SkyHawk's blog: "Rain.... 4 Cass"

The time that we spend together exists not in day to day life but that of electronic realizations of life and that of our minds. Emotions developed through situational circumstance and statements expressed through the keyboard from the heart and mind All the normal feelings and emotions held within that of a normal relationship are bound by electronic dreams and fantasy that are created within 1’s and 0’s Technicolor bonds that encompass us are black and white, yes or no, 1 or 0 for it is either day or night there is no room for dusk or dawn There can be no maybes or possibilities because within this world of electronic reality there are no shades of blue or black just depression; no shades of red just hate or love The time spent together creating memories are that derived from machines miles apart that express for us to each other pictures and those very words that can be seen It is said that someone could not possibly love another person without ever meeting that person; my answer to that is held within our very own language For words spoken and those written are equivalent in the power that they have in creating or destroying the very existence of our bond in which we have between one another Love cannot exist in a world of true reality without words and words written in this world of electronic dreams are the main basis this electronic world is fueled by Our lives apart is what creates our true realities and the only real possibility that can come of this electronic world is what we do with our emotions, wants and desires The only true resolution is that of human touch and breaking the bonds of this electronic reality to become one by that of the human body Connections of flesh and interactions of the mind flowing as passion through our legs, arms, hands and bodies creating lust and love Now these true feelings and emotions are that of the relationship between our bodies and our mind; yet known by scientists as electronic impulses the mind sends to the body Electronic impulses created by our minds; electronic reality

Bound by reality, driven by emotion he allows himself to fall in love knowing all well it is just a fantasy. Who could love him when he knows nothing of love? Just an average man nothing stands out another number another body another shadow on this earth that will fade with the darkness. Blending in with all shadows a part of the dust that gets swept away with no mind. He is just a friend never making it further always in the back of the mind there only when needed. The reality is just that of a cloud never thought of unless it rains. Like the sunrise taking the back seat to the sunset. Two equally beautiful occurrences yet most sleep through one never seeing it just like the masses in the streets of New York. The majority just do the bump and grind passing by thousands everyday and not seeing them just a mass just faces that have no meaning just in your way. Emotionally they are just images of data in your mind just ignoring them just like breathing, it is there yet you don’t think about it. This man builds beliefs of bits and pieces of information as he clings to the glue of imagination that fills in the blanks; right or wrong. Putting these pieces together to complete a reality of the imagination something not of sustenance yet it is so real he is left to believe in it. The very thought is bound by emotion that is so real he finds himself sitting in a sea of false hopes. Drowning in pain that is created by his need to believe his need to be wanted this desire strangles him like the reality of waking up alone. Loneliness, desire and need cry out in his want to be loved in return. Dark cold nights are the reality for him the empty home the empty bed at the end of each day. If only someone would notice him. If only someone would just pay attention a light in his window of deception a reality check at the back door of pain. For his pain is loneliness created by the need for love something he knows nothing about like an uneducated person never taught just left in the darkness. For the best teacher is that of just doing it blindly the best way we can. We will learn from our downfalls and just continue in life when we do the right thing. For learning to fly can only be accomplished by taking that first step off the ledge and that belief that you can do it you shall allow yourself to soar and any thought of failure shall only bring death. So it comes down to the battle between his mind and his heart. On one hand he has reality (his mind) and the other hand he has hope (obviously his heart). In front of him the reality of a woman the battlefield is the need to be loved. The woman is neither an equation not of predictability nor that of understanding. Words and actions are the pieces of a puzzle that build the battlefield that the heart and mind must duel. For the woman is neither his to have nor is she one to be governed. She will do as she needs and not that of what he needs for his needs are not hers to worry about for her needs are her reality. Two worlds so different yet each is in need of the same desires needs and wants. The mind knows she is out of reach and yet the heart has the desire the need to be loved. Outside influences battle alongside that of the mind proving that she is just fantasy just a want and is untouchable. People warn him people tell him he is a fool all ammunition for the brains attack of that that is real against that of hope and desire the hearts main stronghold. IS he a fool for wanting to believe she loves him wants him desires him or is his heart the one that has the true knowledge of reality. The heart has been wrong before leaving it crushed and torn left empty and cold protecting itself from other harms by building walls of insecurities. This battle will continue as long as he wants as long as she is there for him to desire and need. This battle will of course contain pain and happiness as does any battle. Pain is a constant a reality that is passed off as normal like the sunrise comes first. Pain is dealt with by the knowledge that there is nothing else. For happiness is but a fantasy an illusion. It was asked of him “what if that of which you thought was happiness was just that; a thought.” Were you truly happy or did you think you were happy. Is his joy is his happiness for her just that of a thought an imagination a false sense of reality; if so, the mind will win and that of reality that of pain and depression shall conquer the battlefield in darkness and pain once again. But “What IF”….

