Patty Cake's blog: "Random things I'm contemplating......."

I'm sitting here playing around on fubar all day, right...My cell phone rings. It's my ex. The one that just left me a couple weeks ago. Telling me that in November he's going to have a house and car and all the works and that he wants me to think about it, and decide if I want to go back to him and move me and my son up to where he is. In the year and some that we were together, he probably worked a total of 7 or 8 months. He got bad into drugs, and made the worst of friends. He's an alcoholic. Yea, baby! Let me jump right back into that shit! HAHAHAHA. How many times are you suppose to forgive someone for the same thing over and over again? Fucking men.

So.... Here it is. There's a guy I know that I'm really starting to like. A lot. The catch is that he doesn't really live close to me. We have always found ways to spend time together, but that isn't as easy anymore. In my past experiences with relationships that start off as long distance, it always ends up with one or both people getting hurt, or worse. I really would like to see this go somewhere, but my common sense is telling me to go fuck myself. lol. I don't want to ruin what I think is a good friendship, and I value the guy very much. I just don't know what to do. I know people always say that you can't help what you feel, but that doesn't mean I have to go and do something stupid right. I just don't know. I guess that mostly I am worried that I will open myself up just to be crushed. I'm afraid too that if I don't at least try, it'll drive him away, and that would hurt just as much. Either way, I feel like I'm kind of stuck. Please feel free to offer any input that might be helpful.