I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
2. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
4. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
5. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
6. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
7. Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
8. Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
9. Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
10. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
11. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
12. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
13. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
14. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
15. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
16. Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
17. Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
18. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
19. Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
20. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
21. Does fuzzy logic tickle?
22. If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
23. I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
24. How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
25. How much faith does it take to be an atheist?
26. I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.
27. If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is fog horn made out of?
28. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
29. If atheists say there is no God, who do they think pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
30. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
31. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
32. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
33. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
34. What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?