ladieinpink's blog: "Thoughts from Ladie_In_PInk"

For all that it's worth, I'm sorry for all I've done. I'm not perfect nor will I ever be. I am sorry that I can't be who you want me to be. I'm sorry that things didn't turn out the way we wanted them to me. I know the past can't be changed, but the future ahead so lets look to that. I'm sorry for the drama that I have cause everything is so messed up. No matter how hard or try to do things, they fail always. I' m sorry for all the things that I haven't taken responability for. I run scared because I don't know how to handle life. I am a pussy and I don't deserve to be called an adult. I don't know who to blame other then myself. I still to this day do not know anything about responsibility. I hope it's not too late to learn. I'm sorry for the lies if I ever told any, thats all I was ever taught how to do cause my mother didn't know any better. But I assure you that there aren't going to be anymore from this day forward. Yes they tear me apart inside everyday. Some days I wish I'm not alive so I don't feel it! I'm sorry for all the pain that I have caused you. You don't understand how much more I am for the fact that I have hurt you. You have all the right in the world to turn your back on me and never turn around. You have all the right to be mad and say what you want to. I'm sorry for all the anger that I show daily. I never got help because I can't afford a theropyst. I do admit that I am crazy and I need help. So much damage is done but I don't think much will help. Most of all, I'm truelly sorry for all the hearts I have broken. I lead so many people on too recent. Sometimes I guess a confidence boost gives off different singles to people. There are afew that I hold dearly to me and I swear I will not break them. I love my friends more then I love myself. You are the only people that I have and worth going through it all for. I'm sorry for all the sins I have done. I know those can not be taken back but if I ask for forgiveness that God has place in his heart for me. I am paying for all of my mistakes now in so many ways. Everything I have done is catching up to me fast. I guess that is what I deserve. Through all this, I guess I only hurt myself worse then anyone. For everything, I'm sorry. I got what was coming to me. But I just ask one favor for the sake that life is too short. Please forgive me. God will forgive you even if you dont. I love everyone.

Angel from heaven, fallen from heaven to earth just for me. A gift from god indead. Little sweet angel in my life, shin your darling smile upon me. I hold you dear to me. If I show you what it like to have a mother, can you show me what it's like to have a daughter. You touch my soul with happiness and joy. You fill my world with excitement and hope. The sound of your laughter is truely music to my ears. Sing me a hym to ease the pain that my past has brought me. My sweet darling angel, hold me my hand lead and show me what heaven is like. Hug me tight to show me what it is to love. Be tender, be sweet, be my precious angel, My precious angel, show me the way in life. Please help me guid me through the hard obstacles of the harsh world and I will be your teacher for life. Don't ever go away or leave my side, I beg of you not to. Little darling of mine, let me ask you just one thing. Before I lay my head down to rest guid me to heaves paradise if I shall not wake. Oh but wait, I assure you that I put here for you. I will nurish you, take care of you, and watch you grow. But for now.......... just be my little darling angel

Like air and water needed to live, I need you. Like a infant needs a mother to care for it, I need you. I'm helpless, lost, and scared if I don't have you. When I''m alone and crying I think of your face and It makes me feel better. When I feel I have lost all hope, I remember I have you by my side and I can accomplish anything. Like a funny joke to cheer me up, I need you to make me laugh. I can't think of another person that can ever do that. You are my wings to carry me away when I am falling. You are very special to me. I live for you. You watch over me as my guardian angel and keep my safe when in danger. I think of you as the sun that shines down on me. I think of you as my only world. Please don't ever walk out of my life. If there is no you..........there will never be me again

If I asked you to be all mine would that be too selfish for you? If I asked to be the only woman you love, would you look me in the eye and tell me the truth or just tell me what I want to hear? If I told you I love with every heart beat of mine, would you really believe me? If I sacrificed everything all over for you again, would you care? Would you give me the time of day for giving you my love? For eternal love, I would give you everything I can to be be yourside. I would travel to the ends of the world to find the impossible, just to make you happy, even if it was for a second. I carve your name over my heart so I will always have a peice of you with me. I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling and just dreaming awake cause I can't sleep, without hearing your voice on the phone, every night. I stare at your pick every night and shed tears of loneliness because you are not hear to spend the night with me to watch the sunrise. I wish apon a star tonight, to only hope that this will reach you

You were my friend, you were sister. You left me here all broken inside I let you in, now I'm pushing you out Now I'm nothing but broken inside Why do you hate me, why do you love me? All you do is leave me broken inside You betrayed me, you back stabbed and turned on me. I chose you as my true soul sister for life, I trusted you to be true and real. You laughed and crushed what I gave you, then turned around and walked away. Without thinking twice, you turned the tables on me so you would'nt feel the guilt. Then closed the door, without saying goodbye. I could foregive you and forget the passed, but all it would do is........................................ leave me broken inside. Ladie_In_Pink

An open heart finally set free. A heavy feeling lifting up light. Confusion and doubt are far long gone. Bad dreams and memories of you are completely erased. Hurtfull words and lies are barried and are never to be dug up. Everything that has happened between us has never happened, starting now and always. A mind of cluttered worries finally emptied, cleared, and refreshed. A new life. A new beginning. A new start. A new way. Learning how to let go and set free. Shaking it all off and ready to travel ahead and walk a new direction. Closure.........................what a wonderfull thing that could happen to me. Ladie_In_Pink

It’s time to be strong and hold my head up high. For that pecies of us can not be put back together. I have to stop shedding tears and get myself together. I take it day by day, slowly but surelly the pain lessens. I say a prayer to the heavens to send angels to guid and help me through the suffering that I am in. I close my eyes and look for strength deep inside to get up everyday and realize that there is no turning back to you. As I think of all the memories that we shared, it makes me hurt, but I hope that one day, they will not hurt. I hope that the memories that we shared will turn into happy moments that will make me smile once more. I will go on and be set free, for I will never hate you, but you will always be in that one place in my heart. We can not start over again, for it is too late to start another world that will not be turned for us. There is love for you out there, I’m very sorry that it couldn’t be me once more. But now, we have to move on and start a new, happy, wondefull life over with someone that will make us happy. Not someone that will let people get in the way of us and tell us lies because they do not approve of us. We need to both hold our heads up, be happy.......................we need to be strong, for the both of us. ladie_in_pink