[Here's a little sample of what I would be if I was marketing myself to women]

!!! ATTENTION LADIES !!! ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF LOOKING FOR "MR.RIGHT" AND ALWAYS ENDING UP WITH "MR.WRONG TURN"? Have you been searching for that tall, dark and handsome man, but only to end up with an over sized JERK? Do you ever wish you could just find someone that you can see EYE to EYE with? Do you just wish you could find a man that would remind you of your favorite Childhood Stuffed Toy? If you just answered "Yes" to any of those questions, then we have the answer for you! That's RIGHT! Look no further ladies! Here's the answer to all of your needs and wants! The toy Makers at Mattel™ have teamed up with the top-notch scientists from NASA and Honda™ Robotics, to bring you the TEDDY RUXPIN II™. The TR2™ comes with all the great features that you loved as a kid, and combined with all the features that you want as a woman. The original Teddy Ruxpin came with these standard features: Told you stories, sung to you, snuggled, and slept with you. Now the TEDDY RUXPIN II™ comes with these great new features added: Tells you stories (but only the truth), sings to you (your favorite songs), Loves to snuggle (w/anti-fall off the bed technology), and will sleep with you (but only after getting to know you, and doesn't require batteries like the older Ruxpin). At 5'4" tall the TR2™ is life size but still is easy to store away in closets or under the bed (not recommended to store the TR2™ in crawl spaces), Comes with shoulder extender for slow dancing with tall women (breast protector sold separate), TR2™ Listen Mode- just tell Teddy your problems and he'll listen, TR2™ Giggle Box Mode- this mode is automatic-TR2™ is guaranteed to turn over your giggle box for hours of fun!.. all this plus many more features! With all this available, how could you go wrong? Well don't just sit there, ACT NOW and WRITE BACK! *Limited supply, only one available. (offer not valid where prohibited by law and in Puerto Rico