I wrote this a year ago to the day. It is for two ppl I loved an lost with in a week of each other. *two very good friends*
Tears
I have seen the years I have cried the tears, but through all there has always been you to be my stone an my shelter. With out you I am alone in this world of decet an hate an pain. I fear I have no one left to turn to. Out side I put up a front that I am strong that I am alright. But inside I slowly die a little more each day. To not see your smile on your face because some one you care for has walked into the room or just because you are happy to be alive, to not have you hold me an tell me it will be ok, to not hear your laugh because of some stupid thing I have done or a silly face made at you, to not be able to just sit there an call you cause I am bored or you are bored. I fell alone an broken with no one left to turn to. My heart feels shatterd as if it is in a million pieces an I can never put it back together. People say time will heal my heart. But I dont think there will ever be enough time in this world to heal what my heart as been through. I try to turn to you to cry on you but then I remember you are no longer there holding your arms out to me to telling me you care telling me things will be alright once again an that you are safe an warm an will not go away. All I have left is a broken heart full of memories of what once was an what will never be again of the friendship we had. I am not strong I can not make this a jrouney alone, but yet I am afraid to love or care for another or to let any one else in as I have grown to love an care for you. How am I ever to go on to be whole once again with so much pain inside? There are people here telling me they care that you are in a better place but yet when I go to look at them with tears in my eyes an pain in my heart all I see are shadows as if nothing is real any more. I know what they speak is true I know you are in a better place. But all I feel right now are the warm tears on my face frome the pain I have from losing you of not having you here any more.
