i lie in wait in a sad grey cage
an extented luke warm torture results from past wars and crushes my battered soul
suddenly the dawn's light stabs through the cracks that have not yet been filled up
it sparks my mind and passion mixed with pain fuels an explosion
i shatter through as somewhere far away a secret joy longs to be expressed
the price i pay a debt that will forever hold me back
but i have no choice
like a drowning man grabs for anything in his reach
instinct forces me beyond the walls of brick
my head breaks through a floating ocean in the sky
sweet tropical water splashes on the curves of a native virgin
the colors of the sun's light are unleashed in a symphony that dances to the beat of of joyous life
it doesn't make sense and yet i could not be more complete
but it won't last. it never does.
the colors turn somber and blend into morbid cloud that consumes the atmosphere
the mood can only be described as a shrill scream of horror
a loneliness so intense not just caused by lack of human company
but by a lack of feeling, a lack of contact with the rational world
is this death? is this insanity?
now i long even for the brick walls
simply because they represent a solid tangibility
a distant vision barely recognizable fades in and out like fog in the wind
the years roll by
the brick walls have long since been ran to the ground
but the damage has been done
i go through the motions like a robot without purpose
i am spent
i ask God to forgive me
they say He's understanding
i guess time will tell