RED's blog: "MY POETRY"

1.I WAS BORN IN OHIO, BUT LIVED MOST OF MY LIFE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. (IN NEVADA NOW) 2.I AM VERY EMOTIONAL (SOME ALREADY KNOW THAT HEEHEE) 3. I WRITE POETRY, ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM EMOTIONAL! 4. I AM A CAMERA COLLECTOR, A BIT OBSESSED. 5. I ALSO LOVE LAMPS, ALTHOUGH I HATE THE LIGHT, FIGURE THAT ONE OUT. 6. I LIKE YOUNGER GUYS, OLDER GUYS ARE KINDDA BORING TO ME. 7. I LOVE TO LAUGH, PISSES PEOPLE OFF SOMETIMES, (WICKEY) 8. I LOVE TO COOK, BUT HATE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS, SO I USUALLY DON'T...LOL 9. I LOVE TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. 10. I HAVE A SECRET ONLY A FEW PEOPLE KNOW! *WINKS*

TIMES ARE TOUGH THESE DAYS IT SEEMS, PAINFUL MEMORIES, SHATTERED DREAMS, NOBODY DOES THE THINGS THEY SAY, EVERYTHING FOR THEM, EVERYTHING THEIR WAY. MANY USE, ABUSE AND HURT, TREATING PEOPLE BAD, TREATING ME LIKE DIRT. SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY I STILL HANG AROUND? WHAT IS THE ATTRACTION GOING ON IN THIS TOWN? THEY SAY I HAVE CHANGED, I WONDER WHY?, SHALL I GIVE UP AND NOT EVEN TRY? ARE THEY REALLY MY FRIENDS? OR JUST HERE FOR THE RIDE, CAN I FIND SOMEONE WHO WON'T HURT ME INSIDE? TIMES MOVING TOO FAST, LIFES SLIPPING AWAY, IF YOUR GOING TO LIVE HARD, YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY. IS IT REALLY WORTH IT? IS IT WORTH ALL MY PAIN? SHOULD I END IT ALL NOW, OR JUST GO INSANE????

JUST BECAUSE YOU EYES ARE OPEN DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN SEE, I KNOW YOU TOLD ME MANY TIMES OUR LOVE COULD NEVER BE. I FELL FOR YOU, IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, BUT YOU GAVE UP ON ME WITHOUT A FIGHT. YOU TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT, THAT WAS YOUR CHOICE, THE WORST PART IS, I DIDN'T HAVE A VOICE. I'M HERE FOR YOU, YOUR MY BEST FRIEND, I'LL LOVE YOU ALWAYS TO THE BITTER END. BUT GOD HAS SOMETHING PLANNED FOR YOU, AND I'LL BE HERE TO HELP YOU THROUGH. NO ONE ELSE WILL COMPARE, I DON'T KNOW HOW, I WILL LOOK AT ANOTHER, AT LEAST FOR NOW. I HOPE OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL NEVER END, WE'LL STICK TOGETHER AND MY HEART WILL MEND. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU WILL SET THEM FREE, BUT I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE IF YOU DECIDE ON ME.

