son of sid's blog: "the world according to sid"

I had so much fun relaying our conversation about our new mom. I thought I would tell about some of our other FUNNY conversations. Same as last time my son's words will be all caps.
I was watching 16 candles with my son, I had totally forgotten about the sceen where the camera flashes on a lovely pair of boobs. When this part of the movie came on my son said......

EWWWWW BOOBIES!!

there is nothing wrong with boobies

THIER GROSS

Sid, that is where babies get thier milk.

NO! ITS NOT!!

yes it is. When you were a baby you drank milk from mom's boobies
.
NO MILK COMES FROM THE REFIDGERATOR (sarcastic like he thinks I am pulling his leg)

yeah and where do you think it comes from before it is in the refriderator?

WALL-MART!!!!!!!!!!!(in a duh tone of voice)

where does wall-mart get it from?

HHHHHMMM..........WALL-MART GETS MILK FROM MOM'S BOOBIES???????????????? (I am not real sure, but I think he was asking if wall-mart got milk from his mom's boobies.) (she would have to be a lactating wonder)

no babies drink "people" milk, from thier moms boobies. We drink cows milk.

FROM COW BOOBIES?

yes now you got it! except cows boobies are called utters

THAT IS REALLY YUCKY.
GIRLS DONT HAVE UTTERS THEY HAVE BOOBIES.(he said this like he was trying to teach me something!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sid got to milk a cow at the fair. so now he knows that milk comes from cows. And that his mother is not responcible for the entire milk suply at wal-mart. Now, if only I can get him to stop walking up to total strangers and telling them that he "got to milk cow boobies" and that they are "down below". And why is it that he always pics an attractive female to tell these things too cause they just look at me like ok, and what are you teaching this kid. What am I supposed to say?!?! If you have any suggestion I could use them cause I am utterly clueless!

Ok recently my son has asked me for a new mom so together we have been exploring what it would mean for us to have a new mom in our lives and what qualities we would want in our new mom. His ideas are so cute I thought I would blog them and share them with people. We just had a conversation today here is what we have come up with so far. What he wants will be capitalized.

1. SHE WILL LOVE US.
1. I agree with this one.
2. SHE WILL MAKE US A BABY SO WE CAN HAVE A BABY FOR OUR HOUSE. NOT A MEAN ONE LIKE LOGAN, HE IS REALLY MEAN.
2. sounds good to me! ok any potiental moms out there who want to be our mom. do you hear that? no birthing mean babies!
3. SHE WILL MARRY DAD
3. yeah she would haveto do that to be our new mom
4. SHE WILL NOT KISS DAD BECAUSE THAT IS REALLY GROSS AND I WILL HAVE TO WASH HIS LIPS OFF
4. Hey wait a minute! what if I want to kiss her?
5. YOU WILL HAVE NO LIPS I WILL WASH EM AWAY. CAUSE THEY HAVE GERMS!
5. Hmmm Son if you want to have a baby I will probably have to kiss her!
5. I WILL WASH YOUR LIPS AWAY!!
5. ok ok I know better then to argue with five year old logic, but son I would look funny with no lips.
5. THEN DON'T KISS HER.
5. (sigh).
6. SHE WILL PLAY WITH ME.
6. I wonder how she will look in a wonderwoman costume? I hope she can play
with me too!
7.SHE WILL SLEEP IN MY ROOM UNLESS SHE SNORES CAUSE THEN SHE WILL WAKE ME UP AND I WILL HAVE TO SLEEP WITH DAD!
7. Hmmm Can she sleep in my room?
7. NO CAUSE IF SHE SNORES SHE WILL WAKE YOU UP. THEN YOU WILL BE GRUMPY.
7. ok son she can sleep in your room.
8. HER NAME WILL BE MOM!
8. that is a good name for a mom.
9. Sid, What is the first thing you would want to do with a new mom?
9.Go fishing

Ok, this is the conversation that put the whole we need a mom idea in sid's head.
We were at the mall walking and looking at the people. This is an activity that my son and I do on a regular bases. I sometimes get wired for sound and need to be somewhere where there are people. there we were walking when my son says to me.
LOOK DAD I SEE A BABY.
yeah there is a baby
DAD, CAN WE HAVE A BABY?
I know you want a baby, but son we can not have a baby with out a mom to help us make one. I know you want one
YEAH I WANT A GIRL BABY SO I CAN TEACH HER HOW DO BE NICE.
(15 minute pause)
DAD?
what?
MOM MADE LOGAN TO LIVE AT HER HOUSE? (logan is Sid's 3 year old step brother)
yes, mom made logan to live at her house.
LETS ASK MOM TO MAKE A GIRL BABY FOR OUR HOUSE!!
Oh sid. I know that you want a baby, but your mom and I are divorced and that is kind of what divorce means is that we will not be making anymore babies.
SHE COULD MAKE A BABY FOR OUR HOUSE.
Sid?!? I am pretty sure you mom won't make a baby for our house.
YOU COULD ASK HER!
I am not asking your mom to make us a baby!
CAN I ASK HER
yeah you can ask her

I have not heard yet if he has asked his mom to make us a baby for our house, but I am sure that if he does I will hear about it. I wonder how she will deal with his 5 year old logic!!

Update!
Sid did ask his mom for a baby for our house infront of her boyfriend. Apparently when his mom said "No" Sid asked her boyfriend if he would help her make a baby for our house! Atleast he understand that it takes a man and a woman.

!

Some of Sids funny conversations are not so funny, but still kind of cute. On Oct 18th my son asked me
DADDY, ARE YOU GOING TO DIE?
Yes, someday I will die.

He started crying saying

I AM GOING TO MISS YOU WHEN YOU DIE
Sid everyone dies, someday you will die.
WILL GRANDPA DIE
Yes grandpa will die someday too, but it is ok for them to die, son. Parents are supposed to die before their children.
Someday you will have children and after you are all done raising them, teaching them the lessons that grandpa taught me and that I have taught you. It will be time for you to die, everyone dies, but when we die we will go to heaven to wait for our loved ones to come and join us. When I die I will be waiting in heaven for you!
I AM GOING TO BE SO SAD WHEN YOU ARE DEAD. I AM GOING TO HAVE TWO KIDS IAM GOING TO NAME MY SON, DADDY AFTER YOU AND I AM GOING TO NAME MY DAUGHTER SIDNEY AFTER YOU TOO. I WILL TELL THEM ALL ABOUT YOU!
Sid, I plan on meeting your children, because they will be my grandbabies! Don't worry Sid I do not plan to die for a long time.

DAD, YOU NEED TO CARRY YOUR POCKET KNIFE SO YOU CAN KILL THE BAD GUYS BEFORE THEY KILL YOU.
O.k. I will carry my knife with me, but I do not think bad guys are coming to get me.

I am not sure why he has all of a sudden realized that I am mortal, but I did think it was cute that he wants to name his son DADDY after me!