162698's blog: "something in the air..."

In the next few weeks ill be moving to a new place. My lease on this apartment I have now is up at the end of the mth, an if I stay my rent will go up to 620 a mth, an that’s a lil more then I can spend on a place w/what I get paid. (That’s a differt story, my job) so ill be off line for a while, not sure how long, hopefully not too long. I hate moving. I guess its cuz I once moved my mom 4x on the same block an she had a lot of stuff, stuff that was Years old. But that was then, she has gotten rid of a lot of things over the yrs (thank god) Anyway, I have 2 options on were to live. I can again live in an apartment an line someone else pockets, or I could get a moblehome/trailer. The moblehome thing, is kind of what I want, cuz in the end ill own it, an can do what I want w/it. Which is a good thing? A good friend of mine that I have known for yrs, is willing to help me, an loan some $$ to me so I can get the moblehome. I want to take up their offer, but just worried some. Worried that if something happens, will I lose their friendship. And I Don’t want that. They mean so much to me, an been one of the longest friends I have had for a long time (prob good 20yrs for friendship) Other then that, it’s a big step of owning a home. It’s something I want. Something that shows ur not just some shmuck. Yeah it’s a moblehome/trailer, but it’s a home. It’s something that is urs, an (at least I think) shows that ur done something in life, other then just trying to survive. Plus it’s an investment. In all im a lil worried/scared of what to do. Have an idea what to do, have changed my mind so many times that its making me go a lil crazy. I guess that’s life, trying to figure out what to do to make life a lil easier. I’ve never been good at makin fast/quick decienes. I like to think about it some to come to the best ending. Well I better go for now, will let all know what I come up with.

While watching TV today there was a program called “Weird America” I’ve seen it before, an its pretty good. It’s a show about these 2 guys from Jersey and they go around the country an tell us about differt weird things you can find if you look. 1 segment was about the “Jersey Devil”. Being from the New England area, Rhode Island has a lot of weird things on its own (just have to be there or from there to know what I mean) anyway, “jersey devil” that’s something I kind of remember about, but didn’t put much stock in to it, cuz well I was a Rhode Islander. But a Michigander now. Anyway, it got me thinking, of a few things that I do that may sound weird, but to me it fun, interesting, and teaches me some history. You see when I can I like to take a walk threw a cemetery. Its something I have always done since I was a kid. I go there an to think, and to find the oldest grave stone, that there tells me how long the gave an how long the cemetery has been there. The earliest grave I have seen was from the early to mid 1600s that was in upstart New York, where I also found the Grave of President Chester A. Arthur. (Albany Rural cemetery, Menands, New York) that was cool finding his grave. That to is something I like doing looking for past presidents graves. With there being 43 presidents, 1 still in office, 3 still living, that leave me 39 to go. Like I said, I like to take walks in cemeteries to help me think, clear my head of things. Some have been just lil ones that take up a block or 2, others have been so huge that it would take me days to walk threw, an only a few minuets to drive threw. There always seems to be some sort of myth, or legend about cemetery someone tells about the cemetery in the town/city. I guess it just the thing to do. Take this time I was done in New Orleans 8yrs before Hurricane Katrina hit (that there is a differt story the feeling just being there, ill tell you later) in New Orleans they have cemetery that ppl can be buried in tombs or above grayed crept. Creepy yes, but kind of cool when you think of it. There I found dates from the early 1600s. Most of the cemetery are called Louie XVI’s cemetery. A few you can even take a tour threw them. For anyone that has never been to New Orleans, yes you can take a tour threw the cemeteries some during the day(best requirements) or at night. Hopefully I havnt bored you all and have given you a minute to think about something. To think about a place that’s to scary, spooky, a place that just might teach you a thing or two about our past.

few weeks ago on a friday, i was playin the lottery, keno at a local pub. where i go to get a beer an burger, its my friday thing. thinkin, ok its goin to cost me 20bucks on keno an 10bucks to eat, thinkin ill prob going to win if im lucky 5-10bucks back. its fun the keno. anyway make a long story short. the 20bucks turned in to $2201.00 that i won. let me tell you it was a BIG help, helped me get out of a few jams i was in an help me get a few things i needed. still playin keno, hopein to win again. i could win anywhere from 1,100 to 11,000(hopin someday to win the big won.) i am no way addited to gambling or anyway liek that. its my entertainment for the the friday night, or more afternoon. never was or still not in to the pub thing. and when it comes to gambling, i know my limit.