MY HEAD IS SPINNING FROM THE THOUGHTS THAT RUN THROUGH MY MIND, MEMORIES OF THE PAST FLASH THROUGH MY BRAIN LIKE I'M WATCHING A SLIDE SHOW OF MY LIFE, I THINK BACK TO HAPPIER DAYS WHEN THE WORLD WASN'T AS ANGRY AS IT IS TODAY, THE FLOODGATES HAVE OPENED AND MY TEARS ARE FORMING PUDDLES ON MY PILLOW, I WISH I COULD CLOSE THE GATE BUT THE PRESSURE OF MY PAIN IS JUST TOO GREAT AND I'M JUST TOO WEAK TO FORCE IT CLOSED. SO I'LL CRY MY TEARS OF A THOUSAND MEMORIES BOTH, HAPPY AND SAD, AS I LIE HERE SHAKING IN FEAR OF WHERE THIS RIVER OF TEARS WILL TAKE ME. I WISH I COULD FLOAT DOWNSTREAM INTO A "LAKE OF TRANQUILITY" BUT SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK SUCH A PLACE EXISTS. I THINK I NEED TO BE PREPARED TO DO SOME WHITE WATER RAFTING. UNCONTROLLABLY CRASHING INTO THE ROCKS ALONG THE WAY. I HAVE NO LIFE JACKET ANYMORE SO IF I TILT JUST A LITTLE I'LL SURELY FALL OUT AND DROWN IN MY OWN SADNESS. SO WHAT IF I DO HOLD STEADY AND MAKE IT TO THE SHORE SAFELY? THEN WHAT? WILL I BE LOST IN THE DARK FOREST OF REALITY? I HAVE NO SENSE OF DIRECTION, ESPECIALLY IN THE DARK, AND OF COURSE MY FLASHLIGHT ALWAYS HAS DEAD BATTERIES. SO I'LL WANDER AIMLESSLY AND HOPEFULLY I WON'T FIND THE PATH THAT LEADS TO INSANITY. ONCE I FIND MY WAY THERE I'LL NEVER FIND MY WAY BACK. ALL I CAN DO IS HOPE SOMEONE WILL SEND OUT A SEARCH PARTY TO FIND ME, SOMEONE TO KEEP CALLING OUT MY NAME SO I CAN FOLLOW THEIR VOICE BACK TO REALITY. I NEED THIS NIGHTMARE OF DARKNESS TO END OR I WILL NEVER FEEL THE WARMTH OF THE SUN AGAIN.

OK FIRST LET ME PREFACE THIS POEM BY SAYING I WORKED ON A PHONE SEX LINE FOR MANY YEARS, AND WHEN I WROTE THIS POEM I HAD HAD ENOUGH!! BUT FOR THOSE WHO "KNOW" ME YOU PROBABLY KNOW I'M BACK!! LOL SEX,SEX,SEX, IS ALL I HEAR, PERVERTS TALKING IN MY EAR, DON'T YOU KNOW HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL?, WHEN I HEAR YOUR VOICE, IT MAKES ME ILL. IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SIT AT HOME, WATCH TV AND JACK OFF ON THE PHONE? YOU MUST REALLY LOOK GREAT TO HAVE TO CALL, WITH A BIG BEER BELLY AND NO DICK AT ALL. SO GO ON A DIET, GROW SOME HAIR, TAKE A SHOWER, GET OUT THE NAIR, DON'T CALL AGAIN, CAUSE IF YOU DO, YOU BETTER BELIEVE, I'LL HANG UP ON YOU. MAYBE NOT THESE DAYS THOUGH!!!!....LMFAO

"I'M SORRY I DON'T FEEL THE SAME WAY TOO", HIS TONGUE CUTS ME AND I BLEED TEARS, BUT HOW MANY TEARS CAN ONE GIRL SHED", I MUST HAVE AN OCEAN INSIDE ME! I FEEL LIKE I'VE WASTED A LIFETIME ON A MAN I DIDN'T LOVE, AND NOW THAT I TRUELY FEEL I'VE FOUND THE EMOTION I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR...IT'S TOO LATE! HE'S GOT A LIFETIME STILL TO LOVE, BUT THE SAND HAS ALMOST RUN OUT IN THE HOURGLASS OF MY LIFE. COULD I HAVE LIVED MY WHOLE LIFE IN A FANTASY, AND AM NOW UNABLE TO RECOGNIZE REALITY? I MEAN WHAT IS REALITY ANYWAYS, IF FACING THE TRUTH WILL SET ME FREE, WON'T IT ALSO LEAVE ME EXPOSED, NAKED, SCARED--ALONE? MY LIFE IS LIKE A TOWER OF EMPTY BEER CANS STACKED TO THE CEILING, EVERYONE KEEPS TRYING TO KNOCK THEM DOWN, AND THEY'VE COME CLOSE MANY TIMES. I'M AFRAID ONE MORE JOLT AND THE WHOLE THING WILL COME TUMBELING DOWN!, WILL THERE BE ANYONE THERE TO PICK THEM UP? OR WILL THEY BE TOO HUNGOVER OR TIRED TO CARE? I FEEL MADNESS RAGING INSIDE ME, SO I'LL SWALLOW THIS CAPSULE FILLED WITH "TIME" "TIME"--TO SLEEP "TIME"--FOR PEACE "TIME"--TO DREAM....FOREVER!