging. They cannot get enuff of Willy Moon.
I am a half breed... Half Moron and Half Earthling. My mother is a witch from the planet Moron. She is now the Queen of Moron. Pappy was an Earth Hillbilly from Kentucky.
He's deceased now.
I have a Horny Fluid chemical in my skin which turns on some women to me. I never know what woman it will work on. I get this from the Moron side of the family.
I live in a cave that was made into a home on Mt. Sexabus which is a stone's throw away from the city of Hoopee Holler.
I am a local celebrity. My column has brought me fame.