It's amazing how differently men and women look at sex. Its almost like we do it for two totally different reasons. Why is it that two dogs can fuck each other in the back yard and not feel the need to spend their lives together or tear each others hearts out? Is it possible that stupid dogs have a more mature outlook on sex than us humans? Maybe...
Is sex physical or emotional? A woman will say its emotional and a guy will say physical. Ok, then would any woman masturbate? Is there an emotion connection to Danny the Dildo or fingers number 1 and 2? Um guys, if its only physical...Then why wouldn't we choose effortless masturbation as opposed to the obscenely lame mating ritual called dating? It feels the same and you'll save time, money, and those painful discussions about "where this is going".
You have to be physically attracted to the person right? If that's the case ladies, then how does this happen?
I know, I know, you grew attracted to him over time...Did his face morph into something different because he is such a good listener? No, he still looks the same. I doubt him taking off his shirt makes you horny. (In most cases, wallet size = dick size) Guys, Do you like golf? Because banging a fat girl is just like golf. It sucks on TV, but its fun to play. Yeah, you have done it, and it was fun. But you don't rent fat girl porn do you?
We always do it when we are wasted- This is an enigma to me. Girls are more inclined to say yes to sex when they are drunk, but never really enjoy sex while drunk. Guys want to fuck all the time when they are drunk, but suck in bed because of whiskey dick. Why in the fuck don't we fuck more sober BEFORE dinner? I mean...shit!
Being on top- She likes him on top because he is in control, and he likes her on top because he can see her better. BULLSHIT. We like the other on top because its less work...Yeah, I fucking said it. I just outed each gender for being full of fucking shit and lazy.
Anal Sex- Every girl that says she loves it, changes her mind the second her guy asks for it. Every guy that says he loves it, can't figure out how to put it in there. It an asshole folks...shit comes out of there. Yeah, shit. Fecal matter, poo poo.
Cumming on the face- Any guy that's say he likes it, is being dead honest...But he doesn't like you. I mean, come on, who wants to cover the mother of his kid's face...with his kids?(I am like the comedian laughing while telling his own joke with this one) Ladies, stop telling guys you like this..you don't.
I mean...how the fuck can you? Is it good for your complexion? Self esteem? Then what?
When it comes to sex I think we can all learn a bit from each other, and more importantly...ourselves. That little voice in your head...listen to it. Guys want a girl to give themselves to him in almost every way possible. Some guys take it so far they just want see what the limits are, like anal and painting a girls face like a Jackson Pollack painting. (Entourage) Some girls want there to be a connection so bad, they will let a guy do almost anything for it to happen.
Hey everyone, look at those two dogs. It's just fucking, what are we getting so worked up about?
If you make one comment on this blog, either admit I am right about the top thing, or tell me why I am wrong.
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Disclaimer: Everything I write should be taken with a grain of salt. While I stand by everything I have ever written (with the exception of me having a small penis) it is my opinion multiplied by 10 for the sake of humor. Nothing in my blogs should ever be taken personally by anyone.
If I have ever said anything that offended you, kiss my fucking ass.
