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| What Porty Irishman Means |
 O is for Old Fashioned Love R is for Rabbit T is for Tator Tot Y is for Yummy Kiss I is for Itchy Lips R is for Rum Raisin I is for Itchy Fingers S is for Sweetums H is for Hotness M is for Marshmallow A is for Almond N is for Nut Butter |
| What Neal Means |
|
E is for Enchantment A is for Angel Eyes L is for Lovable |
| You Are 67% Grown Up, 33% Kid |
 Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed. |
For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline.
I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those who call New England home, this is just plain great!
There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc..
So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc. If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley. Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave; South Boston is Southie. The South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east of the former West End. The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night. Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.
**Say it wrong, be shunned**
As many of you may know, I am seriously hooked on Bob Seger's music, have been since I was in High School and anyhow after a very long hiatus from the studio scene, last month he released his latest album "Face the Promise" after a 12 year hiatus and I must say that this has got to be one of the best albums that I have ever heard put out by him.
Anyhow here is my favorite song off this latest release "Wait for Me"
Does “size” really matter?
Why do we men and yes even the women do it too, obsess over the size of certain “body parts”?
I got thinking about this question really hard after getting probably the one millionth piece of spam about on how to “Increase Your Penis Size NOW” normally I just laugh when I get this junk and bounce it right back to the sender without giving it a second thought, but this time I started thinking “Damn this shit is beginning to get really old” and what’s funny too is if I don’t get one of those, I end up with getting one about increasing breast size (last time I checked I did not have any tits, so I guess that leaves me out)
It is really odd how we feel about the size of our penises or our breasts, almost like if we are not a certain size then we don’t measure up to some certain invisible guideline or something. We feel some sort of self-consciousness about ourselves and our definitions as men and women.
Feel free to chime in.
If anyone would like to hear the music to this as well send me a private message and include your email address and I will send it to you ASAP. It is really funny!!!!!
Next, there are the double standards that come into play which can shed both of the sexes in an unfair light in some cases;
1. On looking at the opposite sex in a certain manner;
a. If we men are spotted looking just a little too long at a woman, especially at her “special charms” (ie: breasts or buttocks), we may be called pigs, perverts, lecherous SOB’s, horndogs, or at times even worse than that as well but I will not repeat those. Let’s face it, we have eyes and we are going to look, it is only natural, telling us not to look it like telling us not to breath or to stop our heart from beating. It is a huge challenge.
b. On the other hand, if a woman is spotted looking at a man in such a way it is considered humorous. I remember a lady friend of mine whistling at a bunch of sailors and it was quite acceptable and funny.
c. In my opinion I really don’t think that judge anyone on this, as we are all human and have all been born with the key flaw that makes us human beings, and that is SIN!!
2. Reputations:
a. Men:
i. Now if a man has a “reputation” with the ladies, this may be considered a “good thing” in many circles. He is often referred to as a “ladies man”, a “stud”, a “manly man”, a “lady killer” One of the negative aspects of this however is that he may also be considered “a whoremonger” or “a horndog” among many other terms.
ii. Conversely, if the man for whatever reason is not “that good” with the ladies, he may often become the subject of ridicule. His masculinity may be questioned, his sexuality may come into question or perhaps his past experiences may be the talk of the town and becomes fodder for much gossip. Many a time though, this type of man has high moral standards and he won’t budge from them, or it could be that he is shy for whatever reason, perhaps he had a very bad experience with a woman that he was in a relationship with and now has the attitude that “all women are evil” (I had this attitude for quite a while). Doesn’t anyone ever think that the man in this scenario is really trying to be a decent man?
b. Women:
i. If a woman has a “reputation”, she may the object of ridicule and scorn, called all sorts of names like: “slut”, “whore” and other names may come to mind. She may also be the subject of much unwanted attention from some less than savory men. Many times in reality this woman is just someone who just has a healthy appetite for sex and her sexuality and in reality is someone who despite the fact that she has had many relationships and for whatever reason they were unsuccessful. Yet we are often judgmental of this woman for all the wrong reasons. Or we men may assume that she is an “easy piece of ass”. Oftentimes the reason behind her behavior is that she was the victim of sexual abuse in her formative years and needless to say she became sexualized at an early age and subsequently does not know any better.
ii. Conversely, if the woman who does not have a “reputation”, she is often highly admired and respected. She is considered to be pure and to be in possession of high moral values. Or she may have been victimized at one time in her life and now struggles with intimacy and the related issues that come with it. In other circles, she may also become the subject of ridicule, for example; “she’s a lesbian”, “she’s frigid”, “she can’t keep a man” and the list goes on ad nauseam.
3. Roles within the relationship;
a. For the man;
i. He is expected to be a good provider and protector and this is a valid expectation.
ii. In many cultures and societies he is the head of the house.