I know that I said… You can tell me anything I know that I said… I will be your friend no matter what you say to me I know that I said… You can count on me being there for you I know that I said… That I love you even though I tried so hard not too I know that I said… I miss you, even though I’ve never been with you to miss you I know that I said… You’re the only one I care about What I didn’t know was how hurt I would be, knowing you are with someone else What I didn’t know was how hurt I would be, knowing I can’t give you what you need now What I didn’t know was how hurt I can be not feeling your love back What I don’t know is how high your walls truly are What I didn’t count on was how fast I DID fall in love with you What I didn’t count on was how hurt my heart felt seeing someone say they were yours What I didn’t count on was how I can’t stop thinking of you What I didn’t count on was how much you really do mean to me What I didn’t count on was how easily you can put a smile on my face I want to be the one that makes you feel wanted and loved I want to be the one who makes you glad to be alive I want to be the one you wake up to and fall to sleep seeing I want you to be the one I come home to I want your love, and THAT is something I can’t count on For what I didn’t think about was your needs For I am the selfish one that loves you and wants your love in return Silly me for thinking….

I’m laying in our bed extremely excited watching you undress before me as your day has ended and the release of stress can be exonerated. I have always been aroused by your smooth soft skin, your long flowing hair, your thighs and ass, ooohhh I love to hold them tight pulling you on me. The touch of your skin, the kiss of your lips I adore. You glance over your shoulder and notice the sheets are lifted off the bed, You smile as if to taunt me slightly (as if needed to be taunted) and you turn your head back away from me. Slowly you turn towards me and walk to me, climbing onto the bed and crawling towards me with intent and determination; never glancing away from my eyes you approach hungry. Pulling the sheets away exposing my hard cock you smile and straddled me; you are wet with anticipation and I slide in easily. You begin gently moving forward and back stroking my dick with your tight body. Your hair gently glides up and down my chest. Mmmmm, you feel soooo damn good riding me! Forward and back you sit up and move just your hips in a way I think you are like a goddess of pleasure. You lean closer to me and gently kiss me, over and over again. I reach around you and hold you still so that I can kiss you passionately. Your lips taste soo good. While holding you there I thrust upward to get some of my own sensations into you while I hold you close. You sit up again and ride me some more looking at me with that smile I adore. I run my hands up your thighs and to your waist and pull myself up. We are now looking into each others eyes. You continue to move your hips in a way that you are pumping me like a warm friendly hand. I run my hands up and down your back and lean in to kiss your neck. You let out a gentle moan, I use that opportunity to lick your neck and caress it with my lips. You toss your head back and moan more arching your back slightly giving me more access to your neck. Mmmmm, I am getting very animalistic at this point and lift you up off of me, while I stand up. I lift you up staring into your eyes, YOU KNOW I am going to take you…As I bring you closer to me, you wrap your legs around my waist and let out, a bit of laughter. I put you up against the wall and in the same motion slide myself back into you. You moan out gently “Ohhhh”, as I use my weight to drive deep into you and hold you against the wall. Your very wet and welcumming of my cock. I begin thrusting hard yet passionately. You dig your nails into my back as you, again arch your back. I won’t let you get away! (Not that you are trying). Thrusting harder and harder, I NEED more leverage. I lift you away from the wall. Still inside of you I carry you to the dresser. It has knick knacks and things on it. You hold tight to my neck as I lean over and sweep everything to the floor. I put you down on top of the dresser and spread your legs wide, propping your feet on the edge of the dresser. You sit there wide open to me, looking at me like “What are you waiting for?”, you smile slightly as I move in on you. I slide right into you, you are soooo frickin’ wet!!!! I move my hands down around your ass and then under your legs lifting them up onto my arms. I roll my hands around your thighs and pull you onto me. You lean back using your arms and hands to brace yourself and hold yourself in position. I lean over you and whisper in your ear, “I want you so bad”. I begin fucking you so hard and fast, staring you in the eyes with determination, using my hands to pull you back onto me as I pull back. Each thrust and each back movement is getting more and more intense. You are as eager as I am for that orgasm. You arch your back and release a loud moan followed immediately by consecutive grunts. You are now thrusting your body into mine with each moan. I come hard into you with such excitement hearing and feeling you orgasm. I pull you on me deep and tight to my body. “Ohhhh, Oh yeah!” I come hard and fast, you feel me swell inside you as I push my juices in deep. I sweep you up and carry you back to the bed falling on top of you, STILL inside, the fall drives me DEEPER into you. You feel the muscles of my cock releasing more fluids into you. We look deep into each others eyes as I roll over next to you, STILL inside you, still having more spurts of lust and love flow into you…I lift my hand to the side of your face and gently brush your hair back and smile…We both let out a sigh of exhaustion……..

