I never forget, not one important part in my life has faded from my memory, every detail of what is important has forever been etched into my skull. One such remembrance has filled my conscience self, something I'll never EVER forget. So this goes out, to the one I first loved, she who slipped through my fingers never to return.
It was a grey afternoon, the temperature was perfect, and the clouds above were like low flying silver sheets, covering the sky with such grace. We had taken a walk to the park, where we talked about the swings, the grass, and young'ns playing for their first times at a park. Sitting at a concrete bench we talked about dreams and watched crazy crack heads riding around on bikes. She lit a cigarette and I watched the red hot "cherry" light up on the tip. A crazy black lady broke the peace as she requested a cigarette, it was our last one, yet it was givin away as if we had a million more. Smiles broke out, and the temperature dropped, I moved closer to her and we talked more about the times that passed. Drops of rain started hitting all around us, slow at first but gradually increasing in size and quantity. Then it started getting real bad, a typical Georgia storm with rain drops the size of Nickels and Dimes, beating down harder and faster than the one before it. We made a small excursion to a sheltered Bar-B-Q patio, where we stood watching the rain around us. The rain was hitting so hard it was bouncing off the pavement in the road. A small mist arose off the concrete from the colder water evaporating. It suddenly got real cold, and I watched her shiver, so I wrapped my arms around her, to keep her warm, and, closer to her than I ever had been, I looked at down at her lips, back at her eyes, and down to her lips again. We leaned it at the same time, and our lips met. It started in my lower back and quickly shot up through my shoulders down my arms, and out to my fingers. What it was I couldn't begin to tell you, but what ever it was it soon spread throughout my entire body as we continued to kiss each other. At that point my heart was beating so fast it was almost as if it were completely still, I was short on breath and yet I had never felt so alive.
That feeling died out long ago for that person I thought I could never live without. I soon found someone else that made me feel hundreds of times better, and while things there didn't work out either, I still remember. I still remember. Not a single memory of anything so important will ever escape my mind. I've told 5 girls I loved them in my life time, of those five only three of them have I had a sexual relationship, and of those three only two were really serious. I respect my girlfriends more than I respect myself, and if a girl has no respect for themselves then I have no choice other than to continue on to someone else. The only problem is, just because someone respects their self, doesn't mean they'll treat me right in turn. That's something I seem'd to get screwed on a lot, but who knows, maybe one day I'll find someone quite like myself… Maybe one day I'll find someone who's really into a genuine romantic… Hell, maybe one day I'll get a million dollars for doing absolutely nothing, seems to me I've got better odds at that then finding someone that'll treat me the same as I treat them.