1. The upside to the above two statements is that the family as a general rule benefits greatly from his role as long as he does not abuse his role, sadly there are those who do and it sheds all men in a very poor light.
2. Conversely there is also the situation where the man has for many years done a superb job in providing for his family and in treating his family members with much kindness and sadly the other family members look upon this man as being both a “sugar daddy” and they also mistake his kindness for weakness and they begin to take him for granted and give him nowhere near the amount of respect that he is entitled to be given based upon his role within the family unit and the responsibilities that he feels he must bear. Subsequently when the stress of this situation gets to be too much to bear for the man he may react in many ways;
a. He may suddenly just get up and leave, perhaps never to return. (I left on a few occasions because I became so angry that I was afraid of what I might do or say, yet I would return time after time until finally I was pushed out for good)
b. He may snap, perhaps even to the point of violent behavior even where there has never been a history of violent behavior in the past. (I too have been guilty of this, though to my credit I never beat my wife or her kids, I just got nasty verbally and I broke a few material objects; dishes and the like, this is something that I am not too proud of)
c. He may withdraw emotionally and financially when he believes that the only reason and purpose that he is accepted there is to be the jackass to pay the bills and when he finally puts his foot down is often perceived as that he has gone from being all that is good and right in this world to being the most evil and abusive thing that has ever been unleashed upon the face of humanity. (I got to this point out of sheer frustration because I felt that I was being used and many friends who had observed the situation firsthand reassured me that I was in fact being used)
d. In this situation all that he wants to do is to regain his sense of self-respect and dignity. He greatly wants to see his manhood restored. He wants to restore order to his home but yet he is perceived as being a power mad ogre. (Here too I was trying to work things through and yet I was made out to be a monster and it was done so well that even I believed that I was a monster and I hated myself for the longest time. Luckily a couple of very dear friends of mine of the female persuasion helped me to realize that I was in fact not such a monster after all and for that I am so eternally grateful to the ladies who I chose to keep their identities a secret)
iii. There are also those occasions that for whatever reason the man remains in the home as a “stay at home father” and takes on the role of “Mr. Mom” I have got to give those guys credit, my domestic skills only go so far as there are some things that I am just plain lousy and lazy (yes I said lazy) at doing.
1. Sometimes this is done not so much out of choice as it is out of necessity due to health issues or a disability, differences in education levels, the availability of suitable employment for the man with the skill sets that he has.
2. In some cases the man may be better suited for the domestic stuff than the woman is. That is just the way it happens sometimes.
3. Yet these are the guys who are sometimes the object of ridicule and gossip.
b. For the woman:
i. She too bears many burdens and responsibilities;
1. She is the one who bears the children if she so desires to have children.
a. Let’s face it, childbirth is probably the most joyous and painful event that a woman will experience at the same time. Think about it, she is passing an object which in this case is a newborn child that is perhaps 1,000 times larger than the orifice the child is expected to go through.
b. Add to that the labor and the associated pains that go with it prior to the actual birth of the child and if it is an especially long labor it can be very exhausting.
c. Last but not least, there is the nine months of pregnancy that she must go through before the child comes into this world. Consider all the changes that her body must go through during those nine months, the changes in hormones, the mood swings, the weight gained and then add to that the risks associated if it is a high risk pregnancy or if there are complications which in some cases can be fatal for the mother and/or the child.
2. Generally she is the one who is expected to provide the bulk of the nurturing to the children.
3. Add to that if she so chooses not to be a stay at home mom and decides to pursue a career she;
a. Is either highly admired or looked down upon by others for the choices that she made.
b. She has to juggle the demands of home and her career. I truly admire and respect the women who manage that. Most of the time they do it out of necessity, either two incomes are needed to survive or to get ahead or the woman in question is a single mom or for whatever reason the husband does not work outside of the home.
In my humble opinion I think that I have only begun to scratch the surface where all of this is concerned. Hopefully in further installments I will be able to share more of my observations.
During the course of composing this entry my original intended goal was to share a light-hearted and humorous look at the interpersonal dynamics of male and female interactions and relationships from my own perspective as a man, somewhere along the line it has also taken a somewhat serious tone at times which I certainly did not expect it to take and so now I am just rolling with the flow and going wherever the spirit of this leads me and also to get a little bit “religious” here, there is a “Power Greater than Myself” that is coming into play here and I am not about to ignore that because when I do it comes back to bite me in the backside when I least expect it.
I am in one of my “Andy Rooney” type of moods here and I thought I would share with you some of my thoughts and perhaps maybe even give you a good chuckle at the same time even if it may be at my expense, I have no problem with that, through the years not only do I poke fun at other people and things, I have also learned to be able to poke fun at myself as well.
