GG's blog: "Odds & Ends"

Wow! Hard to believe it's been so long since I post anything here! My last post was made from Illinois last year. A lot has gone on since then. Not only did I come back to Scotland, but I got married, as well. I arrived back the middle of March. After months and months of snow, the weather in Ilinois was finally getting warm (81 degrees the day I left). I came back to rain and wind and temps seem to never warm up. It was wonderful to be back. I'd really missed John. Once we got things back on an even keel and he was feeling better (he'd been sick the entre time I was away) We started making plans for he wedding. We pushed it to the limit and set the date for May 1st, the earliest possible day the paperwork would be cleared. Right up until 6 pm the night before we waited for a phonecall from the registrar telling us we'd have to postpone things because there was a snag of some sort. Everything came off without a hitch... well, except for us getting hitched. It was small and quiet and wonderful. Obviously, there are pictures and more will be posted as soon as I stop having probems with my browser. Things are going well enough now and it's time for me to buckle down and get to work seriously and churn out some pages of awesome text to publish. It's not as easy as you might think to comeup with words that sound as brilliant as they look! I've got my workspace pretty well organized and will be ready to focus completely on my writing once I get fresh paint on the walls. I'll be spending more time here than I have previously. MySpace is fooked and I've given up on it. I'll eventually get all my blogs from there posted here.... It's the small details that eat away the time I have. Maybe someone will wave a magic wand and I'll suddenly be uber organized and get done everything I need/want to.

My Book of Stories My life it is an open book And myself, I am the paper With pages filled and blank... The events that happen day by day They are the pen and ink Those who venture through my life Become my story tellers For all who meet me leave their mark And share with me this glorious tale Of which we all are part. Sheri Whitlock 2003

Disguise Words spoken and meant to deceive, A cloak you design to hide yourself. Truth glitters through as the sun Between the knotted threads of your cloth. Laughter and boasts create a colorful texture Poorly disguising all your flaws. The pattern, drawn and cut, Must now be pieced together. The thread you use to make your seams, Chosen with such haste, Stands out in stark contrast Drawing the eyes, from which you try to hide. Each piece is added when you see a need To hide a part of you from scrutiny. Haphazard stitches always needing repair, The garment you’ve fashioned, From carelessly woven cloth, Is a sight to behold. Remove your shabby costume! Wear instead the finest clothes Fashioned from yards of truth So you’ll have no need to mend and patch To get attention where ever you go.

Tempting Surrender The one who offers himself is not the one I want. He lacks those things I see in you, those things with which you've tightly bound my heart. His laughter doesn't bring a smile to spread across my face. Nor does his voice cause my heart to sing. There is nothing here connecting him to me. No shared moments of tears and trust with which to win my heart. Each time he looks into my eyes and reaches for my hand I search in vain for anything to which I can cling. I could close my eyes pretending he were you and lose myself to passion he'd quietly slip away never to be the wiser to the game which I had played. Longing, as I do, to feel myself with you, makes this moment tempting to surrender to a lovers touch. It would be a moment filled with disappointment. He's not the one I want, I'll not settle for less than you. I'll surrender only to the passion of my heart.

Her Becoming    Nestled snuggly upon a hill a tiny cottage where I used to live and love. Green everywhere the eye can see but where the blue sky sits above. Forced to leave this perfect place with no understanding of how it came to be. With hearts filled with sadness, we slowly walk away towards the gently rolling sea. I lead the way this final time upon the path we've worn. Walking these hills with pleasure and joy since the day we were born. Mind numbed and unable to think beyond the here and now, I turn, looking behind to create the saddest of all memories. There she stands in the chilly wind, red hair streaming as she struggles to bear her agonies. Clouds move over the sun to shade the brilliant blue of her tattered dress of which she was once so proud. I catch the words rising in my throat and stop myself saying her name aloud. She's standing to face our home and wishing to return to the safety of strong stone walls resting beneath it's crown of thatch. I cannot see her face, yet I know her jaw is set and sadness shadows eyes so green no emerald could ever match. I can't bear to feel the pain such saddened beauty as this has dared to evoke. Standing tall and proud in all her ageless grace wishing for all to be as it was this morning when she awoke. I turn and resume my steps, leaving her to come when she is ready to follow. Shouldering the pack which contains everything I own, my aged heart empty and hollow. I reach the sea and with painful knowing watch it's billowing tide. Her way and mine here will part for her future is to be made over those foaming waters on the other side. I carry with me for all time the image of her back as she faced the loss of her past. None else but me was there to see her woman becoming, hurried along by stones another had cast.    Sheri Whitlock 2004

Observations In Abstract It's the age old story... Just when you have it all figured out, everything changes! I went to bed one night, at last content, because everything was fine. Two and two made four Sugar tasted sweet And sunshine was sure to follow rain. I was ready to enjoy the comfort I had found. Facts is facts and I was sure I had them, each and every one. When morning came I was eager to face the day. Self assured, Nay! CONVINCED that I was right and everything was good. Oh Conceit! Trouble came and knocked me on my ass! It was just a simple thing, neatly displayed in shades of black and white. An attituded presented with opinions, which were in no way my own. Black and white make gray, or so I had always thought. Lines were drawn in sharp contrast, again and again until I was all boxed in. Try as I might to smear and smudge all that black and white to gray, I found I was unconvincing and out of words to say. So, here I sit in this box not knowing what to do. I've thought and pndered and still I'm all confused. The only thing I can figure is that I've become an ass. In my desire to create harmony and joy I forgot to take a look f rom another point of view. My ideal was to find some middle ground easily reached by compromise from all adjoining sides. To please myself is easy, and its what I tried to do thinking all the while that everyone was me. What I was blind to see is that my ideal won't always fit the bill. Some folks like their ground and they will not step away. I'm not wrong, nor are they, but now I'm living in this box and the only gray I've found is the rumbling sky overhead. OH SHIT!!!! It's started to rain!! And here I sit without a lid for this box they've put me in! Sheri Whitlock 2005

