Mrs Melissa's blog: "Unexpected"

so my beautiful baby girl turned 3 yesterday! yeah, she is one of the most precious things in my life... Well saturday Aaron and I had her a small party with family at perter piper..I invited her father to the party and never heard anything from him.. well as we were opening presents he walks by the window and i thought WOW he showed, no.. he walked in with his father and brother and as he did muttered something that sounded like oh crap! and walked by went to the counter and then walked right back past us... He didn't stop to say happy birthday or even hi.. well then he texted me and said he was sorry but was late for work.... umm hello but she's your kid and if you cared you could spare a few seconds... He acted as if he was a shamed of her and I don't understand it because she is the sweetest thing ever... i don't even know if his parents know about her or if they do and he just denies her.. which he has never done to my face... but i am over trying to involve him... i told either be there or stay away... and after acting like she means nothing to him i would prefer if he was just that nothing to her... she's the most wonderful little girl ever... her personality is huge and she is gorgeous.. so it seems he made his choice... i just don't understand.. maybe because i love her so much i cant see why he doesn't.. its sad so sad... but she has me.. and i work so hard to make her life complete, and I thank Aaron so much for being there for her... he has stepped up and adores her..and I don't know how to tell him how great that makes him... i guess thats my rant... i still don't get it, but at least i got it out...

I have figured out why I have very few female freinds, and basically it comes down to the fact that most women back stab, and put on fake faces when it comes to being freinds with other girls. I have found trusting them is impossible because if thier is something that they want they will go for it and leave you hangin to get what they want. This is not all of you on here.. I do have a select amount of female friends I love... MAUH DUSTY!!!.. But the others that cant keep your mouth shut and stop gossiping... I'm done.. I have no time for your drama.

Could life just become simple.. Everyting just fall into place? Well obviously not mine. Its more confusing now then it has been in awhile. First off I need to find a better job.. I love the job that I have, but I need more money.. But doesnt everyone? My love life is one big mess. I have some of the greatest men in the world in my life but its not fair to them that I am dating them all and not giving just one my undivided attention. Man #1 has had my attention for a while now. He is a sweetheart but his life is a little crazy for me, and I'm not sure I would fit in it. He is a bit of a wild child, and I dont think he is ready to give that up.He says he really cares about me, and that if he had a reason to settle down he would. I know he really wants a family and to be the provider, and take care of everyoe, but he cant accept that he might need to be taken care of too, and needs to let someone in in order to have the family. Man #2 Is actually a former ex and he wants us to be a couple again. He has gotten his life together and is on his way to making himself the man I knew he could be. I know he really honsetly cares about me and really wants to make it work, but I dont know if I wanna chance us falling back into the routine of fighting that we were in when we broke up. I see that he has made changes in himself, and he made them for me, but can you really become someone different. And I dont think I have changed that much. I am still set in my ways.And I dont think the things about a person that annoyed you at one time, can become the reasons you love them. Man #3 is awesome. He is a sweetheart and he makes me feel amazing about myself. When he looks at me I feel gorgeous. And I honestly think we are on the same page in our lives. I can be my silly self with him and not feel judged. He makes me feel safe and like the possibilty of something good is around every corner. There's my choices.. 3 wonderful men. That have so much to offer someone.. Adventure and Spice.. Persistance and willingness to change... Hope and openmindednss.. and you can probablyh see why it is hard to just pick one all have qualities I adore. Each of them contain a little bit of the person I wish I could be. I dont want to hurt any of them, or loose any of them. But I think it's unavoidable.. and I probably will have to urt myself a little to finally make a choice. I just wish it was simple and the obvious choice was just staring me in the face, but it cant be that simple.

ilove this song! "Over You" Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one To build me up and tear me down, Like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left Just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. You took a hammer to these walls, Dragged the memories down the hall, Packed your bags and walked away. There was nothing I could say. And when you slammed the front door shut, A lot of others opened up, So did my eyes so I could see That you never were the best for me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. Well I'm putting my heart back together, 'Cause I got over you. Well I got over you. I got over you. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.

never thought the day would come and you would up and run.. Run so far and so fast, that you slipped right through my grasp.. I loved you so hard, but even that could not hold you, when you wanted to fly.. I wondered what I could have changed, maybe one moment that might have changed it all.. My world came crashing.. It just collapsed... In a moment all was lost.. Time does heal.. and over time I have rebuilt hope.. Hope in myself.. hope in family.. and hope in love.. The light began to shine brighter... My heart beating once again... Opening up and exploring who I really am... Discovering what it takes to make my dreams come true... Learning to live without you..

Its a word that can describe so much.. Falling in love for instance is one of the most wonderful feelings ever. You have butterlies, you cant get ennough of the person. Thier voice makes you one of the happiest people in the world. You walk around in a perma state of happiness, eyes sparkling a smile on your face, and a giggle in your heart. It's amazing! Floating on a cloud. But as easily as you were put on that cloud you can fall. And when you fall from that cloud sometimes you skin you knee and others seriously bruise your heart. Feeling the wind knocked out of your body and almost like you are in a gazed state, that almost seems unreal. The things is you can fall from this cloud without warning just wake up and relieze that your free falling in a spiral of uncontrollable terror. Love is one the scarriest yet most enjoyable experince in life.It lets you know you are human and that you too have weaknesses. Someoe can come into your life and even if you didnt see it coming, and they can leave you exposed to the world, because they were the one person that was able to get in. The pain, that comes from love has to be the worse you can imagine. But without it would you really even know your alive?

well i have not really posted blogs on here yet so i decided it was time to start one. if you have seen my myspace page then you know i am a blogger, i see it as a release, a place to express myslef and just get my feelings out in the open. well heres my introduction and it will catch you up on my life to this point. i am only 23 even though the my page says i am 24. i have two beautiful children. i had my son when i was 17 and my daughter when i was 21. i have had a series of misguided realtionships in which i will probably go into depth with a few of them in future blogs. i beleive that i attract the wrong men. in the beginning they all beleive they know what they want, but when it comes down to it i dont think they have been ready to commit fully. i geuss you can say i have been some of a wild child. partying, drinking, smoking, some drug experimentation. so compared to my sister i was the bad one. i have though setteled down a little in the last year, but i can still let myself get carried away. to a point i believe myself to have a very strong personality and sometimes that is a little intimidating to people. i have had hardships in my life, but nothing to the point where i feel sorry for myself, they were experince that i went throught that sometimes made me stronger and in someways taught me to be valunerable. in the end i am just me. well in closing i hope to share my thoughts and experinces with you and maybe in someway let yolu know who i am.

there was a moment a moment when everything could have worked. a moment were safty, and excitement were felt. there was a breif time a time were the posibilities were endless and the unknown was not terrifying. then in a moment the heartache begun. the pain set in, and the unknown became terrifying. in that moment you were gone. ripped away because of some unknown reason. a time, in which a light was put out and the wondering of why began. and in that next moment, the healing would begin. the exporation of something new. you were lost but not forgotten. time would pass, and life will go on, but you will be in my heart for all time.