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How to Spot an Abusive Relationship # Are you frightened of your partner's temper? # Are you afraid to disagree with him/her? # Do you apologize to yourself and others for your partner's behavior or when you are treated badly? # Have you ever been frightened by your partner's violence towards you? # Have you been hit, kicked, shoved, or had things thrown at you by your partner? # Have you been forced to have sex? # Have you been afraid to say no to sex or to anything else? # Do you have to justify everything you do, every place you go, and every person you see to avoid your partner's temper? # Have you repeatedly been wrongly accused of flirting or having sex with others? # Does your partner constantly ridicule, criticize, or insult you? # Does your partner become violent when he/she drinks or uses drugs? # Has your partner ever threatened to kill himself/herself if you leave? # Has your partner ever threatened to hurt or kill you or someone close to you? # Does your partner spy on you? # Is your partner extremely jealous and possessive? An abuser will probably tell you that jealousy is a sign of love and concern. In fact, jealousy has nothing to do with love; it's a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust. # Does your partner call you constantly to check up on you? # Has your partner reported being physically or psychologically abused as a child? Was his/her mother abused? A family history of abuse is a significant predictor for a person to become an abuser as an adult. # Does your partner become angry when you don't listen to his/her advice? # Is your partner angry when you are a little late coming home from an appointment or shopping? # Does your partner control all the money? # Do you have to ask permission to leave the house? # Does your partner say that his/her controlling behavior is motivated by his/her concern for your safety or the need to make good decisions. Rather than expressing concern for you, controlling behavior shows a deep lack of respect for you. It fulfills his/her need to dominate, rather than fulfill your needs. # Did your partner "sweep you off your feet?" # Did your partner proclaim his/her love for you before the two of you had spent enough time together to get to know each other? # Did your partner pressure you to commit to the relationship before you felt ready to do so? # Were you made to feel guilty by your partner if you wanted to slow down your involvement with him/her? Many abused people dated or knew their abusers for less than six months before they were married, engaged, or living together. # Is being with your family and friends "more trouble than it's worth" because of your partner's jealousy? # Does he/she constantly criticize the people who support you or try to undermine your trust in them? An abusive person will try to cut the victim off from all resources, especially friends and family. An abuser knows that the more contact a victim has with others, the more likely he/she is to defy the abuser or to leave. # Does your partner blame you for his/her mistakes? # Does your partner feel life is unfair and someone is out to get him/her? # Does your partner find it difficult to take responsibility for his/her actions? Abusive people do not hold themselves accountable for the abuse they commit, and rarely take responsibility for their actions. After being blamed and criticized for everything he/she does, the victim will eventually internalize these false messages and begin to believe that he/she is responsible for ending the abuse that is committed against him/her. # Does your partner perceive slight setbacks as personal attacks? # Is your partner easily insulted? # Does your partner lose his/her temper frequently and more easily than seems normal? Abusers typically have low self-esteem. Their self-confidence may be so fragile that even constructive criticism is seen as a threat. # Does your partner seem insensitive to the pain and suffering of animals? # Does your partner expect children to do things beyond their ability? # Does your partner like to throw you down and/or hold you down during sex? # Does your partner want to act out fantasies during sex in which you are helpless? # Does your partner ever try to manipulate you into having sex when you are not in the mood by using sulking or anger? Abusers enjoy having power over their partners, and sex is one way in which they can feel in control. Many abusers find the idea of rape exciting. Rape, like abuse, is about power over another person. # Does your partner say things that are cruel