Demie Dont shout to me if you are only h...'s blog: "Poetry of Assorts If it is marked NSFW then don't read while at work..."

Sitting here alone. Feeling miserable and not sure why. Wishing I wasn't alone, Knowing he will be home later. This knowledge doesn't help me know. Sigh, i'm sitting here alone.

I open my eyes and look around warily. Once again all I see is fog. I walk slowly in the direction in which I am needing to go. As I step further into the fog, I start to feel the slightest of touch. I can feel the despair, heartache, and other emotions of those who reach out and touch me but, I cannot see them. As I continue walking the weight of the fog grows to such a dense that, silent tears start to fall down my face. After a few minutes I reach my destination and when I enter that place, at least for a little while I have been released from the fog.

I sit inside with the all the curtains closed, and the lights turn on. This is an attempt to simulate the sunlight in my mind. Try so hard to be cheerful but, it doesn't ever seem to last. Unless, I am curled up with a loved one. I go outside to the things that cannot be ignored and I feel as if the cold air is ripping through my clothing. I do my damndest to stay warm and to stay upright, falling because of snow and ice sucks. It seems that I am always defeated in my task of staying warm. The frustration of it all comes out in the only way, I know to release my feeling besides hopping on the computer and writing, or finding some game to randomely kill shit, I cry. Which temporarily warms my face because if tears become cold, then it means my heart has died.... Drowning in the Cold.