A few people who know me have heard the story about my screen name and why I have it.
I did not pick the nick out, it was given to me. A girl I knew in High School that was nice to me first called me Kermit. I looked like a cute frog so she said. See, I didn't fit into any set crowd and I had friends in every group though I was picked on a few bullies.
The name caught on and people I didn't even know started calling me Kermit. I helped this girl out in school with her projects so she would get a good grade. We flirted and I think we made out once in the tool room of metal shop.
I wanted to know more about her but I was afraid of coming off too strong. I didn't want to pry but this girl was special to me. I hesitated for a moment but it was too late. During that Christmas break she killed herself.
I could have asked her about her past but I was too afraid. My inaction lead indirectly to her death. I tried to bury all emotion inside but when people called me Kermit it only reminded me of this sweet girl and my feelings for her.
After a few outbursts people stopped calling me Kermit. I went on with my life though I still felt a burden on my shoulders. It was years later that it finally hit me. Like a shot from Mike Tyson, I was hurting bad.
It was on the way to a Christmas party when I heard something on the radio that brought me back to my high school days and my nickname. My eyes balled up and I struggled to stay on the road. A man must push through heartache I said to myself.
I got to my destination and sat in the parking lot sobbing. I began to feel ashamed that I hid that bit of history from my friends and family. That I once had a nickname that used to bring me a smile but only brought my sorrow.
I started referring myself as Kermit again and I vowed never to forget my beautiful friend. This nickname means a lot to me, more than I could put into words. More than I have energy to explain it right now. I miss you Angela.
