FantazyBxtch's blog: "POEMS"

Current mood: determined LOVE SCOOP Up all night in agony wondering how to set pain free Wishing I could hold you tight, putting up a lonesome fight I'm determined to show you I love you and I care I wish on a star and pray that we'll perhaps be together I think about you all the time I love the way you smile and how you talk your way of life and how you walk I stress to see what others cannot In you I saw a battle we both fought A challange between what is not ordinary The same fear in you..... I carry I guess yu can't yet seem to see With each other our souls will be free To love each other whole heartedly!!

WHAT WILL YOU DO Well baby your losing me, Letting me go without a fight Tell me honey what are you doing, does it feel right Being all alone in the winters night without True Love to hold you tight I sit and think about the past, we really having a blast I sit here in the present and see my love you that is becoming trashed I start to think about the future all your games will crash As I am all alone without you in my life, Will you Miss me What will you do when hear angels say my name in the breeze What will you do when see my face in your dreams and the beautiful seas What will you do when you hear people sweetly say my name What will you do when you think about everything you have done to me... all the games What will you do when you think of everything I have done for you.. I should be in shame What will you do when you think about my lovefor you and it's me you suddenly miss What will you do when I am gone and you long to have me to hug and kiss What will you do when you want that love again but the love is a one chance love and now you can only make a wish What will you do when I am thousands of miles away and it is me you can't not seem to find What will you do when your friends remind you of the one true thing you had you blew it out of line What will you do when you realize you want this love to be forever but you've run out of time What will you do when you remember how long I would wait for you and here I'd sit What will you do when you finally make up your mind and through the ashes you shift What will you do if we cross paths again someday will you be brave What will you do when you try to reach for me and the memory of pain makes me run away Tell me Baby what will you do when you realiaze I do truely and faithfully love you Tell me Darling what will you do when you realize you really did love me to Tell me Sweetie what will you do if I have moved on and your the one left hurt and blue Tell me Sexi what will you do if it is not you I should have married Tell me Honey what will you do whenit is not your children I carried Tell me my Love what will you do when you finally realize everything you had and all the love in the world that was yours alone yet it's to late because today I was burried!!

BLACK ROSE Current mood: indescribable Category: Writing and Poetry BLACK ROSE Suddenly the world looks bleak and the fires of hell look comforting in this emotional battle that can not be saved by you The eternal hell that I live in has lasted a bit to long darkness blinds me from joy and love leavng my heart coated with stone Does life have but one path to follow, walking endlessly on a road that seems to be a one way travel into that forever darkness Turning twisting, can I get a glimpes of light to back track to, Fuck I'm stuck, no mercy, no way back nothing to help keep me sane I'd cast my eyes upon the dark with salty tears, it burns, reaching out touching brick wall surrounding me, looking up close dark crimson in color, like blood Lonely heart, mangled torn beyond repair, collisions of truth and dreams, lost what's real, reality is where.... what's right..what's wrong..... trust is it scorn Choise then given, what to think... Black Rose so rare thorns dripping blood, to end it...be free...no emotion, nothing for eternity..do I dare, taste but one drop, lips a mere inch, I hear STOP Was that a scream, listening close, I hear you, shake my thoughts..I am losing it, so close, one drip upon my tongue it will be over, done, pain confusion....gone Walk alone, by myself yet my heart will no longer ache, before the blood can touch my tongue pulled back yanked from death, out of no where there you stand, but......who the hell You reach out, I draw back, you try to ease me come to light the Black Rose now gone, now what to do I'm afraid, who are you my heart can't bear it, I can't do it, turning away I try to run your not letting go...look into my eyes...lips will soon touch, my heart will fly, a new love born.. now new fear if it breaks, pain again, surly my heart will stop....then the blood of the Black Rose I will taste and I will Die!

Beyond Betrayed Current mood: You don't wanna know trust me!!!!! My mind fills with wonder, my heart with fright. Trusting won't be easy not with being lied to. People whom you should be able to trust, turn around screw with your head, emotions, taking you for granted. What a fool I was to believe I had such good friends, but now I see! The grass is not greener, the sun was in my eyes. constantly wondering who's true. Pain of those who had me fooled. No more happiness, only tears! Which way do I go, which path do I take? What's the point anymore?? I can close my eyes to the things I do not want to see, cover my ears to things I wish not to hear, but I can't close my heart to the things I don't want to feel. I'm sick of smiling for myself and everyone else. No one really knows the shit I've been through and put up with. What I have to deal with now, the new shit that keeps on coming in. Weather their my so-called friends or not, I mask my sadness, hide how I feel about myself, my life, the people in it..... just so they don't bxtch that I complain to much. Knowing all the while they talk smack about me behind my back. I've noticed the worst feeling is to be there with them, on the phone with them, even on the net, watching them smile and act all cool and true. Knowing I can't trust them, they still believe I know nothing, like I'm the fool. What can I do? Nothing just pack it up. I know one day it will come back their way and my pain will surely fade. Then I'll have nothing more to say to those so-called friendsuntil the day when I'll be able to laugh in their face asking them how it feels to be so betrayed!! Best of all I won't lower to their level, it won't be me to betray them. I'm better than that, better than them at what is call being a true friend. I won't sink to that level of patheticness, betraying them just to get revenge. I'll just be me and bite my lip and keep smileing, knowing that all along it no longer me that's the fool, the fool is you!

I DON"T UNDERSTAND Current mood: confused I DON'T UNDERSTAND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO I DON'T UNSERSTAND WHY I DON'T GET THE POINT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE CAN'T HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE I DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE HURT I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW I COULD BE SO BLIND I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE SMALL PRINT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I CAN BE HAPPY I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I CAN'T HELP MYSELF I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'D WANT ME I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW I DID THIS I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S ALL MY FAULT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE MET AGAIN I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE CAN'T MOVE FASTER I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I AM WRITING THIS I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE TEAR BLINDING MY EYES I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MY ICE HEART COULD MELT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I DO THE THINGS I DO I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I FEEL THE THINGS I FEEL I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I DON'T UNDERSTAND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THIS IF YOU CAN!!

Current mood: depressed Category: Writing and Poetry Poem I wrote a week ago WHY Dark in the cold is where I lie Cold and alone in the dark I will die No one will know or even care Everyone will say "Oh was she still here" I'll be grown yet completely alone I wanted to stand in the middle of the ocean What I really wanted was a deadly potion I wanted to scream was her beautiful name My heart to weak, I could not speak I am to hurt inside Burning in the core of me was the weakness everyone can now see My Spirit can not let go When there is so much I don't know The time my dreams and I have shared The pain of knowing she'll never be here The answers I do not know, like the Why Causes so much pain deep inside I remember crying all day and night I want to know why it does not feel fair or right Torturing inside I close my eyes Yet the pain still there closing in My God Please help me understand Why does my dream not fit your plans?