1921909's blog: "My Writings..."

When a smile cost me too much
And the heartbreak was all I could bare
When I was broken and out of touch
And I needed someone to be there

When I had given up the fight
And I was just trying to make it through
I took the biggest chance that night
Thats the night that I first met you

Unexpectedly I fell very fast from the start
Learning once again how to take each step
You touched some barren part of my heart
You grabbed my heart and away I was swept

It took just a second of looking at you to know
That I had found something genuine and true
And when you look in my eyes it shows
And I begin to fall anew

Its amazing the things that you will find
When you turn away and stop the quest
I guess it must all be in our minds
And when the truth comes you find real happiness.

So I end this little note
And I'll seal it with all my heart
And I guess that was all she wrote
Cause in this end, she has found her new start...

This emptiness in me

Is like a black hole

Consuming

Devouring

Eating me whole

This sadness I carry

Is weighing me down

Dragging

Draining

Pulling me into the ground

This pain that is within me

Feels as sharp as a blade

Cutting

Wrenching

Blood pooled and decayed

These thoughts in my head

Are driving me insane

Twisting

Corrupting

Feasting like acid rain

Can anyone hear me

I scream as loud as I can

Pleading

Crying

Reaching out for a hand

I want you to hurt like I do.

I want you to feel this pain.

I want you to bleed from the inside out.

And I want your tears to fall down like rain.

I want you to look in the mirror,

and despise the person that you see.

I want you to wake up in the middle of each night,

your arms reaching out for me.

I want you to feel so alone

and to wish for me to be where you are.

I want you to think back to the times

when you inflicted the worst of my scars.

I want you to face each day

with the knowledge that Im not there.

I want you to hurt so badly

that the pain you can no longer bare.

I want you to feel the way I feel

when I live through each and everyday.

I want you to feel things from my perspective

knowing that your future has gone away.

I want every second without me

to be like the worst pain in your soul.

I want you to feel these things

so Im not the only one who isnt whole.