Havok's blog: "NSFW writing"

                Sometimes, the greatest nights are the ones that you never see coming.   Alone on my couch, I was just getting home from work and had no idea that it was one of those nights. 

It was a night just like any other, I got out at 8 and came straight home.  Took off my pants, turned on the tv and hopped on the computer to check messages and see if anyone interesting was online.  It took about 30 seconds for me to get an IM from you.  I thought it was a little strange since I hadn’t heard from you in weeks, and but I was still excited to finally hear from you.

“Hey” was all your message said, but nothing more was needed.

“Hey, whats up?”   I asked you back. 

“I want to do a shoot.”  You told me kind of taking me by surprise.  For as long as I have known you, you were never interested in doing a shoot.  Why now I thought?  Why all of a sudden?  I had asked you probably 50 times, and it always ended up being some excuse about how you didn’t think you were good enough, or have any interest in doing it. 

“I’m serious.  Very serious.  I want to be sexy!”  you told me before I had a chance to even reply back to you. 

I was more than a little skeptical, and assumed that there had to be some other motive behind it.  All I could think was that you had met a new guy and really wanted to impress him.  All these years of secretly wanting you, and trying to do everything I could to show you that, but never having the balls to just come out and tell you.. and now I get to finally see  you get sexy and it won’t even be for me.  Just my luck. 

“Are you really sure you want to do this? “  I asked.  Knowing you wanted to do this now, and assuming what I thought you wanted them for, I had pretty much changed my mind.  I was jealous, and I wasn’t even sure why.  It wasn’t like we were together, or even that close.  We had slowly faded apart and now this changes everything. 

“You have never done any pictures that are even close to being revealing, what made you change your mind now?  What makes you think you would even go through with it?  I asked hoping to hear back something other than what I expected. 

“ You don’t come off as the type to really do it.”  I said hoping to throw a little bit more doubt out there before you could reply. 

“I changed my mind.  I really want to feel sexy.  You don’t think I could do it?”  You wrote back turning it around on me. 

“I think you could do it if you wanted to, but I don’t know why you do.  You never had any interest in it before.  You’ve always been shy about your body.  I think you could be very sexy, I just don’t want you to do something you really don’t want to do.  Or put you in a situation you aren’t ready for.  I don’t want you to ever have any regrets.”  I told you, still hoping you weren’t serious. 

“I want to do this.  When are you free? “ You asked, not backing down.

“I have plans tomorrow night, and then most of the weekend Ill be in and out doing stuff.  I might not be able to until next week.”  I explained hoping to buy sometime. 

“Well what about tonight?”  You asked.  “Do you have time tonight?”

“I could do it tonight, but are you really sure about this?  Aren’t you too shy?” I asked as a last hope. 

“Check your phone” You told me.

I looked down to see a new text from you that I didn’t even hear it go off.  I pushed view and a picture loads.  A close up of the more perfect breasts that I have ever seen.  My mouth dropped.  Even without your face in the picture, I could still tell it was you and not a fake or joke.  I didn’t even know what to say, I instantly started to be turned on.   My heart started racing, and beating so hard I could feel my head pound  even with all the blood rushing to another part of my body. 

All I could text back was “OMG..  wow” as I saw you sign off. 

A few seconds later a reply from you came back up saying “Still think I am too shy?”

My mind raced and I wanted you now more than I have ever wanted anyone before in my life.  I wanted to do a shoot with you since the day I met you, and everything was finally falling together.  Had I not been so turned on, I would have said no to the shoot because of jealousy.  There was no way that I was going to let this chance pass by. 

“You really want to do this tonight?” I sent wondering if I should take care of things before you got here or not. 

“Yep.”  You text back a few minutes later.

“So, what are you bringing?  Do you need to get stuff together? “   I asked, trying to figure out how much time I had to get ready.

“No, I have everything I need with me.   When will you be ready?”  You asked.

“I can be ready whenever.  My lights are already out, I just need to put up a background if we use one.  How long until you are ready?”  I flat out asked. 