and hurtful? # Does your partner degrade you or put you down? # Does your partner tell you that you are stupid, lazy or clumsy? The abuser wants his/her partner to be dependent on him/her. Abusers will try to undermine their partner's self-confidence by putting him/her down, making fun of him/her, demeaning him/her, embarrassing him/her in public, and/or calling him/her names. # Does your partner expect you to serve him/her? # If you are female: Does your partner say that you must obey him in all things because you are a woman? Abusive men sometimes see women as inferior to men and unable to function as a whole person without a relationship. They accept this reasoning as an excuse to abuse and dominate their partners. # Are you confused by your abuser's "sudden" changes in mood? # Is your partner extremely moody and prone to unexpected explosions of anger? Many victims think that their abuser has some special mental problem because one minute he/she is nice, and the next he/she is exploding. Moodiness is typical of batterers, and it is related to other characteristics of abusers, such as hypersensitivity. # Has your abuser admitted to hitting partners in the past? He/She may say that they "made him do it." # Does someone else have a restraining order against your partner? # Have you heard from relatives or an ex-spouse/partner that your partner is abusive? Situational circumstances do not make a person an abuser. A batterer is likely to beat any partner he/she is with if the relationship lasts long enough for the violence to begin. # Does your partner destroy objects you value? # Does he beat the table with his fists or throw objects around or near you? The abuser may use this behavior to punish his partner, but it is also intended to frighten the victim into submission. The abuser feels that he has the "right" to punish or frighten his/her partner. # Does your partner ever physically restrain you from leaving a room, push you or shove you? # Does he ever hold you down or hold you against the wall saying something like "You are going to listen to me"? This is not only a form of control, it is an indication that your partner is willing to use force to maintain control over you. In abusive relationships, violence frequently escalates. It may begin with a push or a slap, but it can become much more violent! THESE ARE NOT DEFINITE SIGNS THAT YOUR PARTNER IS AN ABUSER, ONLY THAT HE/SHE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BECOME ONE.
Are people not at all aware of the chemicals they're putting in their bodies when they choose to eat certain foods?!?!? If I had to choose between a sure death and a probable death, I'd choose Burger King. Educate yourselves, people! Nothing pisses me off more than a lack of knowledge. There are a lot of disgusting ingredients used in fast foods that would easily make your stomach turn should you decide to read up on the subject. http://www.thatsfit.com/2007/11/19/weird-fast-food-ingredients/ http://www.ask.com/web?o=kw&l=zk&q=fast+food+is+bad+for+you http://www.truthinlabeling.org http://www.msgtruth.org http://www.fatcalories.com/ I suggest watching the documentary Super Size Me and reading Fast Food Nation. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fast_Food_Nation Don't you owe it to your body to eat healthy? Mind you I used to weigh 350 pounds. Upon eating organic foods only, I now look average let alone I am MUCH happier and healthier. The end.
God doesn't care if we go to some freaking church to show our love for Him or if we stay home and spend time with our loved ones. God cares how we live, how we love, how we treat those around us, how we treat the world in which we live. In my opinion, religion is often times used for comfort and a sense of belonging for people. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I find it to be pathetic when somebody uses religion as an excuse to not like or respect somebody. We are all equals. I see no reason for us to keep from loving one another simply because of our differences. God has many names because He is an entity that loved and created us all. We are all His children. Love and respect your brothers and sisters as you would love and respect Him, for we are all pieces of God.
TAKE NOTE: I am including facts at the end of this blog, if you should find yourself wanting to know more about why I'm sounding off regarding this matter. Remember I am the proud owner of a brain possessing many great braincells. I also have a heart of gold. Unfortunately I can't pawn it for the money to help people in a less fortunate financial state than I am.