Ill try to keep this short, I know I can be a lil long winded sometimes, just get something in my head, an I go on an on..... Well its lil after 6am an im still awake. normally that nothing new, since I work midnights and normally be getting home in the next 30/45mins. But I was off last night, slept some, watched tv an was on here...u know the normal stuff you cant do when u cant sleep. At work I joke w/the ppl I work w/ that "im getting to old for this shit" is not the job I do that im getting to old for or what ever, it’s the working over night shit. Im not as young as I ues's to me (old country music song w/a line in it that says..."on the backside of 30 an knocking on 40s door) I im the process of working on getting a new job that will prob have me work afternoons, which is cool, that I can do. But im also (slowly) in the process of some life changes. Life changes you ask? What are they? Well in a nut shell, it all happened about 28mths ago, w/the birth of my daughter. She the world to me but lately, for sometime now, I have been a lil lazy at doing things. What I mean is, she don’t live w/me, she lives w/her mother (my x) and theirs some fiction there (long story not going to go in to it) anyway, Due to reason only my X knows, I have to prove to the state that my daughter is mine. No its not that im not aknowging my daughter, cuz I am, believe me I am. And I am in her life as much as I can. Just don’t get to see her as much as id like to. Not that its my fault, it my X that picks an choice when she will allow me. I have done some legal things but it take time, to much time that I feel like it is wasted cuz, my dau has no idea that she has a differt side of her life. My life an my family. My dau don’t know her grandma (my mom), or that she has a uncle/aunt an a cuzin(who is younger then her, but loves her just as much) that just loves her, plus the many other ppl im my family that have only seen pics of her. Long story short, I have seen the “game” (lack of better word) of coming from a 1 parent family, an the trouble/stress/disappointment of not having a farther around. I don’t want the to happen again, I Don’t Want history to repeat it self. But it sucks cuz it feels like it heading that way, an im afriad. Also afraid that im not going to a good farther/dad. Sure I say all these things that ill do for her, an such. And I have always wanted to be a dad, but deep down im the most afraid I have ever been in my life. If my gram’s was alive today she would 1st kick my ass, then kick my X’s ass for what she’s doing to me an her great-grand-dau. Gram’s was a tough old Irish bird, sad part she had ALS (alizermer’s) but when she was clear an was upset about something, she could put the fear of god in someone, I think that what I got from gram’s (thanks gram) . Well I have ranted an raved enough an have prob bored anyone that is reading this, plz forgive me its just how I am when I get something in my head. When I get tired my mind just goes n to overdrive an I think/stress more about what’s going on.

Long story short why i was gone from this world. Computer i was uesing was a rental, had to turn back in to save some money for a while. Well in the time i was gone, i was able to save enough money, an was able to gain money to help me w/other things to. As you can see im back on line know, have computer back (tho its not the same one i had, but its ok) I Own this one. WooHoo I did miss chattin w/everyone that i chatted with. Some of you i kept in contect w/ when i was able to get to a computer. Hopfully will chat again w/u all again soon.

Just want to let all know im back online! HAve Missed you ALL!!!!!!!

Hey ALL Im offline for a while, an only get to check back once n a while. PC down an hopin to have it back up as soon as i can. Miss you ALL. Hope Christmas and New Years was good to all. Love Bill

"Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, members of the Senate and the House of Representatives: yesterday, December 7th, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan." "The United States was at peace with that nation, and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its Government and its Emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American island of Oahu, the Japanese Ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. And while this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack." "It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time the Japanese Government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace." "The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu." "Yesterday the Japanese Government also launched an attack against Malaya. Last night Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong. Last night Japanese forces attacked Guam. Last night Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Island. Last night the Japanese attacked Wake Island. And this morning the Japanese attacked Midway Island." "Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation." "As Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense." "But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory." "I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us." "Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger." "With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God." "I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire." The Infamy Speech was delivered on December 8, 1941 by United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.

Just wanted to say thanks to you ALL that have just read my latest blug. It shows to me, that i have REAL friends on here, an im glad. If i havnt added you to my "Family list" once im abble to, i Will. If you allready on it, there is a reason, you are, an it means alot to me.

Well this past week has been VERY Streefull from me. LAst Thursday night i went in to work, an found out that i was on "indefinet supention" PC word...in engilsh it means i was fired. So the next day i went in to work to talk w/my boss and he said "come back tuseday an we will talk" Long story short, Tusday is here, an i went in to talk to my boss, begged for me job back, took a hit for 3days off, an i go back to work tonight. Latey i have been under alot of stress an well it rolled over to work an i know i should leave outside stress outside, an only have work stress at work. Everyone has stress, some handal it well. I thought i was but guess not. I uesally keep it in an deal w/it n my own way, but it somehow slips out. (not goin to bore you w/it) but wish life came w/a rule book/guideline what ever, so i knew what was goin to happen.