casey's blog: "poems "

today i relapsed again it,s been hard for me to find my self and not to fall in to darknes again i fight it so it does not happen again

all the scars on my heart are giving me problems i need to let go of the past and move on and learn to heal and let my self feel 

but my problem is that my past has a hold on and it will not give up its control so i take control and learn to forgive but not forgot 

and look forward to the future and find my self again and i know have good friend who care about me and understand how i feel 

and will always help me with life there are my online family and i love them all and i meet a new friend we just started talking but 

she is very sweet and great listener 

hope is the amazing feeling you get when you feel like just maybe things will get better for you that if you wait 

and keeping hoping it will come hope keeps you going you just have to believe in your self and never lose 

who you are no matter how hard things get the world will try to crush you life will get you down people will try

to put you down tell them to   go away your who you are and no should want to change that if they do they are not worth it 

show the real you not some mask you wear to fit it  the hell with fitting in be you and find real friends and love with come to you 

if you hope and wait and keep blieveing in your self 

all it takes is one person to tell its okay to push you out of hidng make you show who you really are and that one person

shows you how to fee again and to be your self and not to care what others think you are you and thats what matters 

when you find that one person hold on to them love them with all your heart becuase they are speical to you and will

always have a place in your heart and be so dear to you that you cant help but feel close to them and when you see the real you

they smile and are proud of you becuase you made the change you come out hiding and they are ones that feel the most happy 

becuase you opened up to them and trusted them and you feel so happy and loved now that you have that speical someone that 

is always there for you and loves the real you this to my speical someone without i would not be the real me again i love you with my all heart luna jade 

jen was a wondering through the woods by his house looking for the lake when he got lost and ended up at sign that said

come here fun and games wait with in  jen goes in and finds nothing but dust and old games that dont work he trys to leave 

cant the door is locked and wont open so he goes looking for another way out he finds a way to basement but again there 

nothing there so he looks around some more still nothing or no body there he sits down for a min and the lights go out 

then when they come back on jen is somehere else its really hot and he cant see anything over the smoke and mist 

he finds his away around to a big round room where vampires and witches and warlocks are dancing in this rain that 

is red jen finds out they are danceing in blood and jen is there new play toy he trys to run but they catch him 

and someone walks out of the middle of the room and says so your  the new mumber to our little club 

jen asks what club the men bends down and says my name is kain and this is the club of horrors and your trapped 

here forever so what will you become a vampire warlock shapeshifter demon or a little of all of them jen says a little of

all of them kain says okay then your crossbreed welcome to the club now jen this will hurt then more people come to him 

they bite me and inject him with shots of red fluid that burns and sets his body on fire after about a hour jen can feel his not human 

anymore he is a crossbreed and damned and trapped to live his life in this place so when you see a sign in the woods that says come in turn around if you can 

i have this shell around me it keeps me safe but hiding from everyone but now im coming out of the shell

leaving it behind being my self again showing who i really am to everyone and i have one sweet person 

to thank for this she has been very helpful and she makes me feel so comfortable all the time 

becuase of her i know i can do it i know i can come out of my shell and that she will be there for me 

i look in this mirror and i hate what i see i have become a hallow shell of who i was

i lost my self in this void of pain and lose without you my world is coming down the

darknes is closeing in and i feel dead inside why cant i let go of this pain inside

my self and be me again i feel so dead and life less the drugs make me numb 

but the pain comes back again and again i hate this feeling of hopeless

someone heal my broken heart or make the pain go away im lost 

in this hell i made im losing everything im just a ghost of who i was 

the mirror tells a story of another me the one i losted after you died

now i feel some life in me im not empty any more i want to live again 

im tired of being numb so save my soul and heal my broken heart