64 Year Old
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Male
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From Elkhart, IN·
Invited by: 1077682·
Joined on December 9, 2007
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Born on October 5th
·6 referrals joined!
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I have a crush on someone!
64 Year Old
·
Male
·
From Elkhart, IN·
Invited by: 1077682·
Joined on December 9, 2007
·
Born on October 5th
·6 referrals joined!
·
I have a crush on someone!
16
64 Year Old
·
Male
·
From Elkhart, IN·
Invited by: 1077682·
Joined on December 9, 2007
·
Born on October 5th
·6 referrals joined!
·
I have a crush on someone!
Body: The Why's of Men?1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?(Because they are plugged into a genius)2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?(They don't have enough time)3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?(They don't stop to ask directions)4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?(Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?(So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?(Don't know.....it never happened)(C'mon guys, we laugh at your Blonde jokes!)And the personal favorite:8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP:1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.6. You watch the Weather Channel.7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of 'hook up' and 'break up.'8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@ kids next doorwon't turn down the stereo.11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.16. You take naps.17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, ratherthan settle, your stomach.19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms andpregnancy tests.20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good shit.'21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.22. 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going todrink that much again.'23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them insteadof asking 'Oh shit! What the hell happened?'Bonus:26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn'tapply to you and can't find one to save your BUTT. Then you forwardit