Sweetfox FuEngaged to MRMost's blog: "On a happy Note"

lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?' Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir , what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price.

Sisters A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter. 'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.' 'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... our girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.' What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!' But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life. After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned: Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end. BUT . . . Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's' end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, step-daughters, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful. I just did. There are more than twenty angels in this world. Ten are peacefully sleeping on clouds. Nine are playing. And one is reading her email at this moment.

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb" ------------------------------------------- Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ------------------------------------------- The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone . ------------------------------------------- Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury. ------------------------------------------- Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ------------------------------------------- Coca-Cola was originally green. ------------------------------------------- It is impossible to lick your elbow. ------------------------------------------- The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska ------------------------------------------- The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) ------------------------------------------- The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs - Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson . Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All were invented by women. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day ------------------------------------------------------------ In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ - Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 200 7 when... 1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~ NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

*Redneck Pickup Lines* 1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you wuz a tree and I wuz a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. 8) **Man: - 'Fat Penguin!' Woman: - 'WHAT?' Man: - 'I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.' 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room. 11) Yer eyes are as blue as winder cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon. AND the best Redneck pick-up line: 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

Here a very good firend of mine ! He is new to Fubar and shy so I am trying to jump start him and help him out with what I consider the best of the best "YOU" my firends. Please go help him out ~ he will not downrate you and will return all love He is very real just has not had time for a salute yet Hugs and Thanks in advance Sweetfox

Ok so here is the scoup .. the two pics you see are two beautiful ladies I have met here on Fubar ~ They are both in contests and I so want them to both win ~ Would please drop by each picture and drop em a rate and a few comments They are each in seperate contests are very humble and wont ask alot for help ! BUT I WILL Giggles Thanks and hugzzzz to all of you Sweetfox

size=+1>Blessed
By Martina Mcbride
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Despite a tummy bug that has royally kicked my old ass .. lol .. Taylor and I are headed out for Halloween!!!!! We wish each of you a great nite if it means tricks or treats or just another plane old night for you. Be safe and have a good one !!! Luvs ya and huggles Taylor ( the good witch) and Laura

Just A Mom?? JUST A MOM?? A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a......?" "Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom." "We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar." "What is your occupation?" she probed. > > > What made me say it? > > > > > > I do not know. > > > > > > The words simply popped out. > > > > > > "I'm a Research Associate in the field of > > > > > > Child Development and Human Relations." > > > > > > The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair > > > > > > and looked up as though she had not heard right. > > > > > > I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most > > > > > > significant words. > > > > > > Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement > > > > > > was written in bold, black ink on the > > > > > > official questionnaire. > > > > > > "Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, > > > > > > "just what you do in your field??" > > > > > > Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my > > > > > > voice, I heard myself reply, > > > > > > "I have a continuing program of research, > > > > > > (what mother doesn't) > > > > > > in the laboratory and in the field, > > > > > > (normally I would have said indoors and out). > > > > > > I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then > > > > > > the whole family) and already have four credits > > > > > > (all daughters). > > > > > > Of course, the job is one of the most demanding > > > > > > in the humanities, > > > > > > (any mother care to disagree?) > > > > > > and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). > > > > > > But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill > > > > > > careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather > > > > > > than just money." > > > > > > There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's > > > > > > voice as she completed the form, stood up and personally > > > > > > ushered me to the door. > > > > > > As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous > > > > > > new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- > > > > > > ages 13, 7, and 3. > > > > > > Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, > > > > > > (a 6 month old baby) in the child development > > > > > > program, testing out a new vocal pattern. > > > > > > I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!! > > > > > > And I had gone on the official records as someone more > > > > > > distinguished and indispensable to mankind than... > > > > > > "just another Mom." > > > > > > Motherhood!! > > > > > > What a glorious career!! > > > > > > Especially when there's a title on the door. > > > > > > > > > > > > Does this make grandmothers > > > > > > "Senior Research Associates in the field of > > > > > > Child Development and Human Relations" > > > > > > and great grandmothers > > > > > > "Executive Senior Research Associates"?? > > > > > > I think so!!!! > > > > > > I also think it makes Aunts > > > > > > "Associate Research Assistants" > > > > > > ********************************* > > > > > > Please send this to another > > > > > > Mom, > > > > > > Grandmother, > > > > > > Aunt, > > > > > > and other friends you know that need to be > > > reminded that there is no such thing as...... > > > > > > "Just a Mom"!!!! > > > > > > ********************************* > > > > > > > > > May your troubles be less, > > > > > > your blessings be more, > > > > > > and may nothing, > > > > > > but happiness... > > > > > > come through your door!! > > > > > > ******************************** > > > > > > > > > > > > >