Good Morning. I trust all those who had to spring ahead did…Well if not you are reading this an hour too late. Perhaps as well late for work. Did anyone see the Oscars this weekend? I did not but also heard that the actors were mostly giving a vocabulary lesson to the audience. I did hear one sound bite from Harrison Ford. I like his movies…but this sound bite does not do him justice. “Movies are thoughts in someone’s mind, turned into words acted out by people…” Holey smoke, I had no idea…
So how was your weekend? Mine was good. Have you ever been driving along on a country road, a highway or just a road in general and up high over the road is power lines or phone lines which ever it may be makes no difference which they are, but on these lines over the road would be a row of birds. Sometimes the lines would be filled from one side to another, or perhaps open spots in-between or perhaps 6 birds here and 10 birds there, but you get the picture. You ever wonder what those birds are doing? What they are thinking? I do… So…with that being said here is my rendition of 6 birds standing on a highline over a freeway. Oh hell let’s make it seven and I will even name them, so you know who is talking.
Starting from left to right, my left… Come on it makes no difference but anyway here goes… The first bird is scrawny in stature but seems to be the leader of the pack. We will call him Delbert (Bird 1 = Delbert) …now right this down I will test you later. Oh by the way they are all black birds. No, don’t get me going it’s not like that at all… ok we will call them Crows…sheesh! Ok Delbert is #1 Number 2 to Delbert’s left is Fernadad, now Fernadad is a Large bird, somewhat goofy in nature huge by all means, doesn’t look to have sense god give a goose. (Bird 2 = Fernadad) Bird #3 to Fernadad’s left is Tywang, yes… yes Tywang is the offs spring of a Crow and a Rufous-Breasted Brush Robin…(don’t ask) was a made fling after eating over ripened berries… Tywang is a crow but has a twinge of orange across his chest. Tywang is a ladies man,,, I mean a Birdies Bird…hmmm ladies bird? Not to be confused with a the first lady… ok (Bird #3 = Tywang) Holey Moley, I should have just done a set of 3 birds… Ok the 4th bird and the next one to the left of Tywang… is Polly-Pure Bread oh yeah Polly was not missing her chance to feather up next to Tywang, uh ah no way mister, she was right there by his wing. Now Polly is not your everyday bird they sleeps in any nest available she has morrals. I think I just wrote she was a mushroom… Ok then Morals she has morals. Ok almost done with Bird names… I will have forgot my lines… ok to the left of Ms. Polly is D… yeah just D they call him D sort of a low life scum basket who takes what he wants and wants what he takes… Does not care what bird he hurts in the process. (Bird #4 = Ms. Polly) & (Bird #5 = D) To the left of D is Lucky. Lucky got his name from … well being lucky, he survived a long fall to the ground after the tree he had been a sleep in was up rooted by Hurricane Katrina. Oh yeah Lucky was from New Orleans.. Nawlines for you locals, perhaps you might even know lucky, I don’t know.. So Lucky survived that fall actually that up-rooting and ended up in Michigan. (Bird #6 = Lucky) My gosh I am not going to get this out by 7 am I? Speaking of seven, to the Left of Lucky, Lucky’s left is Grumble. Grumble is the comic bird always cracking jokes, even the non funny ones… he sometimes get’s left behind telling his joke and is so often caught up in the joke he even laughs at his own jokes… give it up for Grumble’s (Bird #7 = Grumbles) Ok you have the cast now let’s hear them speak…squack sqauch sqqqauck… Oh yeah in English…
Delbert: “Hey would ya look at that,…there is one of them new Mustangs”
Fernadad: “huh?”
Tywang: “I have never popped on one of them yet have you Del? How bouts you D?”
Polly: “Oh Ty… you are so cute… (do birds blink? If so she is blinking)
D: “ Noooo Mannnnnn… ( Birds use Man too) Noooo Main I hav Nevar did the deed…”
Lucky: “ Hey Fellas, Hey fellas, …(Before lucky can get his question out, Grumbles takes the opportunity to lay a joke on them)
Grumbles: “What do you call a Minor Bird Accident?”
No one answers..
Delbert: “Polly, what are you doing Saturday night?”
Fernadad: “Huh?”
Tywang: “DUDE! Can’t you see I am working here?”
Polly: “ Oh Del, you kidder you…. Well Honey I just don’t Know, I guess I could fit you in”
D: “ You and a flock of Seagulls…”
Lucky: “ Heeeey fellas…”
Grumbles: “ Come on that was an easy one…A Feather Bender! (He starts in with another Joke) Why did the Duck Go Ring ring?”
Delbert: yells “DUCK!!!...” ( all the birds duck down)
Fernadad: “ Whaa Whaa Whaaaattt was that?”
Tywang: “ Dude! You made me pooo on a Subaru… what was that..?
Polly: “ Oh hold me Tywang… Hold me…”
D: “ Main… Jew scared the feathers off me…”
Lucky: “We need to move D Poood the line…”
Grumbles: “ He got a phone bill, get it?” “My gosh you birds are clueless ok one more…What to you call a formal dance for Ducks?”
Delbert: “No I meant Ducks there is a flock of ducks over head..”
Fernadad: “ Huh?”
Tywang: “ Dude, don’t do that again, hey let’s move D is starting to stink up the air here…”
Polly: “ Oh Ty you say the funniest things… cooo cooo”
D: “ Get a Tree why don’t you two…”
Lucky: “ Grumbles did you tell another joke?”
Grumbles: “ I am out of here, the punch line was a Foul Ball”
Ta daaaa My rendition of those birds over head, now tell me seriously you will never look up at them without thinking… what are they saying…
Have a tremendous day.
A huge hug and many pats…
Mart