One Reaching out with all I am, beckoning you to discover me and the secrets I contain. Let my smile and laughter pull you near so the glint in my eyes might excite you. Speak with me of honest things which both our hearts contain. Put aside hesitation and doubt, step forward boldly, eager to see if we might solve these mysteries. Reach out with your hands and close your eyes, seek with me that secret place where we both have longed to go, the place we have never known. Curtains of gauze blow in the delicate breeze. Pull them aside one by one exposing more of me to the questing of your soul. Learn my secrets. Swim in the depths of me. Each step you take, I'll match them one and all, bringing myself to discover you in your entirety. I long to see the world through the heart of you. Abandon this place where we reside and everything it holds so we know nothing but your touch and mine. Skin upon skin, mind upon mind as we seek to reach beyond the known to a sacred place where two becomes one. Bowing before each other to worship in utter abandon the one who knows us best. Sharing such intimacy, before we couldn't dream. Melting together our flailing limbs until there is naught but us aspiring to become one upon another plane. Lifting each other higher, pushing towards the light, that great awakening of the secret we've held within, Needing the othr to create the key that will unlock the door. Halves of a whole fitting perfectly together as friends and lovers, each the others everything. At last complete and knowing we reach such heights we seem to have taken flight. Soaring, sailing through the stars, feeling their glittering light. Reaching forward with one soul we grasp the truth in all it's radiant beauty. Exploding through us is the exquisit joy we are the world and all is one. Basking in the glow of the secret we revealed we feel such completeness and calm as we drift upon the clouds, back to the feel of each others arms. Linked forever in a way which defies both space and time. Baring ourselves, in every way, to the searching of each other, we've found the one whose soul we dared to see. Our one from whom we'll never part, hearts entwined through all eternity, forever exploring the realms beyond reality Sheri Whitlock 2004

Fairy Dust What dream is this that flaunts itself Before my clouded eyes? Misty phantoms that disappear, Hands grasping empty air, Sparkling light across the stage, Elusive... beyond all comprehension. Teasing and taunting me to the brink of insanity! I must find a way to make you real. A driving need to claim you for my own, To know that you are more than a fantasy Beckoning me to another world Filled with happiness and truth, Vanishing from my sight in a flash of light. This dream casts a doubt upon the one who dreams it. Give me hope of finding that fairy dust, The magic that will make you real enough to touch . Sheri Whitlock 2003

The Workings of My Mind (A/K/A The Rubbish Bin Inside) You say you want to know my mind, That if you could but understand me Then you could understand everyone because I'm so hard to read. To travel through the dark passage ways Hidden deep in my psyche, you must be well armed, And even well prepared, for what it is you may find. To walk those twisting turning pathways You must expect that you will be blinded, If not by the darkness you shall find, Then by the sudden light that sometimes shines. Though my mind is the center, The crux, of who and what I am, It is my heart that you should truly seek to know. For my heart holds the goodness, Having filtered out the bitterness That grows so easily in the dark. My mind is but a warehouse that is used to store Every bit of everything and even something more. In my mind I sort and sift Through all the detritus of my life Grouping each event, each moment So it can be labeled for safekeeping,and to aid in it's retrieval. When something happens, or something new is said I compare it to those moments past Adding it to the astounding lot of information That my boundless mind does hold. Each thought I have is linked to something stored in there. A continuous chain that often holds me tightly As if I'm shackled and held prisoner by the jailer in my mind. Though I try to find the reason by always asking why, > I rarely find an answer that will satisfy. Ropes and pulleys, chains and lifts, Tools of thought so often misdirected by lack of understanding. I often find the things I've kept are very wrongly stacked and stored. Each item I connect is done instinctively, By comparing those experiences that have made me Me. More and more I find that I've attached too much, Or even worse, what I've made a set that is really quite mismatched. My tools are very flawed and used ineffectively So I've had to change the way it works and hope it's no more defective. As confused as I've become, inside this busy place, I think it's safe to say you might be lost forever if you take a peek. So I must implore of you, that you cease to seek my mind. It's a dangerous place for any who venture Even a step inside it's always open door. Look instead to the things I try to express, The words I speak are chosen with much care To paint a picture you can see. Those very words come from an open heart To voice the truth as I know it Without the dark confusion and blinding rays of light. © 2005 Sheryl Whitlock

Choices The choice I make to walk away Is not from cowardice or fear But lessons learned from past mistakes For which the cost was dear I can read the signs Having travailed this road The landmarks are all there And ill is what they bode I cannot tame the dragon Or bring him to his knees Strong as I have become Its only weakness that he sees It's not a battle fought with swords But with emotions and with tears My kindness turned against me Words laid upon deaf ears To see the battle before you And choose to walk away Is a trip along the high road To fight another day Choose your battles wisely And fight for all you're worth Just don't yourself be conquered It would fill your foe with mirth Sheri Whitlock 2003©