Trell's blog: "trell's thoughts"

I can't sleep, I'm always thinking I'm staring at the wall, my eyes aren't blinking I'm wondering where life will take me, when will it end I feel so alone even though I have my family and friends. I use to know who I was, but now it's like I don't know me I lost myself now, and I may never again be happy. I use to cry and get shy, when I thought people would stare I use to help people anyway I could, but now it's like I don't even care Time changes everyone,and yes I mean all I stand alone, if I don't make it will be because of me if I fall If I never trust anyone, then I'll never get hurt My feelings will never get stepped on or ran through the dirt. The closest one to person, will be the first to do them wrong fast They'll talk behind your back, they'll bring up your past. Sorry if it's the truth and I'm just trying to be real Hate me if you want but this is how I feel Copyright © 2007 Damon Taylor

How can you be trusted , I know how you are I tried to trust you , but it didn't get me far I though you grew up, I though you were a man Yeah I was wrong, you tried to ruin everyone's life and you still will if you can Just to make yourself feel good, to feel that you're on top Only a sick person, would do family wrong , but you'll never stop You're a bad dad and bad brother You know you're a bad son look how at you treat our mother She tries to help you , but you don't care You're alway screaming and yelling "No one treats me fair" Coward, I"m going to call you that till the end You talk about everyone behind their back, in their face you're their friend Get mad if you want that's just what I see If you got a problem with what I just said, then get at me. We are brothers and I love you , but I hate what you've became If you got something to say, then say it to me and I'll do the same Copyright © 2006 Damon Taylor

I believe in the God and what The bible says I believe there is a place in heaven for us that god has That's why I took the lord in my life back in the day I love God and I'm not ashamed to say With out the lord nothing would be God loves us that's why Jesus died for you and me I got baptised in 4th grade because I felt his love I feel him working in my life and watching from above I know that the lord is great, as you can tell He picked me up everytime I fell I try not to steal, cuss, or talk behind anyones back When I'm mad and wanna yell I just think would God do that We all make mistakes but God forgives We just gotta change our lives and the way we live No man on Earth has ever been perfect except Jesus Christ But I'm still gonna live for the lord, I already gave him my life. Damon Latrell Taylor

who can I say is really on my side or am I alone on this life time ride who will be there in the end are the people I'm cool with really my friends who can I call on when I'm feeling sad will they talk to me after I make them mad who will be there if I have some fears who's shoulder will I cry on when I shed tears who will give me a ride to work when I'm about to get fired who will let me sleep at their house when I'm tired who will love me when I feel there is no love left who will cry for me after I take my last breath Damon Taylor Copyright ©2007 Damon Taylor

thinking back to when I was in school and young a very bad kid and really dumb starting fights and giving dirty looks when the teacher left the class I tore up her books standing up when the teacher said sit down when creighton was in my class we were the class clowns not doing home work and I cheated on test I got all D's I wasn't trying to be the best I graduated but I didn't wanna go I heard them call my name but I was a no show that was years ago I think I changed I look back on those years and it's kinda strange I think sometimes why didn't I listen I think about how much knowledge I was missing but if I could go back it would all be the same I'm a big kid and I'll never change Damon Latrell Taylor Copyright ©2007 Damon Taylor

I have two mask tattooed on my arm they are mad and sad but that's no reason to be alarmed they are who I am they are what's in me I've felt that way since the very beginning I've never had friends, who could I really trust they say you gotta trust someone and that's a must I was born alone and I know I'm gonna die that way I look at those mask every day you might think I'm happy cause I smile alot but my anger and sadness is all I got Damon Latrell Taylor Copyright ©2007 Damon Taylor

time to get older trying to be a man without getting colder trying to be all I can being myself and being my own man working to get anything I need give a little back cause I don't believe in greed helping those who can't help themselves I've been getting taken advantage of since I was twelve some people are sharks who want all you have getting what they can from you then they laugh it's not fair is what I used to think I never smoke weed and I don't drink I don't go to clubs I've never been in a bar fight cause I make my own choices and I hope they are right Damon Taylor Copyright ©2007 Damon Taylor

when I close my eyes I see all the people who I wont see again some are family some are friends I miss them all with all my heart we'll be together again even though we are apart I keep remembering all the times we had I gotta smile even though I'm sad you're with god now and not feeling any pain thinking about you helps keep me sane I see you guys in my dreams as clear as day I wanna sleep forever just to have you stay I know when I see you in my dreams you thinking about me too letting me know your ok that's really cool I wish I could have given all of you a final hug and kiss but now if you can hear my heart you know you are missed Damon Taylor Copyright ©2007 Damon Taylor

don't cry, even if we are apart I hate to see women cry it breaks my heart I saw my mom cry alot when I was younger I stopped crying I had to become stronger I would do all I can to stop the tears I'll be your shoulder I'll chase away your fears I don't ever want a woman to cry over me tears of joy is all they should be Damon Taylor Copyright ©2007 Damon Taylor

My dad you had all these kids that grew up mad now just because you're around you expect us to call you dad I can't believe you think you have that right you know how many times your kids cried for you at night? we were a family even without you being there call you dad? come on does that sound fair you don't care if you did you would have been there instead of being a coward running away from your kids twenty-six years later you realize what you did I wanted to love you and to be your son I hope it was worth I hope you had fun what does a grown man need with a dad? I used to think about all fun we could of had we look alike and that's it when the time comes I'll be a man and take care of my kids Damon Taylor Copyright ©2007 Damon Taylor