tr3tr3's blog: "perceptions"

i walked in this place with no intentions on ever meeting a beautiful woman that could help me forget all i've been going thru and ever since seeing you i'v ebeen wanting to know you don't know you but i've already had visions of holding you i'm sorry baby i'm not trying to scare you away i just believe if u feel it you should mean what you say so here's the truth i just wanna lay this on the line i'm so into your eyes and attracted to your smile forgive me if i seem nervous but i dont usually do this if i fumble with my words its basically cause im new to this so be patient with me let me get words in order hold on a second let me take a sip of some water umm okay where was at hmm let me see i was explaining to you why it is i'm feeling what i see look baby i don't know you but i feel like i know you and if given the chance one day i'm a show you that you can place your heart in my hands for me to hold and i swear to the heavens that i'll never let it go and i know that this may seem a little bit crazy but this feeling that i'm getting from u is so amazing i look into your eyes and can clearly see this vision of us living together raising a few children with the white picket fence and the kids in the park and the dog in the yard and the walks after dark i see the tear in my eyes as you walk down the aisle in that long white gown as our parents smile and then you take my hand and we recite our vows and exchange our rings and head back down the aisle but this time together as man and wife u carry my last name now we're bonded for life you've made me the happiest man the world has ever seen and i promise to do everything to treat u like a queen and i know we just met dont wanna scare u away i just believe if u feel it u should mean what u say and what i feel is real and i hope u feel the same i wanna know all about u but i'll start with your name

worthless i feel like the core of an apple the peel of an orange like an umbrella being carried when there ain't no storm or like carrying a jacket when its ninety degrees or preparing for the wind whent there ain't even a breeze a bald man with a comb deaf man with a cell phone a kid with no ice cream just holding the cone or like climbing endless mountains still seeking the zenith or like a song with no words but my dumbass is singing it worthless sometimes i feel like ending it all saying fuck it and just giving in to lucifer's call shit i cant even pray right i stutter stammer and pause a long silence as if somebody wired my jaws is silence worthless screaming to god what is my purpose whatever it is i'm feeling like this shit ain't worth it no answers and i've been sitting here for hours hoping god can read my thoughts like misses cleos' powers my thoughts are worthless fuck where the hell is my gun and at that very moment i get a vision of my son and he says to me daddy dont make me a bastard and then i realize that little man is what matters i'm not worthless i'm worth more than gold i'm worth more than any possession that man can hold hell i'm priceless and if u ask me how do i know ask my 4 yr old son because he told me so

should i laugh and smile when u look at me funny clutching your purse and pockets like im after your money or should i revel in the fact that i've got you afraid and place a smirk on my face while your thoughts are delayed dont be nervous first you oughta let me explain that like you i'm a human with a person and a name so disregard your perceptions cause my name aint thug and no i dont beat women and i dont sell drugs im not a basketball player and i dont smoke crack im not a pimp player hustler g or mack im not anti-social i dont like loud music i dont have a lot of kids and im not abusive i dont hang on the corner drinking forties and gin with my pants hanging half way down to my shins i aint never been to prison and dont plan to go i dont steal cars rob old ladies or liquor stores so when you see me or someone like me let them explain cause like you im a human with a purpose and a name no matter what creed or color sister or brother its time wqe disregard perceptions and learn to love each other