I have been sitting here thinking about what to put up for my next blog on Yahoo 360 and I got to thinking about a phone conversation that I had with a lady friend of mine in another part of the country about a week or so ago along with some other conversations that I have had with a few other women as well about a host of different issues.
We got to talking about different things and in my humorous way I had given each of these dear ladies a man’s point of view (namely mine because the last time that I checked all the male equipment was still there so I would hazard a guess and say that I am still a man) about a few things and at the same time validating some of their thoughts, feelings and concerns as well such as;
Well anyhow as a man I must state unequivocally that in many ways we are also at a very distinct disadvantage and totally defenseless in some areas;
o If we are interested, we tend to let “the little head” do our thinking for us, to coin a phrase “A stiff prick has no conscience”
o If we are not interested, not only is giving the woman a slap (something that I do not approve of anyhow) out of the question, it is unacceptable, it also against the law and will more than likely land you in jail. Secondly if we refuse a woman’s advances, we may possibly get ridiculed about our masculinity.
2. Women can fire off some very good comebacks, this is my favorite;
o Man: “If I ever saw you naked I would die a happy man”
o Woman “If I ever saw you naked I would die laughing”
3. Women if need be can turn on “the waterworks” to get us to do their bidding. If we do it we are being wimps or manipulative.
4. On the bedroom front;
o We cannot fake physical arousal, it is either erect or it is not. There is no grey area on this matter. There are times when we may only get semi-rigid and this is just as frustrating for us as it is for the woman, especially when it is a kind of woman that “we are just dying to throw her our best hump”
o It is also kind of hard to hide arousal as well when we have that moment when we are so damn hard we could crack walnuts with the damn thing.
o We cannot fake an orgasm; “the proof is in the pudding” so to speak. Not only that when we are in the midst of getting a nut we turn in to Goofy as our bodies are telling our minds “Who cares if I look stupid?”
o When we have an orgasm, we can only have them one at a time, we are NOT multi-orgasmic. We need to recover for a while if we want to go at it again
5. Outside of the bedroom;
o We have all had those moments when the damn thing takes on a life all its own and it comes alive at the worst possible moment, I know those are the times when I wish I could just take it off and put it away until I need to use it.
o Or you feel the urge for no obvious reason and it is just driving you nuts
Let’s face it, we are easily victims of our own masculinity, the good old testosterone kicks in and takes over and our dicks start doing our thinking for us and we get led around by our dicks and the women know this and use it to their advantage (they are no fools). Hell they might even grab hold of it and then they definitely have our attention and they have us under their control whether we are aware of it or not, whether we are willing to admit it or not..
You wake up in the morning and you find that your little buddy has been awake for five minutes before you and the woman that you share your bed with looks at it and asks “What are you thinking of honey?”, Hell we don’t have a damn clue, we just woke up, luckily a quick piss usually takes care of that and things are back to normal. Too bad that is the only time some of us can experience a “blue steel” hard on.
Age plays a role in our overall physical functions and “Mr. Happy” is not exempt from the conditions of age.
Let us not also forget the various dysfunctions that we all may have suffered at one time;
Now on the subject of “Girl Watching”
Let’s face it. Any human being that has been born with a penis and testicles and has functioning eyesight is going to look at any human that was born with a vagina and breasts. It is all part of our natural human instinct. It really comes into play if the female in question has some source of attraction that catches the attention of the male species.
Let me share a personal example:
Back this past Christmas while I was living in North Carolina, I was at a lady friend’s home for Christmas dinner, and mind you that her and I share a strictly platonic relationship even though we kid each other quite a bit, anyhow she was crouching down to get something out of one the cabinets under the sink and I just happen to catch a glance of her thong panties that she was wearing that day. As much as I was trying to be a gentleman and NOT look, she no sooner busted me when she says “Now Neal don’t be looking at my thong” needless to say I glanced again and I am sure I was turning beet red as well given that I was busted. But let’s face it, telling me not to look is like telling me not to breath or to stop my heart from beating, even worse, imagine this, set a plate of very fresh chocolate chip cookies if front of a small child and then tell that child not to eat any of them and then you walk away. Ask yourself this, what is that child going to do? Anyhow, if we are looking it is because what we see is a pleasant sight to see, we are admiring beauty for what it is, so ladies next time, do not take offense we are just admiring what you have been blessed with. Also ladies, I know that you are also guilty of looking too so what makes you any better than us?
Anyhow, I think I have rambled enough for right now and I will put this out there for all of you to see and to give me your feedback.
There will be more to come on this and other topics so keep my blog bookmarked for your viewing pleasure.
Remember too that what I post here is intended to be light-hearted, humorous, insightful and at times thought provoking.
Let the comments begin!!!!
