In light of recent events in my own life, I thought it fitting that my blog this week focus on playerism. For your reading pleasure, I present the How-to Guide to Being a Player.
The Rules
To Get the Girl/Guy:
1.) Dress and act the part. Clean, well-kept people are more attractive. Over-dress as much as possible. Invest in good shoes (especially men!), and learn as much about everything as you can. You never know what situation you may be in that will utilize acquired skills.
2.) Pick your victims carefully. Over-emotional pawns can be hard work to handle as they will require quite a bit of maintenance. Strong, independent pawns, while more of a challenge, also require a lot of maintenance. The game is stepped up a bit. It's like going from easy level on a video game to hard. You have to be more on your game, more creative in your approach, and balance the delicate line between non-commitment and non-interest.
3.) Perfect your lines, your approach, and your pursuit. Beautiful people get approached all the time. You will need to come up with some creative "ins" to land that pawn. Start resourcing your library now. You will need to draw on these to win the affection of your victims.
4.) Get toys. Success equals attractiveness. And toys give the illusion of success-- boats, cars, cell phones, iPods...go to town. Enough said.
5.) Find remote locations over broad areas of your state. There is nothing worse than running into another person you are seeing while on a date. Find great hole-in-the-wall restaurants all around you and constantly add new ones to the venue.
6.) Master sincerity. This will be your greatest tool. Practice ridiculous lines and creative approaches over and over until you master them sincerely. It will pay off in obtaining your victim's trust.
7.) Get used to rejection. The more rejections you receive, the more confidence you will get when approaching your pawns. Confidence equals sexiness. So get out there and get used to be rejected. You will lose your fear and after a while, get a hit or two.
8.) Listen actively and look around. Notice the words, the manner in which they are spoken, the items they surround themselves with. Your observance and application is key to the landing. And keep this information catalogued for later use. You may use it to woo them, destroy them, or just to plain fuck with them when you are bored.
While with the Girl/Guy:
9.) Start early with non-committal and be consistent. Whether it's to the relationship as a whole or just to dinner, keep them guessing your next move. When you start keeping your word, you give the impression of the "Good Guy or Girl", and they never get laid. They just become friends.
10.) Along with 8, never apologize for your actions. Again, you will appear "good" and lose your credibility and sexual appeal.
11.) Never bite off more than you can chew. Don't get into too much or too quickly. And don't take on more pawns that you can handle. Start small and increase your cyber harem with experience. (Thanks for that reference, Einstein Socrates! lol Like your name?)
12.) Never stop looking. Even if you land your target, anything can go a-wry. You will need a back-up plan and that requires a cyber harem laying in wait. Entice them and get them slowly to the point of a meeting. You can always speed things up if something goes wrong, but this way a back-up plan is on the horizon and laying in wait.
13.) Get a reliable family member or friend to cover you. You will need alibis when you are with other people. Find someone reliable with as few morals as you and have them vouch for you when you are out doing "other activities".
14.) Vary the amount of attention you give to your victim. Shower them will attention one day and refuse to answer their phone calls the next. This will drive them crazy with inner turmoil wondering what is going on in your head. And ultimately, it will keep them engaged and interested.
15.) Carefully store information. As you begin gathering your "back-up plans", you will need keep them off the radar of other pawns. Some tips are:
* NEVER store your passwords in your computer. You don't want to run the risk of someone sitting down to log in and open your inbox.
* ALWAYS use different e-mail addresses for different girls. This will eliminate the chance of replying to the wrong email. And you can always pull it up as "proof" of your loyalty without ever having to say a word.
* Store phone numbers in your cell with names of the opposite gender. For example, men could store Charlotte as Charles, Tina as Tim, and Kristin as Kristopher. Women just the opposite. Or better yet, don't use real names at all. Store contacts with code names based on where you met, their likes/dislikes, or activities. This will help you remember who they are as well when you advance the game and have a lot to keep track of.
Ending It with the Guy/Girl and The Aftermath
16.) Develop a thick skin. Especially toward the end, you will need that emotional barrier. People tend to get pissed off being played and you will need to be ready for the emotional, social and sometimes, physical repercussions.
17.) When the time is right, end it abruptly. That is if you don't get caught first. Your mysterious ending of the relationship will leave her/him questioning what happened, mulling it over in their minds, and lacking closure. And if desired, you have an opportunity to come back with a well-executed story later if desired.
18.) If you get caught, feign amnesia. Deny, deny, deny. These types of things are usually word of mouth and it boils down to credibility. If you did a good job gaining trust in the first place, this should be an easy fix. It also opens the possibility to lie, lie, lie once you gather your senses.
So there you go. You are all decently schooled in how to be a player. Did I leave anything out? Or do you have a funny story about one of the bullets? I would love to hear.
