It used to be that I poured all by blood, sweat and tears into my baby blog. I have now decided to move on from that and attempt to close the wound a bit more. I have found through this journey...my life thus far....losing the baby and the consequent attempt to heal that it has made me realize who and what I am just a bit more. I think that many of you will agree that a serious occurance in our lives can bring about something that has lain dormant in our heart or soul. I have experienced just that. I have come to realize that I have always been just a little bit different....a little darker but I could never really put a finger on it growing up. I just always knew I was different and tried to exist the best I could. Through losing the baby and trying to heal afterward, I realized that there is more to life than trying to "fit in" or be "normal". Now, like a lightswitch being flipped, I have realized what I have been ignoring....what I have been avoiding. I now embrace the darkness in me because its comfortable and it is MY personal light. For some the darkness is scary, but to me its comforting.