3G VENTING: There are starving children right here in America. They wake up to nothing in the fridge and nothing in the bread drawer. They go to sleep hungry, wondering what they've done wrong to deserve the life they are forced to live. Some of those children have a daddy or a mommy or somebody who is supposed to be caring for them that, instead of spending money on food and clothing for a child depending on them, choose to spend it on drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, fancy cars, bling, clothing and what have you. Some people really are that selfish. I myself went to bed hungry because my mom at one point in my life believed it was more important for her to have nice clothes so she could be a better salesperson than it was for her children to have food in the cupboards. She changed. People can change, but I know that pain. We all know pain, right? There are families that deserve to have a roof over their head, but are forced to walk the streets homeless, longing for a change for the better. They struggle to find food, shelter and work with little hope left in their hearts. Naturally I blame that infamous ARM glitch on mortgages, the economical status we currently struggle with as a nation and various other reasons for that problem. There are so many other things that the government could be using our tax money for, but instead... we pay for boarding serial killers, murderers, child rapists, rapists fed and clothed. Now believe me, I have mad respect for those who DO turn their lives around upon being released from prison. If they learn from it and better themselves as a person because of that experience, all the more power to them. I see that as being a rare occurance, though. Now back to those without the will to change: I see THEM as a waste of life, time and money... when they have no remorse and there is no real chance for rehabilitating them. It costs an average of $22,000 per year to imprison somebody. I strongly believe that money could be used to feed starving children, help homeless people/families, better our education system, provide health care for those who cannot afford it and SO much more. What are YOUR thoughts on this, people? IMPRISONMENT FACTS: http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~tonya/spring/cap/pro5.htm At the end of 1992 State and Federal prisons reached a record high of 883,593 prisoners. This record means that approximately 1,143 prison bed spaces are needed per week due to overcrowding. To put this in an economic prospective, on the average each prisoner cost $22,000 per year, and the cost of new construction averages almost $54,000 per bed (AAE "Prison"). The 883,593 prisoners are costing the American taxpayers approximately $19.4 billion plus another $61.7 million for the construction of the 1,143 spaces needed. Why should we, the tax payers/the victims, support these criminals? It's true that not all the prisoners are hard core, but in 1992, 2,575 prisoners -- all murderers -- were sentenced to death (BJS 5-93). 31 (one female) of the 2,575 (36 female) murderers had been executed during 1992. This is the largest number of people executed for any year since 1976 (BJS 12-92). By executing these murders, the American tax money could be used for something more useful. Thus the economy benefits from the death penalty. Plus, it helps lower the prison population by the number executed. The average time a death row prisoner has to spend in jail until the death sentence is carried out is about nine years and six months (BJS 12-92). It's more economical to keep them in prison for those nine years and execute them, rather than give let them spend their life in jail, taking up space and tax money. Those who argue that it's more expensive to execute a prisoner don't look at the overall picture. Suppose the Amount A equals the amount of money to support one prisoner per year ($22,000) and Amount B equals the cost of the execution (negligible). We are talking about paying Amount A times the nine years spent in jail plus Amount B for the execution plus the cost for new construction during the nine years (total is approx. $690,000), as opposed to paying Amount A times an average of 60 years the prisoner would spend in jail plus the cost of new construction during an average of 60 years (total is approx. $4,560,000). Even if the prisoner spent 20 years in prison the cost would be approx. $1,520,000. HOMELESS&HUNGER STATISTICS&FACTS: National Homeless Estimates: 700,000 per night; 2 million/year. (National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty, 1999). Thirty-one million Americans now live in hunger or on the edge of hunger. (State Government Responses to the Food Assistance Gap 2000, Third Annual Report and 50 State Survey, December 2000). One in five people in a soup kitchen line is a child (America's Second Harvest, Hunger 1997: The Faces & Facts). In 1999, approximately 12 million American children were hungry or at risk of hunger (United States Department of Agriculture, Household Food Security in the United States, Fall 2000). Families are the largest and fastest growing segment of the homeless population. New York City officials report a record of 6,252 families with a total of 20, 655 members are lodging nightly in city shelters, with rapid increase. (Use of Shelters By Families Sets Record in City, New York Times; Metropolitan Desk, August 1, 2001). In 2000, requests for emergency food assistance from families with children increased by 16% in American cities over the past year, the highest rate of increase since the recession of 1991 (U.S. Conference of Mayors, Hunger and Homelessness in America's Cities, December 2000). Nearly 1 in 5 children (more than 12 million) in the U.S. live in poverty (U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, October 2000 Update). The U.S. child poverty rate is higher than that of most other industrialized nations. In 1999, more than half of all food stamp recipients, 9.3 million people were children (Children's Defense Fund, Poverty Matters: The Cost of Child Poverty in America, 2000). Nearly 9 million children in the U.S. live in working poor families (Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, The Poverty Despite Work Handbook, 1999). In its 1998 survey of 30 cities, the U.S. Conference of Mayors found that the homeless population was 49% African-American, 32% Caucasian, 12% Hispanic, 4% Native American, and 3% Asian (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 1998). 