Redneck Home Security
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a
pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans,
a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba, Duke
& Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back
in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part
in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
P. S. I locked all four of 'em in the
house. Better wait outside.
'INSTALLATION COMPLETE!!!!