Skeletal trees dance in the theatrical light storm; swaying and appearing only on queue. The trees sing their song of the ocean waves. The rain tenderly caresses my face while the trees invite me to dance with its breeze wrapping my body in its physical embrace. Stars are hidden in the blanket of clouds giving way to the backdrop of pulsating lights. The rain begins to sing its own song creating a symphony with the trees. Each has its own part in this symphonic soundgarden of rain and wind. My own sounds of walking alone are hushed by the wind as it begins to roar like a lion after its kill. A terrific battle of light against the dark sky slices the imagination with a heart pounding explosion followed by the rumbling sounds of thunder. The great ancient Gods prepare for battle as light and dark, silence and thunder, good and evil battle and dance hand in hand. Every action creates its opposite reaction as the light creates day in the evenings slumber. Waves of sound from the trees the rain and the sky form my concert of dreams, washing my sorrows and creating my release into a one with nature. Forgetting my loneliness if only for the time being I am surrounded with sound and light for which I can fade away into this dramatic symphony and be at peace with myself letting nature fight my battles. For, I am alone in this darkness searching for my own light. The light my heart will know as the one that brings day after each night. A literal creation of warmth flows through my body like an underground spring. Flowing through my veins and flourishing in my heart like a virtual Garden of Eden. Culminating with peace at the end of this chaotic realization, my body is being drowned with the heavens own sorrow washing away my own tears that once cluttered my face. I have arrived at my destination with the soft and gentle sound of the trees now hidden in the dark dancing with no audience for the blanket of night has killed the show.

Angels and sailors Rich girls Backyard fences Tents Dreams watching each other narrowly Soft luxuriant cars Girls in garages, stripped Out to get liquor and clothes Half gallons of wine and six-packs of beer Jumped, humped, born to suffer Made to undress in the wilderness. I will never treat you mean Never start no scene Ill tell you every place and person that Ive been. Always a playground instructor, never a killer Always a bridesmaid on the verge of fame or over He maneuvered two girls into his hotel room One a friend, the other, the young one, a newer stranger Vaguely mexican or puerto rican Poor boys thighs and buttock scarred by a fathers belt Shes trying to rise Story of her boyfriend, of teenage stoned death games Handsome lad, dead in a car Confusion No connections Come here I love you Peace on earth Will you die for me? Eat me This way The end Ill always be true Never go out, sneaking out on you, babe If youll only show me far arden again. Im surprised you could get it up He whips her lightly, sardonically, with belt Havent I been through enough? she asks Now dressed and leaving The spanish girl begins to bleed She says her period Its catholic heaven I have an ancient indian crucifix around my neck My chest is hard and brown Lying on stained, wretched sheets with a bleeding virgin We could plan a murder Or start a religion.