46% of cities surveyed by the U.S. Conference of Mayors identified domestic violence as a primary cause of homelessness (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 1998). Research indicates that 40% of homeless men have served in the armed forces, as compared to 34% of the general adult male population (Rosenheck, Robert, Homeless Veterans, in Homelessness in America, 1996). Approximately 20-25% of the single adult homeless population suffers from some form of severe and persistent mental illness (Koegel, Paul, The Causes of Homelessness, Homelessness in America, 1996, Oryx Press.). According to the Federal Task Force on Homelessness and Severe Mental Illness, only 5-7% of homeless persons with mental illness require institutionalization; most can live in the community with the appropriate supportive housing options (Federal Task Force on Homelessness and Severe Mental Illness, 1992). Recent research indicates that even mild under-nutrition experienced by young children during critical periods of growth may lead to reductions in physical growth and affect brain development (The Links Between Nutrition and Cognitive Development of Children, 1998, Tufts University School of Nutrition Science and Policy). There were record levels of homelessness in New York after the Sept 11 terrorist attacks. (New Wave of the Homeless Floods Cities' Shelters, The New York Times; National Desk, December 18, 2001) * The 500,000-600,000 estimate is sometimes updated by using a projected rate of increase of 5% a year to produce an estimate of over 700,000 people homeless on any given night, and up to 2 million people who experience homelessness during one year. As a result of methodological and financial constraints, most studies are limited to counting people who are literally homeless -- that is, in shelters or on the streets. While this approach may yield useful information about the number of people who use services such as shelters and soup kitchens, or who are easy to locate on the street, it can result in underestimates of homelessness.

Respect our troops.

I am posting this because I feel it's necessary to remind people that we should have GREAT RESPECT FOR THOSE SERVING OUR COUNTRY. I also wish to remind all of you that we should be grateful for who and what we have. You may not have a life without problems, but you have a life you should live to its fullest despite any obstacles in your way. Read this and remember to show your respect to those who fight for our country... It may take you two minutes to read this, but if you do not take the time to read this you are one of the people this post is talking about. ---------------------------------------------------- You stay up for 16 hours He stays up for days on end. _________________________ You take a warm shower to help you wake up. He goes days or weeks without running water. __________________________ You complain of a "headache", and call in sick. He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward. __________________________ You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends. He still fights for your right to wear that shirt. __________________________ You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket. He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags. ____________________ ______ You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you. He knows he may not see some of his buddies again. __________________________ You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls. He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists. _________________________ You complain about how hot it is. He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow. __________________________ You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong. He doesn't get to eat today. __________________________ Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes. He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean. __________________________ You go to the mall and get your hair redone. He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today. __________________________ You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over. He's told he will be held over an extra 3 months. __________________________ You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight. He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home. __________________________ You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday. He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume. __________________________ You roll your eyes as a baby cries. He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet __________________________ You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything. He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting. __________________________ You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him. He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded. __________________________ You see only what the media wants you to see. He sees the broken bodies lying around him. __________________________ You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't. He does exactly what he is told even if it puts his life in danger. __________________________ You stay at home and watch TV. He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat. __________________________ You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable. He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long. __________________________

My health: I'm okay.

No worries. The ultrasound came up clear. My blood tests are mostly back to normal now. I'm gonna get back on my bcp's to regulate my hormones and... the doctor wanted to do a catscan, but I've had two in the last two years... as well as MRIs and what have you... dangerously high amount of radiation to be exposed to.... and she wanted to do another laparoscopy and I was like... I had that done in 2004 or 2005..... and yeah.... I'm hoping everything comes together the way it needs to. Hopefully the pain subsides and the symptoms fade. Thanks for your prayers. I'm close to back to haunting the eff out of yous. I gotta go. I have LOTS of errands to run tomorrow.... er today. Yeah.
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