He is gorgeous I had wanted to date him for years it seemed and when I got my chance, I ran. Yes I know when and in what moment I knew I was in love with him and in that moment I freaked out and said we needed to part. I have pined for you every day since some days are worse than others. You see the first person I had loved not only died when I was 19 but when we finally discussed our feelings for eachother was in an argument where I confessed loving him and he said what do you think I don't care about you I care but that was not good enough for me so that ended a two year thing and three months later he died so with that being said to being in love with the man I first stated I was scared 1 he wouldn't love me back ( though I saw it in his eyes and his demeanor ) and he would die and leave me alone I left I took myself out of the equation. Why I had to admitt this I'll never know also I will never tell a person I love them usually unless they say it first. Sometimes self preservation is not a good thing.