Well, I haven't posted on here for awhile and usually I dont post on here I post on myspace. But, I just want to share with everyone that my brother will be leaving soon to go back to Iraq, and I'm scared. I'm enjoying the time I have with him now, bc he's home for 10 days, but then I'm dreading it also cause those are the days that take him closer to his time of going to Iraq. When he comes home his little girl will be 15 months old. She's only 2 months old. The most precious time in her life will be in pictures, he will miss the firsts of her life. And, what about the times that I look at my mom and see the tears in her eyes that I can't dry like I want to. It hurts to know that the best thing for me to do is walk away and let the tears fall bc she is feeling the same emptiness and wanderment of his safety that I feel.
I'm scared for everytime the telephone rings in the middle of the night and the sinking feeling in my gut of who will be on the other end. Or, everytime a gov't car pulls up to the front of the house, who will step out and worse what will they have to say. Or, if that ever happens will I be home with my mom to comfort her when a uniformed officer comes to tell her the news that no family should have to hear in this time of war. Shane is more than my brother, he is my hero. Does he know it? I'm sure he does. But, does he feel like a hero? No, he feels like someone going over to do a job that he was called to do. I want people to know that he's more than just a soldier fighting in a country on the other side of the world. He's a husband to Holly and father to Dean and Anna. He's my brother that loves to watch Forrest Gump over and over, and makes me and Shaun laugh at all the goofy things we've done as kids growing up. And, no matter how big he gets, he will always be my mom's pride and joy. He's much more than anyone would ever to be on the outside. Because on the inside he's just the biggest kid you would ever meet, he still farts and blames it on the person beside him, he loves to play paintball. He frustrates me with the things he does, but does that mean I love him any less? No. I love him more than he will ever know...
