1. Long hair is not the most important factor.
Some short hairstyles are bangin', short dicks ain't. Get your priorities straight, stumpy.
2. Definition of a gold-digger: Former innocent, loyal, sweet, heartbroken girl who has come to the conclusion that men just don't give a fuck about women and have nothing to offer besides dick, and money. Dick disappoints sometimes, money never does.
3. Just cause your loyal girlfriend forgave you
for cheating, it doesn't mean things will remain the same. News flash: Any cute male "friend" that she may have had has now moved up a few notches, playa.
4. Big titties can't suck a good dick. Nuff'said.
5. Girls can fuck you and keep it movin' too. Stop thinkin' that if you fuck with us we're gonna catch feelings. Ain't nobody thinking about you nigga. Our boyfriend was just acting up that week.
6. The REAL freaks aren't the loud, obnoxious,
promiscuous, titties hangin' out, tight everything on, excessive-makeup-wearing girls who emulate chicks in a Jay-Z video. Nah, she's the QUIET one with the sweatsuit, sneaks, ponytail, makeup-less face, doin'
her, just chillin'. That unsuspecting, "plain" chic will have you thinking your dick will fall off if she leaves. Not to mention, kick one of them obnoxious bitches' asses.
7. Just because a girl gives you her phone number that day, doesn't mean she expects to hear from you that night. Pretend like you have a life.
8. Shouting obscenities at a girl just because
she DIDN'T RESPOND to your, "Yo shorty", (when you're shorter than her), or your "Ma, Ma, Ma",(when you ain't her fuckin' son), or to "Damn girl!" (when she's with her man), only makes you look EXTRA stupid.
All that cursin' while she's walking away...you still think she's fine, genious.
9. Men swear that girls resort to masturbation
like they do. If a girl says she doesn't play with her shit, it is conceivable. When we get horny, we call a nigga. As women, we have more sex appeal, more seductive tactics to trap guys, and therefore more options than guys. And, our options never have their period and are ALWAYS ready to fuck. With so little
resistance from you all, why play with our own shit?
10. A girl's trust is like tissue. Once
you've shit on it, you will never get it back to it's original state.
11. ATTENTION ALL NIGGAS, STOP GIVING FLOWERS WHEN YOU FUCK UP: Flowers don't make amends for all your wrongs. If anything, they remind us of the course of the relationship: at first it's colorful, bright, and
blooming everyday. Then it dries out, crumbles, and disintegrates until it's dead. Now it's time for somenew flowers, if you know what I mean.
12. Girls don't dress up and look attractive to
impress guys. We do all that extra shit to make us happy. We could have a rag on our head, no teeth, and one leg, but if our ass or titties are big, we could still bag one of you fools. Why dress up unnecessarily?
13. Oh yeah, those girls in the video? THEY DON'T WANT YOU. You better pay attention to the girl sittin' next to your droolin' ass.
14. If a girl claims that you're sexually
harassing her, you're ugly. Plain and simple. Sexual harassment is based solely on how attractive or unattractive the so called "harasser" is. Like a girl is gonna press charges because Allen Iverson told her
she had a nice ass.
15. When a girl calls your house and leaves a message on your answering machine, blowin' up your spot when she knows you live with your girl, you're quick to call her a dumb bitch. No. Dumb bitches hang up and pray that you eventually break up with your girl for some miraculous reason.
16. When you really have a chic's heart, and you really have her open, she's sucking your dick. If she ain't doin' that, go re-evaluate yourself playa.She ain't open.
17. If a girl is sucking your dick and you're not
even eating the pussy, and she ain't complainin,don't brag to your boys and laugh cause you think you're the man. Another nigga is handlin' what you're scared to do.
18. When you interrupt our making out to get up for a sudden bathroom run, we know you're jacking off to get rid of that initial nut. If she doesn't know, it's because she hasn't caught a nigga yet.
19. Do you really think we don't know when you're on the phone with some chic? Nigga PUHLEEEEZEEE...
20. Just because you honk your horn at a girl and she turns to look at you, it doesn't mean that she's diggin' you. It's because she's in the street and you honked your horn. Basic reflex is to turn and look. Drive on genius.
