Dutch2lips's blog: "Poetry"

I look in the mirror not pleased with what I see There stands this old lardbucket grinning at me Her skin is rimpled and her hair is grey Her war against gravity is a dismay Her breasts are sagging, her belly is too Hair growing on chin, pfft fit for a zoo I look at her nose, its growing longer I look at her face, the lines deeper and stronger I see the under-chin all old people have I see the lips and the way she laughs Fifty years shes been on this earth Has wedded a idiot and has given birth The two things in life that give her hope Her kids are the reason that she can cope A love found online but never in bed Ashamed of her figure it has got to be said Love conquers all the people proclaim But they've not counted on a females shame The world is for the young and forever obsessed With glowing tight skin and perky breasts A lover she'll not have again, not even a taste This is the truth that this old woman must face Where does that leave this person I see Waiting for death and that person is me! ©dutch2lips May 6th, 2006

I am clinging on the slippery slopes of the ever enticing pits of depression, sometimes falling on my knees, sometimes crawling but forever trying to get out! ©dutch2lips May 12th, 2006

My work is done, 10 hours shift The house cleaned with fanatical drift The clothes are washing, shopping done All windows blinking in the sun Sitting a moment to unwind Desolation creeps up from behind Nothing to keep your mind from wandering No chores left to distract your pondering It's scary to relax, to touch the pain It's better to keep numbing my brain I am terrified of what I'll find lurking in the corners of my mind Conversations popping up in my head Images of you and me in bed And again I'm thrown back into dark The void overwhelming and painfully stark My heart swells up, through my eyes released Each thought, each tear, my pain increased Drowning in desperation, undiluted sorrow I'm terrified of the future, even tomorrow Then I fight the tears, the pain in my heart I must stop myself from falling apart But baby, I miss you, I miss you so This pain will remain That much I know ©dutch2lips August 20th, 2006

I still see the remains in my head To the hell those iron paths led I see the fear in the older folks See the tears this fear invokes Hoards are pushed in like cattle Even breathing is a battle Temperatures are unbearably high Keep standing up even after you die No room to move, not even a twitch Those that die thrown into a ditch The rest are sorted into groups All treated like dirt by the troops Each Jew transported this way Gypsies, Romans, all convey The same road taken, straight to hell Nobody had time to say farewell Once in the camp, once sorted out Those that are young take another route The old and tiny are all transported Gas filling chambers untill distorted Trying to run, even gauging out eyes Every one fighting their final demise Inhumane death found in efficient ways Soldiers working hard for Hitlers praise Those that are young were put to work Clean up the atrocities, some went berserk Piling the bodies in huge dug out holes Muttering prayers for their lost souls No food, no hygiene, nothing each day Each person sliding deeper in decay Factories built to process human waste Each dying soul with ten more replaced Ovens for burning, ashes spread out Reports made by German scouts Of the problems and what's the solution Stamped those humans as pollution Their buildings remain, the souls still roam Too violent a death for them to go home Never forget this tale and its morbid construction The cold and effective way of this mass destruction WARNING The link below has authentic pictures of this holocaust and are not suited for young children. i2.photobucket.com/albums/y40/Dutch_2_lips/Personal/auschwitz.jpg ©dutch2lips September 5th, 2006

Brain vs Heart I wonder why I put myself Out on the line, I let you delve My heart is weeping in this pain Why can't I use only my brain? My brain is angry with my heart Allowing me to fall apart The hurt is huge, close to breaking Taking all, my brain forsaking My tears connected to the pain I let you hurt me once again I sit here waiting 'till you come Begging you for that single crumb What have you made me into now NO! It is me, for I allow I'm a wreck, can't stop this crying Inside me, my heart is dying Soon my brain takes over, takes charge This I know - my heart is too large I can't take much more, can't survive Soon nothing is left to revive ©dutch2lips July 3rd, 2006

Do it baby For years I suffered through you Always beating me black and blue I finally found the beast in me No longer wish to turn and flee (chorus) Do it baby, raise that hand Do it baby, get up and stand Grab the belt and make me bleed Force me down to eat your seed With that blow I splintered your bones Hammering 'till I killed the groans I left you bleeding on the floor Never looked back walking out the door (chorus) Do it baby, raise that hand Do it baby, get up and stand Grab the belt and make me bleed Force me down to eat your seed I stopped you dead in your track With one strike I broke your back Skin and bones will be found one day A stinking festering heap of decay (chorus) Come on baby, raise your hand Come on baby, get up and stand Belt me again until I bleed Come on baby, raise your hand Come on baby, get up and stand Belt me again until I bleed From your grip I'm finally freed ©dutch2lips October 21st, 2006

This job I have now, I really love doing To obtain this position took some pursuing The comments, the quirks that flew around my ears I mentally turned them into good cheers Eyebrows are raised in a steadily manner Even my timetable questioned by the planner For I roam the streets only at night My work I do by the dashboard light Taxi? I see the wave, hear the call I am transport for one and for all A way to get you home safe and sound A outlet for your troubles, homeward bound A woman driving so late in the night Don't you have fears, don't you have fright? These are the questions directed at me A female cabbie, a strange thing to see. ©dutch2lips April 27th, 2006

At the supermarket, reach to grab a tin A sharp pain wells up from deep within A word you used quite often, appeared and once again my heart is speared Your name seems to pop up everywhere In the middle of the row I stop and stare Sinking, remembering days of bliss This is where you gave me that kiss Tears, uncontrolled, roll down my cheek My reflection shows me to be somber and bleak Shrugging I try concentrating on food Hate this slow drowning, hate this mood Mechanically I put things in my cart I still can't believe that we're apart Numbed yet capable of feeling pain Angry that I start crying again I wonder, what is it that I've done in this life? To be thrown headfirst in this cesspool of strife My heart shrinks thinking of you and your pain Your words pounding relentless in my brain "I need to leave you if I'm to survive All I wish is to make you my wife But 27 years are too much to take Your mind I love, is this love then a fake?" You go on, saying "Your personality is unique All I am doing is compare, finding all others weak I love you Anne but I'm hurting too much I need to feel, need your personal touch" Smiling small through my stream of tears I know we'll stay friends for many years One day I hope you and me shall meet On that day your wife and kids I will greet Then I can hug you for the very first time I'm puckering my lips now in pathetic mime I can touch your skin, inhale your scent The lacking of this is everlasting torment I startle when a shopping cart hits my hand Dazed I find myself near the fruit stand Green apples, your fruit, they seem to mock I'm surrounded by fog, still deep in shock Heading for the exit I stand in line to pay Never in my life will I forget this day The day true love splintered and broke me in two This day, my love, is the day I lost you ©dutch2lips