“I had just stopped at the mall to pick something up, I will be there in 5.  The last text said. 

I had never been this nervous in my life.  The girl of my dreams is coming over in less than 5 minutes, I have clothes all over my floor, place a mess, and a raging hard on.  On top of it all, I need to take sexy pictures of her to help her impress some guy I would bet everything on that I would hate. 

All I could do was throw everything in the closet, pick up the apartment as fast as I could in true bachelor fashion, and wipe the sweat off my forehead just in time to hear a knock on the door.  “Wow that was fast” went through my head.  

I opened the door and you were standing there dressed like I normally see you.   Black sort of tight work pants, and a tank top.  All you were carrying was a large back from that mall with something in it that looked like a shoe box.   Again, this felt strange to me.  I have done a lot of shoots and most girls bring so many clothes I wonder if they are moving in.  More so with the ones that have never done it before.  They get lost in options, so they bring it all.

“Do you need help with everything else?”  I asked assuming there was stuff still in the car.

“No, this is all I need.”  You said in a matter of fact sort of tone.

“Ok, well if you want sexy, we can just do some shots on the bed.  I have it so that it is all white right now, with just the white wall behind it.  That should work to start, and we can change it from there.  I’ll go get Chico on there to help me with test shots to get the lighting right while you get ready”.

“Chico?”  You asked. 

“Chico is my roomie and assistant.  He is the stuffed monkey in some of my pictures.  He helps out with test shots and holds stuff for me sometimes.”  I said not even realizing how stupid that sounds I say it so often,

“Oh, ok.”  You said as you went in the bathroom and closed the door. 

I got Chico out and did my test shots.  It didn’t take me that long at all, with most of the settings being the same from a shoot a few days ago.  I took him off the bed and set him on the floor, and heard the bathroom door open.  That was fast.  Most people seem like they are in there camping out, I even wonder if I should send in pizza or something from time to time. 

“Everything ok?”  I called out from the living room in case you needed something.

“I’m fine, I’m ready” You said as you walked in the room and around the corner.

My mouth dropped as I saw you.  You walked into the room wearing only a little black g string and a pair of strappy stiletto high heels.  It instantly dawned on me why you didn’t bring more stuff with you.  Apparently you didn’t need it.  

What was even more shocking to me was how confident you were when you walked in.  I honestly never expected this out of you, it was like you were someone else.  That’s when all the blood left my lower body and came smashing up into my head as my whole body raged with jealousy.  This must be some special guy I thought. 

I have never gone from being so turned on, to so turned off so fast.  I am not sure if you could tell by the look on my face, but your attitude seemed to change as well.  The cocky swagger fell away pretty fast, and you just sat on the end of the bed now covering the chest you flaunted just seconds before.

Being professional, I was going to do this and do it how you wanted no matter how my personal feelings were getting to me.  If I was going to do this, I was going to do it right and make sure you loved the pictures as much as I had always told you that you would.  

Picking up my camera, I stepped back and did a quick look through the lens to get a better feel for how I should ask you to pose first.  Your face was now beat red and I could tell something changed in a hurry.  The jealous part of me had hoped that this would happen, but the photographer side of me felt horrible.  I knew how hard it was to put yourself out there like that, and I knew you weren’t the type all along. 

“Are you ok?”  I asked as I turned off both of my big studio lights leaving the room almost dark with the exception of a little bit of light coming in from the hallway.  “We can talk about this before we shoot anything.  I want you to be comfortable.” 

“I don’t know.”   You said as a tear started to stream down your face.  I set the camera down and sat next to you.  I wasn’t sure what to say with all of the emotions running around in my head.  Part of me happy, part disappointed, even part of me wanted to bust out the I told you so. 

All I could muster was “It’s ok.  We don’t have to do this”. 

“It’s not ok.”  You said defiantly.  “You are SO stupid, you know that?”  You said looking me directly in the eyes.  I could see fury buried behind your eyes, and I could tell that you saw confusing in mine. 

