My problem is simple. I'm no good at seduction. When a man answers the door in less than a towel, I become a retard and don't know what to do.
I had no boyfriends growing up, unless you count a first grade crush, named Blake. Blake would send me sweet little notes and meet me after school, and hold my hand and kiss my cheek. Things were awesome when Blake sent me a special Valentine card that he had cut into the shape of a heart using pink construction paper and a red doiley, and glitter. It said, "I Love You" on it, and he had made it with his own two hands and put it on my desk. I kissed him after school and when I showed the Valentine to my dad, he told me that I was too young for a boyfriend, that I couldn't have a boyfriend till I was 35 and that he would get his shotgun after him if he tried to take me on a date. My father of course, was being over-protective and kidding, but I cried that night and told him the next day that my dad said I couldn't have a boyfriend. I was too afraid that my dad WOULD shoot him because I didn't know any better. That, was my one and only boyfriend.
In middle school I liked lots of boys, but having braces doesn't make for a movie-star smile. I had filled out by the seventh grade, but I was still afraid of having a boyfriend, and the carnage that would erupt. (or so I believed) High school, I would admire boys from afar, but being a big girl- not a lot of guys notice you back. I didn't have a boyfriend in college, nor after college.
I thought I loved someone once, but it turned out he didn't love me. That happens a lot. And with no practice as a kid in seducing guys, and no boyfriends at all, all you have to rely on for reference points are two bickering parents and movie scenes, it makes for stumbling and fumbling and awkwardness at the ripe old age of 31.
So how do you seduce someone? Is it a dormant trait only given to a few choice Romeos or Don Juans or Juanitas? Is this something that one can learn? If so, can anyone give some good pointers or suggestions? When you have zero smoothness, but a willingness to learn, is there still hope?
My problem is also that when I find someone I am interested in, they seem to want me to do the seducing... and then nothing ever gets done because I'm too afraid that I will do something wrong, overstep their boundaries, or am still left wondering if they like me, back. I know I should relax, but my apprehension and frustration in the opposite sex leaves me with more questions than oppourtunities to make my (lack therof) move. And it doesn't help that I'm shy, either... but that's another blog.
HELP!!
