Trixeywoman by birth Bitch by choice's blog: "random"

The Teabagging The all time classic manoeuvre of tapping your cock on a chick's forehead whilst she is sucking on your balls, and uttering the timeless phrase "Who's your daddy?" The Houdini Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it. The Angry Dragon Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon. Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favourite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends. Dirty Sanchez A time honoured event in which while laying the bone doggy-style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez. The Donkey Punch Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate. The Flaming Amazon This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then... extinguish the flames with your jizz! The Flying Camel A personal favourite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move. The Screwnicorn When a dyke puts her strap- on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn. The Zombie Mask While getting head from your favourite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you‘ll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don‘t want to be seen with. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won‘t work, it will. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy‘s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Rugs and Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don‘t know what you are talking about. Brown‘s Law: If the shoe fits, it‘s ugly. Oliver‘s Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson‘s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. 3. It‘s always darkest before dawn. So if you‘re going to steal your neighbor‘s newspaper, that‘s the time to do it. 4. Don‘t be irreplaceable. If you can‘t be replaced, you can‘t be promoted. 5. Always remember that you‘re unique. Just like everyone else. 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 7. If you think nobody cares if you‘re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you‘re a mile away and you have their shoes. 9. If at first you don‘t succeed, skydiving is not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 12. If you tell the truth, you don‘t have to remember anything. 13. Some days you‘re the bug; some days you‘re the windshield. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force‘. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 19. Generally speaking, you aren‘t learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Experience is something you don‘t get until just after you need it. 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

AQUARIUS.jan 21 feb 19th....you have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive...you lie a great deal and make the same mistakes repeatidly...because u are stupid everyone thinks ur a jerk and u love being screwed by inanimate objects PISCES....feb 20 march 19 ..you have a vivid imagination and often think u are being followed by the fbi or aliens ..u have a minor influence on ur friends and ppl resent u for flaunting what u confuse too be as power you lack confidence and u smell funny too ARIES...mar 20 to april 18 ...you are a pioneer type and think most ppl are dickheads ..you are quick too repremand , impatient and scornful of advice ...you do nothing but piss off everyone u come into contact with ..basically ur just a prick !! TAURUS...APRIL 19 MAY 19 .....You are practical and persistent you have dogged determination and stick too it iv ness cause u never do anything right the first time ....most ppl think u are stubborn and bullheaded but ur just an asshole GEMINI..MAY 20 TO JUNE 20 ...you are a quick and intelligent thinker ..ppl like u because u are bi sexual ..you are inclined too expect too much for too little ...this means ur a cheap bastard..geminis are notorious for hitting on their siblings .. CANCER..JUN 21 TO JULY 21 ....you are sympathetic and understanding too other ppls problems..which makes u a nosey prick ...u always keep putting things off this is why u will always be on welfare ,and wont be worth a turd ....everyone in prison is a cancer LEO..july 22 to aug 22 ....u consider urself a born leader everyone else thinks u are an idiot ...most leos are bullies you are vain and cannot tolerate honest critisism..your arrogance is disgusting ..leos are thieving dipshits and enjoy masturbating more then sex VIRGO..AUG 23 SEPT 21....YOU ARE THE LOGICAL TYPE AND HATE DISORDER your nit picking attitude is sickening too ur co workers ...you are cold and un emotional and often fall asleep during intercourse..virgos make good bus drivers and pimps .. LIBRA SEPT 21 OCT 22 u are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality ..if ur male u are probably gay ..chances for employment and monetary gain are nil...most libra women are sluts and all libras have one form of some venereal disease... SCORPIO...OCT 23 TOO NOV 21 the worst of the lot u are shrewed in buisness and cannot be trusted ...u shall recieve the pinnacle of success..because of ur total lack of ethics...u are a perfect son of a bitch most scorpios get murdered SAGITTARIUS..NOV 22 DEC 20....YOU ARE optomistic and enthusiastic..u have a reckless tendency too rely on luck ...since u have no talent ..most sagittarius are drunks ..nixon was a sagittarius ..you are indeed a worthless piece of shit .. CAPRICORN..DEC21 TO JAN 20...you are conservative and afraid of taking risks ...you are basically a chicken shit there has never been a capricorn of any importance ...u should kill urself ..

alot of u have alot of time on ur hands so if ur bored make me a salute !!! just take a pic of urself or something with my cherry tap name on it and ill put it in my salute folder !! thanks to those who have already done so ur awesome !!

Thanks to Fubar and it's loyal people, I am now at number one. If you haven't clicked, please do so! If you have, many many thanks. (repost of original by 'I need clicks on my Korn Banner!!' on '2007-07-29 18:41:22') (repost of original by 'TexasTattoo Artist' on '2007-07-29 19:38:26') (repost of original by 'Woman by Birth Bitch by Choice' on '2007-08-11 22:53:30') (repost of original by 'DaWangHardt' on '2007-08-11 23:14:21')

this is for a friend plz help him all u have too do is click the banner !!!thats it , simple . and thanks . Thanks to Fubar and it's loyal people, I am now at number one. If you haven't clicked, please do so! If you have, many many thanks. (repost of original by 'I need clicks on my Korn Banner!!' on '2007-07-29 18:41:22') (repost of original by 'TexasTattoo Artist' on '2007-07-29 19:38:26') (repost of original by 'Woman by Birth Bitch by Choice' on '2007-08-11 22:53:30') (repost of original by 'DaWangHardt' on '2007-08-11 23:14:21')

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk panties. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your shows. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Wife P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! ********** Dear Ex-Wife - Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my shows so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment . And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk panties: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-HUSBAND, Rich As Hell and Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my BROTHER Carl was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

i have added a guest book to my profile , so plz come by and add urself too it , thank u

today i went to the doctor been in extreme pain now for a few days with problems relating too a back injury i aquired about a month ago was very bored so i started reading about one of the meds she has put me on ..........maybe some of u are like me and never read side effects and shit but here is what it says .. the medication name is METHYLPREDNISOLONE i was told by my doc that this is an anti inflammatory medication .... USES..used to treat allergic disorders, arthritis, cancer , breathing problems , intestinal disorders , skin diseases , SIDE EFFECTS ..stomach upset , headache , dizziness, menstual period changes , sleeping difficulties , weight gain , SERIOUS SIDE EFFECTS ...bone and joint pain (WHICH I ALREADY FUCKING HAVE!!!!) SO HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW IF ITS MY FUCKED UP BODY JUST HURTING OR THIS FUCKING MEDICATION???????) easy bruising , bleeding , black stools , vommit , puffy face , severe stomach pain , increased urination , fast irregular heartbeat , shortness of breath ,increased thirst , weakness , mood swings , depression , unusual hair growth , thinning skin , agitation , vision changes , unusual skin growths , rash , swelling . I ALREADY HAVE MANY OF THEESE SERIOUS SIDE EFFECTS , SOUNDS LIKE I HAVE BEEN TAKING THIS MEDICATION FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!!! IT AMAZES ME ALL THE POSSIBLE THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG WHEN U JUST TRY AND TREAT ONE PROBLEM ....IF I HAVE ANY UNUSUAL HAIR POP UP ON MY BODY THAT WILL REALLY PISS ME OFF ! THE REST OF EM I PRETTY MUCH ALREADY HAVE LOL JUST WANTED TO VENT AND NO ONE ELSE WILL LISTEN SO I THOUGHT MAYBE ONE PERSON WOULD READ IT , IM DONE BITCHING NOW MY MOOD HAS CHANGED BY MY AGGITATION IS STILL THERE LOL