IF … The Biggest Little Word…. If the sunrise came after sunset, Life would come after death If the Oceans were air, We would be fish If our hearts were empty, Love could not exist If mountains were molehills, We would be giants If the universe could be held in a cup, We would be sardines If the sun was cold, We would be snowmen Why is such a little word so huge Not only is it so big, but it rules the world Like Napoleon conquering the world, If is the Jumbo shrimp If this than that, then the other would not be For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction unless IF never happened If never is truly unending, then why do things die If I hated you, I would not cry over losing you If my love for you never blossomed, then I would still be in the dark If we never met, there would be no we IF I could hate a word, that hate would be focused on IF For IF I didn’t love you I would not want you so bad For IF I lived closer to you, I could hold you every day the sun would rise For IF I had more money nothing would keep us apart For IF I had just one more second, one more hour, one more day I could prove to you all that I say has meaning and not be just a line IF IS endless, IF could never happen, IF IF IF IF I could Kill that one little word and not cause suffrage upon our language We could live our lives without pain For If I had never met you I would still be in pain, suffering endless sunsets with out sunrises

Crushed into a million pieces bound together by tears her heart exposed to him, she is willing to take the chance once again of finding love. Just one person to love her, one person to want her and only her. The heart now mis-shapen tattered and discolored pumps again with a glimpse of hope. On the outside he seems sweet, but is it just sugar coating or can he be the one. Endless longing with fallen hopes his exterior doesn't seem to be what she had hoped. Evidence of others she finds his shadows. Monsters lie in his closet awaiting her, hungry for the fresh meat of her fragile heart. Begging he tries to tell her, it's not your heart the monsters want, it's him they slay. To prove his love he must prove his own heart is strong, strong enough for them both to survive. Slowly yet cautiously she walks behind him. The two begin thier journey down the dark path of the forest. The only way out is through the past, through more hurt and more trials. Determined to prove his love he presses forward. Fighting his demons that ruined his past, dark addictions that once conquered his soul, now he must stand against. There is hope, the tattered heart still willing to give him her all stands with him, strong together, weak alone. And so their journey begins. The dark beast lingers and hides waiting for their weakest moment, in hopes the two will drift apart.

Rain You catch a glimpse of me standing in the rain; face skyward Impassioned, you approach me quietly like a panther on the hunt Gentle rain glides down my face, you see tears as well Tenderness replaces the passion as you gently touch my temples with your hands The warmth of your hands slides down my checks and your fingers stiffen as you draw my face to yours. Your lips tenderly caress mine softly working their way across mine My body responds by pulling you close to me, our bodies getting wet by rain and anticipation Your lips become firm and now maneuver mine, manipulating them to your desires The lovers drop to their knees and remove their clothing in the heat of passion Rain cooling their bodies yet fueling their desire like a wild fire across the desert plains Every touch, every movement is like nitrous in a drag car thrusting forward I stop for a moment and draw back giving way to the cool rain falling on your warm chest You look up at me puzzled yet loving seeing my eyes wanting you, I do, every bit of me Needing, desiring, longing I can’t get enough of you I lay back on top of you and slide in as deep as I can to be as close to you as possible, to be with you, to be as one Thrusting rhythmic motions you moan out in pleasure arching your back giving in to me Passion, lust emotions run rampant like a heard of animals escaping their prey moving as one body yet sporadic in nature moving with the others in a mass of urgency. The rain gets more steady, thunder crashes around us, To us, the world has stopped and no other thing in this world exists just are love our passion Senses becoming heightened the two come as one and moan out their passion Drenched in rain, heavily breathing we stare into each others eyes, the portals of the soul Deep is their love, vast is their passion the two lay beside each other Cool rain falling on their hot bodies, smiles flow as their hearts blend as one.