“I DO NOT want to have my picture taken.  I never have.  I HATE how I look.”  You told me honestly. 

“Why do this then?”  I asked genuinely confused.

“You.  I did this for you.  You shoot these pretty girls all the time, and I thought this is how I would get you to notice me”.  You said breaking into a heavier cry.  “Now I feel like an idiot.” You added.

“I’ve always noticed you.  I really don’t care if we shoot or not.  That has never mattered to me.  Not once have I ever thought differently about you because you wouldn’t shoot with me.  Yes, I wanted you to, but NEVER would I want you to do something you weren’t comfortable with.  I have wanted you forever.  You were the one that never noticed me.  I have always been here waiting.”

“Really?”  You asked behind a sniffle.

“Yes..of course.  I’ve been crazy about you forever, and knowing you were going to do all this and go this far for me, that just proves to me I was right all along.”

  “Now it is my turn to make an ass out of myself.”   I said as I pushed you back on the bed and rolled over the top of you.   I looked deeply into your eyes and said “I love you” for the first time of what I hoped to be many more to come. 

A little giggle out of you and I my heart unclenched from the tight little ball that it had squeezed itself into.  I finally said it after all of this time. 

“I love you too” you said back to me.

I leaned in and found your lips with mine giving you a slight kiss, hoping it wasn’t too much too soon.  The kiss was returned and quickly escalated several levels into a deep intense kiss that would make most people that have never felt that level of passion before a little uneasy. 

I felt your hands slide almost all the way up my back, before I realized they were up there pulling my shirt up over my head.  We had to stop kissing just long enough to let it pass, and resumed right after.  

Every nerve in my body was on edge, every little touch was magnified many times over from all the emotion changes and the shear amount of passion finally being released.   It was a moment that I had dreamed about with you many times over.

Out of breath, I needed to get some air.  I broke the kiss and in between gasps managed to kiss your cheek and down the side of your neck.  Finding the right spot apparently, I felt your body tighten as I kissed and gave a slight suck there. 

It had been a long time since I was in a situation like this, but usually I am more than willing to take control.  Feeling out of practice, and not wanting to push my luck, I stayed with kissing, and just light touching, waiting to see if you would make the next move. 

As if on cue, you put your hand on my shoulder and pushed me off to the side.  Then pushed me over onto my back and straddled me leaning in to kiss me.  You had joked around before that you were wild once you got to trust someone, but I never thought it was more than just talk.  For the first time, I started to second guess that. 

Your mouth found its way kissing down my body until it got to my jeans.  Like a wild woman, you ripped the button undone with your teeth, and then pulled down the zipper.   That released so much pressure, I felt like I finally had room for all the blood flow that had accumulated down there. 

You grabbed a handful of fabric from both sides of my body and pulled.  Boxers and jeans came down all the way at the same time in a bundled mess around my ankles.  Leaving me now almost more naked than you, and at full attention.  

You hopped up next to me on the bed giving me another long kiss reaching down with one hand to feel what you have done to me.   I used my legs to kick my legs free from the fabric that was binding them together at the same time. 

Wrapping my hand around your little g string, I used it to pull you in closer to me and began kissing you again.  You stopped for a second and said “You like that?  I just bought it for you”.  Pausing only for a second, I said “I’ll buy you another one.” And ripped it in the back and then again at the side to take it completely off. 

You pulled me back down on top of you, as we resumed kissing.  Your hand reached down and wrapped around my cock pulling it in towards your body.  I stopped kissing for a second to ask “Is this what you really want?”   You looked back up at me and said “More than anything”.  Then you asked me the same question, “Is this what YOU really want?”  without any hesitation, I said “I just want you any way I can have you.”  We went back to kissing you as I let your hand guide me in gently. 

In a single night, every basic human emotion that I often wondered if I was losing touch with, raced through my body.  It was a night that started like any other, but became one that I would never forget.   It was intense, passionate, and steamy, but it didn’t compare to what happened the night after…   but that is another story, for another time ;).